Going through severe emotional pain

I just wish I could find someone who would hold me. I feel at my breaking point emotionally. I lost my only friend and my family ignores me and treats me like I’m subhuman because I’m 30 and don’t have a job or any money. It’s been incredibly hard to get a job when my car is long broken down, I live in a completely unwalkable area, and have severe depression. They just told me they had planned a whole trip to my sisters graduation without me. And they refuse to accept that I’m trans, so I literally pretend that I’m not just so they’ll talk to me. I’m ashamed of myself.

IronicMaiden

That's a lot to be dealing with. I'm sorry your blood relatives (I refuse to call them your family) are such awful people The first thing I have to say is you are not alone. And the second thing is to never pretend to be something you're not, especially to appease abusers.

I've done fairly well connecting with people on discord. Right now I'm on a neurodivergent discord and a local trans discord. Maybe something like that will help you, especially something meant for your area. There might be LGBT groups there too, but I could see them being careful and not advertising themselves. If you found a local group, more than likely someone would be willing to give you a ride to and from meetings. After all, your story won't be new to anyone there.

There's not much I can do from way up here, unfortunately. If I find anything that might be helpful to you, I'll make sure to let you know.

Thank you I really appreciate that. 🫶 I have joined some good Discord servers, and am trying to find some good local resources. I have hope even though things feel really bleak right now.

TheFunCartel

@jenastone93 Yes, that is a lot. I think you need support so you might try The Montrose Center in Houston:

https://montrosecenter.org/

Nothing heals like communing with others going through the same experience. They have group meetings.

Thank you, I have been trying to make it to that specific place. Because of my transportation situation it’s a little difficult, it’s about 30 miles away. But I’m sure I can figure out a way, I definitely want to get into a group in person situation.

@jenastone93 Keep moving forward as best you can utilizing any and all resources you can find. You deserve to be accepted for who you are. I wish you the best.

zalea

aww sending you hugs 💜 I agree with the others, it's pretty important to spend time around those who accept who you are. Easier said than done ofc, but there are apps like Her and Lex that are lgbtq focused, to help you find community. Don't feel ashamed you have to hide who you are sometimes, it's just what we have to do to survive. Hang in there 🫂

Thank you so much. I know it’s not true but I feel like I can’t take not having my best friend. He was all I had, and I feel so isolated here it’s so hard to do anything.