If it sounds too good to be true ...

FitSmartCuddler

I've noticed a trend here recently of profiles that purport to be "enthusiast" BUT ....

1) They're way above average in terms of physical attractiveness. (Yes, I know that's not supposed to matter since everything is "platonic" here, but for the average heterosexual male, it does.)

2) They're really, really trying to convince you that you should cuddle with them--their profiles scream "PRO" even though it's not (supposedly).

3) They're young but there's no preferred age range. "Hey, I'm 24, but happy to cuddle, for no pay, with dudes in their 60's or 70's!" (This doesn't seem to happen much in the real world.)

What do you think is going on here?

GGGDomme

Be leery. Ask questions or listen to your gut and don't engage.

MTex

I think the only way to find out is to message them. I have a bet going with myself to message all the new members who are "too good looking" to see whether or not they are catfish. So far every handsome pilot has been a fake! 🥸 😄 As soon as they start saying that they want something more, or deeper, and want to move communication off site within the first few messages RUN it's a catfish. 🙄 How can they have feelings for me when they don't even know what I look like, so dumb. 🥴 🤦🏻‍♀️

Edit: You can report once you have proof of ill intent.

CuddleDuncan

Report them as suspected non-registerd professionals. The Mods can then deal with it.

SunsetSnuggles

@FitSmartCuddler posted: "profiles that purport to be "enthusiast" BUT ...."

If you have reasonable suspicion that an enthusiast is charging money for cuddles (AKA an Untagged Pro), report them. The mods can easily find out.

@FitSmartCuddler posted: "They're way above average in terms of physical attractiveness."

If they look like a Vegas stripper...be on guard. 😅 If they're just attractive... shrug That doesn't mean they're an Untagged Pro, but again, if you have some reason beyond, "You're too hot to want to cuddle for free", report them.

@FitSmartCuddler posted: "I know that's not supposed to matter since everything is "platonic" here, but for the average heterosexual male, it does.)"

🤢

@FitSmartCuddler posted: "They're really, really trying to convince you that you should cuddle with them--their profiles scream "PRO" even though it's not (supposedly)."

Everyone here is looking to cuddle...many profiles come off as desperate or "trying to convince". This doesn't indicate an Untagged Pro; more likely extreme loneliness or lack of social skills.

I'm not sure what "screams Pro" since you didn't give specifics (and obviously you can only give so much on the board without tagging someone), but if you see red flags like CashApp handles, Wish List links, etc., report them.

@FitSmartCuddler posted: "They're young but there's no preferred age range. "Hey, I'm 24, but happy to cuddle, for no pay, with dudes in their 60's or 70's!" (This doesn't seem to happen much in the real world.)"

Maybe you've been meeting shallow people?

I've been here since I was 35, and have cuddled people from 18 to 75.

There's a cuddler I know who started at 18 and was open to cuddling any age or gender.

Seeing as your age preference goes from half your age and cuts off only two years above your age, perhaps you are projecting.

~ Sunset Snuggles

🫂 Enthusiast 🐄 Vegan 🫧 Kid at Heart

It's entirely possible they are planning to become pros and haven't applied yet. If they're new, they may not even know about pros yet. You're not obligated to cuddle with them, so if you don't like the profile, move on.

There can certainly be red flags in a profile that justify a report. I'm not sure, "Wow, she's hot" counts as one.

CuddleDuncan

What the OP is talking about is a particular type of very suspicious profile. There is no individual feature that marks it out, and it's very difficult to pin down the details. For example I have seen profiles of a very attractive woman who cuddles everybody which are very obviously genuine, and others - nominally the same - which are very obviously dubious. I Report the dubious ones - I've seen dozens if not hundreds - and they are invariably banned.

There are two things that make such profiles suspicious. One is something about the tone, and that includes the tone of the photo. We're talking about something extremely subtle here.

The other is consistency with typical, ordinary profiles. There is just something different, something not quite right.

