@Mare_Bear
Very well said
@FWCuddles Don't stop reporting!! 😎 To the tune of:
Some of you people here are more naive than Sister Skinny
So unfortunate that sometimes the creep vibes aren't exactly reportable. I deal with that a LOT.
For example, someone asking for a session after midnight. Or just pet names in general.
Obviously my pictures don't solicit that attention, but creepers are everywhere.
@FWCuddles I don’t see any reports made by you.
@KuddlyKoala I’d still report it if you get creepy vibes. You may be unlocking Pandora’s box for us mods and who knows what disgusting convos have been going on. We won’t know unless they are reported.
(We can’t see anyone’s messages unless the person is reported. Reporting unlocks that access)
@CharlieBear Thanks for letting me know that! I'll be more diligent🙂
@KuddlyKoala Yes please, they will not know you reported them.
You can report anything that doesnt feel right and then that will give the mods access to their message history and they can see if they have been talking inappropriately to other people that didn't get reported.
I periodically get on, observe and report. You dont have to be a pro or an active cuddler at all to help the community out 🤷🏽♂️
@BerrySweet its sad to hear you're having some rough luck.
@pmvines i just boiled 2 dozen eggs friday, does that make me boujie now? 🤣
@munkg
Man you're living the life I can only dream of , you'll make a killing come Easter
@Mare_Bear I see what you're going for, but not everything you listed is wholly inappropriate for a cuddling site.
Maybe I'd refer to my dentist as honey or babe if I spooned with him/her. As it stands I don't think I've ever even shaken a Dr/dentists hand, let alone spooned with them.
My dentist looks like Danny de Vitto so I'm sure i never have.
Just me, but I can't see calling a platonic friend "babe." Your mileage may vary.
I have platonic friends who I share pet names with, they call me things and I call them things, say we love each other etc. I personally see nothing wrong with that if that's your dynamic with each other as it can be very benign and just an extension of verbal affection. But it's not something you do with total strangers and it's not something you do with someone who clearly has it as a boundary that they do not like that. To each their own and people are allowed to define what they are comfortable with in terms of platonic affection but like anything else it's all about comfort level and consent. And like @Mare_Bear and others have said, it's a business and you have to be professional about it if you're a cuddle pro and keep clear boundaries. It's hard enough to keep feelings etc in check to begin with , neither the client nor the pro should be getting all flirty and talking like they are dating, it just runs too much risk of confusing things
Man, if someone called me handsome or beautiful I would be thrilled.
So everything is context. Everything is how one feels in the context of the moment. Now that I think about it, if all I heard was hey handsome, I'd be sick of it too. (But I would tell no one)
Dont give these interactions power people. They have no power over you, only the power you give them.
The world is confusing. Cuddling is so new that it may take decades for society to catch up. Male female interaction makes it even more difficult especially in recent times.
If I would give advice it would be, put yourself in the customer's shoes (they really are your paying customers) and give them the benefit of the doubt once.
Once. (Three times is a pattern)
Also, remind them to respect the professional dynamic. If they are decent people they will get it. This will show them your power as the professional and you will be doing a service to ridding creep behavior, one comment at a time.
I'm running a business here, please don't call me: sweetie, babe, honey, beautiful. Is that how you address your dentist?
I think there is a cultural aspect to this. I do not use any of those terms, but I was in Georgia last week and a server at a cafe repeatedly called me “sweetie” and “honey”. I did not take it as flirtatious, just something she probably does with all her customers.
I’m sure if I had objected that she would have stopped (or at least tried to stop, probably a long time habit for her).
Waitresses say “hon” and “sweetie” at diners all over the country because guys like it as @Dance_Culture pointed out and increases their chances of a better tip. That is not the same thing as a guy saying that to a woman as romantic nicknames are remnants of when men thought it was perfectly ok to use those terms in the workplace. Kind of like guys who get handsy in the workplace and say what’s wrong with putting my hand on the small of her back.
Trying to justify pet names and unwanted touch after a woman like @Mare_Bear has stated her boundaries IS creepy behavior.
And this…
Maybe I'd refer to my dentist as honey or babe if I spooned with him/her.
It is still unacceptable if the person you spooned states they do not want to be called that and you still call her by one if those names. And if you persist in calling a woman that and feel entitled to because you spooned her A) you are a walking red flag who does not understand boundaries or what platonic means and she has the right to call you a creepy perv and add that she will report.
