Ghosting

Is it common that you can have a five-star session with someone—great experience, nothing bad happens, highly respected healthy session—but after the appointment, when you want to stay connected and check up on them and say "hello"? they ghost you, even block you, without any reason? Is this common, especially as a male pro cuddler?

ReltvlyCanshes

I think you may have an experience that not many men have in here. Congratulations!

Or maybe i should say half of it is unfamiliar. I'm sure most have been ghosted but getting paid?! You cracked a code

But seriously, i guess transaction is complete no need to respond also it's Christmas maybe after the new year and her bank account is back to normal.

Huggycatbear

I, too, am interested in your experiences @RenaissanceEQ !

Of being a male pro cuddler in general.

All I have to offer to this conversation is as a client, there are some pro-cuddlers that aren't very good at communicating. And this leads to some unnecessary anxiety leading up to the session. Especially since pros can be late finding their host's place for the first time.

So I appreciate that it looks like you're a great communicator!

@Huggycatbear It's confusing yet weird. lol I wouldn't mind offering a free session. lol Usually I'm the one who likes to strike up a conversation and do the most work, like giving a light massage, hugs, or paying for a social event in public, but receives no tips. lol I really enjoy meeting new people and thinking outside the box and taking them out to dinner and eating something that's mutual. But I guess they value money over the experience. It is what it is. can't cry over spilled milk. But it is awareness I like to address. But I do understand that women don't like to pay men for service. So I may have to strategize and do a free session for those who really want to feel connected and ease any anxieties or stress others have to deal with internally. I'm more of a people-over-profit kind of kat. However, it seems that mostly others are the opposite of what I thought. lol

pmvines

It may have been a great session but that doesn't necessarily mean that they are interested in being friends outside of the client / cuddler dynamic. Boundaries. You wouldn't be texting or calling a masseuse or hairdresser or dance instructor just to say howdy and how was their weekend would you ? If so you'd probably get same reaction.

Huggycatbear

@RenaissanceEQ Very interesting, as I find doing some of those same things as a client.

For example, I am hosting a pro for an overnight stay, but I am going to cook her dinner.

I wonder, do women want more privacy in taking part in the cuddle community then men? Is the privacy they seek different? For example, is more of them apt not to leave reviews?

The difference between men and women seems to be more distinct in a community like this.

Gosh, if you were only a woman, I would cuddle with you haha. But alas, all I can offer a fellow is a virtual hug and appreciate you doing what you do.

@pmvines it not so much about being friends, but just being social in confinement, even if you want to meet with them again for another session.

@Huggycatbear that's a good question, man! I think women do have different intentions than what's presented. But it is what it is.

ReltvlyCanshes

@RenaissanceEQ since you're the pro don't you think they will reach out whenever they want your services? I know the dealership reaches out to remind you you need an oil change but i think cuddling is probably a little differnt to "clients". I mean is not respond to my pro if she text me "good morning" or "you up" or maybe i would....

bushbatch

Poor guy suffering from success.

@ReltvlyCanshes I don't really have women reaching out to me. I usually reach out to them and introduce myself since I'm a socialable kat. I understand the nature that some women aren't comfortable approaching men.

ReltvlyCanshes

What I'm saying is after they reach out for your services the first time they will reach out whenever in need again. I understand you may be social and thoughtful, but if they are requesting your services they would want to initiate service and not want anything beyond that.

Carrie_Anne

If you’re a Pro, it’s against TOS for you to initiate contact unless they viewed your profile first. If they have, it’s ok for you to send a message.

pmvines

@RenaissanceEQ
Ah so you are the cuddle pro not client, I didn't catch that part. I honestly feel like @ReltvlyCanshes in that they will reach out to you if want another session but like I said before, boundaries my guy. They probably want it to be a service based relationship as is the case with many people who hire someone for a service. They don't necessarily want to keep in touch. Some might some might not, you gotta respect that boundary and preference because not everyone needs or even wants to have extra contact. And you being the one offering a paid service it really does have risk of confusing the client into blurring the context and actual nature of their dynamic with you. They could also very well think you're just trying to drum up business and ignore you based on principal. So don't be so quick to call it ghosting. Think about it from more than just your angle, and from that as a client.

@pmvines @ReltvlyCanshes . I've always been professional and desire to respect people's space from the beginning to the end. I understand some people aren't comfortable expressing cuddling service or sharing what to do in the cuddle community with the outside world, so many people would like to keep it discrete or private; i mean, it is an intimate moment looking back at it, respectively. As a Pro cuddler, I rarely had ladies message me and want my service. But at the same time, close mouths don't get fed, so I do want to be social and put myself out there for those who may be interested. I was fortunately to meet some ladies with whom I did virtual sessions and met out of town free of charge mutually. The clients who I met say they are open to meet with me and hang out in a public setting from our session. But I understand I have to be more patient and understand the intentions of this platform. I'm more of a people-over-profit kind of kat. I think I probably need to drop my Pro Cuddling status; it really draws the same line in being in the same buble as being a client as a male cuddler since the trend is women don't like to pay men for service, respectively. Thanks for the input and discussion, gentlemen; it really helped clear the smoke and understand the operation of this platform

ReltvlyCanshes

@RenaissanceEQ i don't think that it's women don't like to pay men, i think they just don't need to pay men for this service. Now I'm thinking maybe i misunderstood you and your saying you cuddled someone for free and they ghosted you... maybe out of town. If that's the case they probably just aren't interested in maintaining that relationship outside of cuddles. I was thinking someone booked you and didn't book again or respond to messages after. I think there is a clear distinction in that. Especially if you're a pro and they are a pro and exchanging free (just cuddling) service. If the lady is a pro, she's probably got her hands full and time spent.

@ReltvlyCanshes I guess so, my guy. . . .lol I think based on my nature of wanting to be socialable, expressing thoughtfulness creatively, and building a community, perhaps this platform isn't for me or is not suitable for it socially. I really did enjoy meeting new people. You live and you learn. lol

ReltvlyCanshes

I think you just have to have measured expectations. Being a man, pro is probably not the way. But being an enthusiast you'd have to reach out to a different type of cuddler. I'm still confused as to what you've experienced. But it seems you've been more successful than most in either. But if you got one paid cuddle your a winner. If the cuddles you have had are not by booking pros you are also a winner.

pmvines

I mean, if that's what you think after one person' doesn't respond or want to continue a friendship then I think you may be severely over thinking it and honestly might not be being respectful of the fact that not everyone is going to want to spend the same amount of time and energy than you are. It's the internet and you are going to have to be able to stomach that things don't always go the way you eant it to if you're going to survive. I mean you no harm or Ill will when I say this, but move forward with your life and don't obsess on it. And respect other peoples right to autonomy when it comes to keeping in touch etc. Good luck

@pmvines Nah, it's not extreme, my guy. lol I wasn't taking it seriously like that. It's just a curiosity overall; I'm good.
I'm still a rookie I just joined this site back in July. I was trying to understand the trends and patterns of this platform. I do really enjoy meeting new people in unique ways like this. I appreciate you and your input.

pmvines

Often what we consider ghosting isn't really ghosting

@pmvines if that's what you think my guy then cool. 🤷🏽‍♂️

GuyverGordon

pmvines

Yup I do my guy cool cool