When you realize rock bottom is near

pmvines

(This is not an anti stoner thread)

Who else has had to overcome hurdles that could have changed their life trajectory if they hadn't made major changes? For me, it was drugs and alcohol. I started very early in life, around 11. Started with weed alcohol, inhalants and pills. In fact my gateway drug was Ritalin . I was prescribed it for ADHD and realized if I took more than prescribed it made things very fun for a while. I had friends with older siblings and family members who would supply us so I didn't really ever have to worry about running out. A friends parents were both nurses and would bring home prescription meds and let us do them, along with alcohol and weed. By the time I was 13 I was doing mushrooms and LSD, getting into cocaine, and by 14 I had done heroin and crack. A best friends dad was a cocaine dealer so again, I could do it when I wanted. A guy up the road gave me and my friends whatever we wanted too,.until one day he started to try to molest me so I hit him in the face with a hammer and he never bothered me again. By the time I was 15 and 16 I had friends who were older and had their own apartments and I was never home, so I spent more time high than sober.

What made me finally stop was that I had friends who were getting arrested . Friends who were getting kicked out of school and their homes. Friends who ended up homeless and robbing people .and selling themselves to to support their habits. And too many friends who were dead. That scared the shit out of me . So at the ripe old age of 16 I quit. It wasn't easy but sobriety eventually became just as habitual as was getting high. I still know people who to this day weren't able to stop. Some have no problem at all being productive humans. Some are the opposite of that. I shudder to think where I'd be if I never stopped.

So what have you had to change about yourself in order to not hit bottom ?

zalea

for me, it's the opposite. a shroom trip to the beach with a dear friend of mine where I saw the most gorgeous, fantastical sunset reminded me why life is worth living 😊

ReltvlyCanshes

I've flirted with rock bottom too many times. I don't think i ever reached it, I'm sure i haven't but my behaviors and decisions have sent me on a path tho could have lead there too many times and for too many years of my life. Luckily i escaped the worst possibilities and am working to reframe my thinking to avoided, problem is im an old dog and new tricks ain't easy.

Btw, my first childish thought was to comment rock, papers scissors

Sooson

So many temptations out there: Heidi Bier Haus, Buffalo Gold Revolutions, Dancing Drums just to name a few.
Some people learn as they grow older, some don't.

jmdank

I don't know if I ever hit rock bottom but I was an alcoholic for a good portion of my life, i was functional but my relationships with my family suffered, in a way I feel like I wasn't even an alcoholic because I could still function but I could never have 1 drink, I always binge drank, and my purpose every time I drank was to get drunk. I gave up drink not because I wanted to but because I started getting stomach issues, oddly I don't think it was from drinking but from sugar, besides drinking I was also addicted to eating large amounts of chocolate lol, I could easily eat 10oz of chocolate a day and some days close to a lb, so that caused me to develop a stomach issue called SIBO which is not fun and hard to cure, so I haven't had any booze in 4 years, I still miss it.

Carrie_Anne

BTW I always appreciate anyone not being childish in a heartfelt thread.

Paul, you are such a strong & admirable person for what you’ve accomplished. so many people get to that point and end up hitting.
I’ve watched rock bottom and tried to help support a few through it. Close friends kids have died. I’m one of the lucky ones. I experienced addiction with my daughter and I’ve spent the last 15 years in a state of terror. Holding her when she OD’d and the many 911 calls. But now she has come so far and I’m so proud of what she’s been able to do. Every step up.
I think someone who can put this serious drug /alcohol use behind them is stronger than those who’ve never had to. People who haven’t gone through addiction first hand have no idea what it takes to stay alive.

In college in 1970 it was kind of a thing to try hallucinogenics. Being an art student, I had painting professors actually encourage it.
I had never drank or smoked weed but tried everything else a few times.
LSD, mushrooms, mescaline and there were others but I can’t remember the names from back then.
Such incredible experiences I wouldn’t trade for anything. It was experimenting, so never came close to rock bottom. I was always very careful. Wish I could do some again but too concerned about effects on brain at my age.

I’ve been strong enough and disciplined so I haven’t hit that but clinical depression and hopelessness take me almost there.
I’m able to pull myself up because others depend on me.
I’m doing everything I can to not medicate as a way to fix these issues.

Carrie_Anne

@zalea
What you wrote, OMG I can relate. I want to feel that again, but of course I can’t. Or is it safe for someone my age?
I owe so much of my creativity and vision to the safe experimentation I did in the 70s.

@Anyone who shares their story here, I admire you for whatever you’ve accomplished. It hits so close to home to me. I appreciate the sincerity and strength that you all have. Let’s just all keep this thread as a caring one.

Wow, that was really brave to share.. I feel very open to talk about stuff like this in my sessions and not so brave online like this. I feel like I grew up similarly, I don’t feel as brave to talk about it as you but that was really nice to see today. Thank you for sharing sometimes it’s just nice to check the forums and see people being brave it makes me feel better when I’m sad. Thanks OP

@clearquartz ~ Seriously... This kind of courageous, open honesty... It accomplishes, hopefully, what it was sent to do. For real..

I have nothing to add on the topic of the original post, but I just wanted to express appreciation for this thread. When we start opening up, on THIS level, EVERYONE WHO READS IT WILL WALK AWAY WITH SOMETHING... I'm grateful for the minds here. Amen..

@pmvines ~ >>> I <<< am grateful for You AND Your Journey to Wholeness..

zalea

@g_w_t_w I don't know of any studies that show a negative effect on your brain in older adults, but I'm just a random cuddler and not a doctor 🤣

I did find a study that shows positive effects from psychedelics for cognition and mental health in older adults!!
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11062230/

jackwallace

I've hit rock bottom several times, and it only gets worse, not better. Right now, I'm just trying to not revisit it. Restarting my life with different friends and environment didn't work.
I'm an alcoholic, will be until the day I die. I've destroyed many relationships and people who loved me. A drink leads to drunk. I am neither a kind drunk, nor easy-going stoner. I have to abstain completely.
Isolation amped my depression, paranoia and anxiety, as it did many other people. I spiraled out of control and annihilated relationships with my daughter, my expartner and my exgf.
Believing I am in a better place now with my sobriety in check, I recently reached out to my exgf, who listened to my heartfelt apology, then kindly informed me that she had moved on. I asked that one day she forgive me. She was quiet before replying:
"The only forgiveness that matters is your own. Not mine. You can't accept anyone else's forgiveness until you can extend it to yourself first. I wish you well, Jack."

UREverything

PTSD from Covid is rampant right now. The mental chaos is impacting many people as our brains adjust, we have the opportunity to follow that brighter path