Seems like respecting people's names and terms and boundaries should be taught in kindergarten. It's weird how many people have trouble with that. Not enough teaching people to treat people like people, I guess.
I do recall being called babe, honey/hun, sweetie, love, and probably other things in the past by pros. I just figured that was their way of talking with everyone to show a warm personality and perhaps get someone to want to schedule a session more maybe. Didn't bother me or really affect my decision.
I however don't ever call new people names like that in my own personal life, so I don't do it here either. It just feels awkward for me to try to do unless I'm in a relationship with the person and even then... I usually wait for them to come up with the pet names first before I get the courage to say it myself without it sounding weird to me.
That being said, I'm even less likely to say that here as I wouldn't want to make anyone uncomfortable or offended by it.
If someone has clearly stated they aren't comfortable being referred to by a specific pet name and you continue to do it, yeah that's creepy/bad behavior. Most of those pet names, in and of themselves do not necessarily mean the dude is trying to be a creep nor does a cuddle session after midnight. People work all different sorts of schedules, asking if a time is available doesn't mean there is any form of entitlement. I've cuddled a gal at 7am before, I needed to hit the road before 11 and as it turns out it worked out great because she started her day job in the afternoon. Simply asking if a time is available does not automatically make someone 'weird' or a 'creep'. Now if the cuddler specifically states they do not cuddle after 10pm or before a certain time, yeah that's going to be a bit inconsiderate, though not report worthy. Worst case scenario, block and move on.
@CSnMUS87 yeah, I've heard words like baby and sweethart used to address me when called by female dispatchers. Business relationship, I guess they figure it's more likely that I will do them a favor if they flatter me.
My rule of thumb is to be not businesslike, but friendly in my initial message to a cuddler and use a similar type of language/tone that they use in subsequent replies.
Already reported, but I thought some of you may appreciate this gem:
Yea same here.
Also with co workers, pet names and "I love you" are quite common.
As to "running a business" , I believe some of the contributors to this thread agreed in past discussions that making the interaction feel like a business transaction is not the most welcoming and may turn off some. Im not sure how many pros will be ok with adding "I'm running a business so don't call me this or that " to their intro page as it may turn off even those who know better.
This is not a rejection of @Mare_Bear s comment , as people should know better. just a general comment/reminder about "business" .
@SquishyJackie
Yeah, the fact that a married dude bro interwebs stranger sees nothing wrong with telling you that your reasons for not seeking sex on CC are not valid is an unfortunate testament to the total lack of insight, self awareness, and empathy that folks have on here and is why I roll my eyes when guys complain about women not wanting to cuddle with them and how easy it is for women to find platonic cuddle friends on here. If 90 percent of dudes messaging me were not respecting my no and really just wanting to get into my pants I don't think I'd be really wanting to meet too many folks either and would likely leave the site
@pmvines yeah I'm still torn on the married thing, but I'm willing to give it a try when they're respectful about it because I get there are lots of reasons and it might prevent someone from doing something worse. This guy tho, after I said we're done he still had the audacity to respond with "what did I say that was so bad?" Really, dude? Really?
Could just be someone in a poly relationship, except:
1) If brought up, it would be a long discussion about poly and boundaries, not a dismissal. 2) If he's that disrespectful of the boundaries we all agree to by being on this site, there's a good chance his wife doesn't know she's in a "poly" relationship.
Just another dude that will bang a goat if he could , taking shots from half court. Most will miss, one or two will hit. Another reason why they should have not shut down the craigslist adult section and other similar sites.
@ironlemon when I initially asked if his wife knew, he said no and he wanted to keep it that way. Not poly, just a cheater.
@sooson I agree. Same reason i think if sex work were legal in the States I think everyone would stay in their lane and we'd all be a lot happier. Everyone would get what they wanted.
but I was in Georgia last week and a server at a cafe repeatedly called me “sweetie” and “honey”. I did not take it as flirtatious, just something she probably does with all her customers.
😁😁😁😁
@JohnR1972 Lol! 😄That's true of us Georgians, as I have called co-workers of mine (particularly the youngsters in their 20s) "honey" or "baby" as well. And it's also HOW YOU SAY it too, like I say those terms in my "little ole granny voice" and they pick up on the tone of that voice as it (likely) reminds them of their own mothers or grandmothers talking to them. They see nothing offensive in my referring to them in that way, they seem to find me humorously endearing, "Mother Katota" is how some would refer to Me.❤️😊