Spend some time - it may take a while - just going through the profiles of new members and you'll see what I mean. The vast majority are clearly genuine, but now and then you find one that just .... gives you a funny feeling.

What it adds up to is that such profiles are like a very convincing fake yawn. Good enough to convince somebody who isn't paying attention, but not at all convincing to somebody who is.

One of the most serious problems this website has is well meaning people giving the benefit of the doubt to bad actors. The truth is, there is never any doubt. New people being ignorant or foolish or naive stand out as that - it's blindingly obvious. If there is doubt, it is ALWAYS a bad actor. I don't think I've seen an exception in five years. Maybe once. On this site, never, ever give the benefit of the doubt to a stranger: you're just helping somebody who means harm.

@CuddleDuncan But if the person with the profile in question hasn't actually done anything to break the rules ... their profile just seems off somehow ... what can the site do? Other than be aware there may be future reports?

Jubal

@WriterGF well, the site can monitor the persons "private" messages looking for payment requests, sending inappropriate photos or such.

@Jubal Really? Just based on an "I have a feeling" report? That seems pretty slim grounds to be reading someone's messages.

TheFunCartel

@WriterGF I agree. Our legal system would never function if you had the police investigating people that someone felt were “a little off”. And you are asking volunteer moderators on this site to look into people that someone deems “too good looking”? There are guidelines to what is forbidden in profiles—report people who violate that. Otherwise, you are reporting on sheer subjectivity and speculation—and we know how well that went in Salem, MA years ago.

Jubal

@WriterGF I've had pro's show me the warning messages they've received from the site for things that were in their private messages, so presumably the mods can and do monitor those messages based on what you would describe as "slim grounds".

I ain't saying whether it's right or wrong, just that it is what it is.

SunsetSnuggles

@CuddleDuncan
If all bad actors were reported by everyone they preyed on, and dealt with properly, we'd be missing a few regulars on here. Sadly, reporting sometimes falls on deaf ears.

@WriterGF posted: "if ... their profile just seems off somehow ... what can the site do? Other than be aware there may be future reports?"

Exactly that. They make note of it and then next time someone reports them, it builds a chain, so perhaps further action will be taken.

@Jubal
The mods can only access messages if a report has been made and it is pertinent to do so. If user X reports user Y, their message exchanges become available to the mods. They do have the ability to look through all messages, but I believe this would require a more serious report and obviously be something worth their precious time. Not just, as several of us have said, "She's too hot".

~ Sunset Snuggles

🫂 Enthusiast 🐄 Vegan 🫧 Kid at Heart

CuddleDuncan

@WriterGF Reporting a profile allows the Mods to look at their messages. They can presumably look at other things as well, for example checking to see if this is a banned person trying to return. There is usually a smoking gun - or several - in there somewhere.

Even if there isn't, it brings the profile to the attention of the Mods, and they can keep an eye on it. If its genuine, no harm done. If not, they can take the appropriate action.

More than once a member - sometimes somebody I don't even know - has sent a profile to me with a message along the lines of "this profile is obviously squeaky clean, but somehow it also stinks to high heaven". We do a little bit of internet devilling and it rarely takes long to find the non-platonic activity.

The site monitors certain things automatically and professionals (and enthusiasts) may receive warning messages. The system is not perfect and sometimes generates false positives, and the Mods are well aware of that.

btc13

People should be reported for breaking the rules, not for a vague suspicion that they might. I.e. let's pull over the guy in the sports car, not because he is doing anything illegal, but because I believe someone with a sports car will.

TheFunCartel

@btc13 Believe it or not, I agree with you.

@btc13 Good analogy.

SunsetSnuggles

@btc13
Exactly. Check out this CVS employee who was accosted and taken to jail for two and a half days, simply for wearing a hoodie while waiting for his Lyft to pick him up after his shift. 👀

~ Sunset Snuggles

🫂 Enthusiast 🐄 Vegan 🫧 Kid at Heart

FitSmartCuddler

Well, surprise, surprise. Of the three or four "enthusiast" cuddlers I had in the "if it sounds too good to be true" category, all but one are now gone from the site. Scammers who were found out and booted? Or did they just do so much enthusiast cuddling in a short period of time that they decided they didn't need any more? I kind of doubt it's that second one, but it doesn't really matter--the important thing is that they won't be providing any of us with enthusiast cuddling in the foreseeable future.

The one remaining person now has "pro pending approval" displayed on her page. She's been on here for while, apparently under false pretenses. I actually sent her a message recently and didn't get a response--in retrospect, not surprising, since it would've put her in the awkward position of telling me she wants to get paid even though her profile doesn't say this.

So far, "if it sounds too good to be true, it probably isn't" seems to holding up. :-}

@FitSmartCuddler Or maybe they got harassed by men and quit, as many women do here.

cde123

@FitSmartCuddler You posted about this same topic back in 2022 and you still have zero karma. Are you a catfish? You sure look like one.

CuddleDuncan

@btc13 I believe this site should be a safe and platonic place. It seems that you are keen for sex workers to flourish here.

May I remind you of what the Moderators have invited us to do to help them: "If in doubt, Report".

pmvines

Mods, I'm sure, aren't fans of over zealous reports just for the sake of subjecting the person to the mods being able to access their accounts. I'm sure they prefer it to be for a legit reason. Reporting is necessary to help clean up the site and keep it for it's intended purpose, however there is such thing as abusing the report system. A little common sense goes a long way sometimes.

supadupa

There’s been a spate of enthusiasts in the New York area with the same pattern names and look and age to them. All fake. There’s even one pro that when you do an inagevaearch turns out it’s an influencer from Europe. But for some reason even after reported the profile remains. Lots of karma, I suspect the guys cuddling this person don’t care it’s not the same person but sort of similar and don’t want to offend but have a really nice time so they don’t report pictures are fake and since they have lots of karma means they book quite a lot so maybe that’s why they haven’t been banned yet? Doesn’t make sense

@pmvines Well said. There's a difference between responsible self-policing and witch hunting.

Carrie_Anne

@cde123 I thought the exact same thing.

FitSmartCuddler

@cde123 you said: "You posted about this same topic back in 2022 and you still have zero karma. Are you a catfish? You sure look like one."

Of course not. But if I was, I'd probably have no qualms lying about it, so how do you really know?

FitSmartCuddler

@WriterGF you said: "Or maybe they got harassed by men and quit, as many women do here."

Maybe. But, as we constantly hear, all the enthusiasts get deluged with mail from guys and, the complaint goes, most men continually push boundaries and try to turn things sexual. Yet most of the enthusiast profiles I see have stuck around for years.

Do real women who have known from the age of 14 or 15 that many guys find them very attractive really think they can go on a website like this, offer free cuddling, write a profile that sounds like they really, really want you to contact them for cuddles, and not understand that many of the responses are going to be, shall we way, sub-optimal in quality? That stretches credulity for me.

FitSmartCuddler

@supadupa you said: "There’s been a spate of enthusiasts in the New York area with the same pattern names and look and age to them. All fake. There’s even one pro that when you do an image search turns out it’s an influencer from Europe."

There' one "if it sounds too good to be true" enthusiast in my area who lists her job as "We can model" (sic). Maybe I'm overly suspicious, but that sort of looks like a way to advertise that you're a "webcam model" without outright saying it.

"But for some reason even after reported the profile remains. Lots of karma, I suspect the guys cuddling this person don’t care it’s not the same person but sort of similar and don’t want to offend but have a really nice time so they don’t report pictures are fake and since they have lots of karma means they book quite a lot so maybe that’s why they haven’t been banned yet?"

Is it possible that a fake profiler can create a number of fake male profiles and then write up a bunch of fake, glowing karmas that look like they came from the fake guy profiles? Just a thought.