Why are most females pro and most males are not?

Hmza92

I was wondering, if this was supposed to be a website for platonic cuddling, then why almost all women charge fee and almost all men do not? Is it that men need cuddling more, so by rules of supply and demand women get to charge? Are men more sensitive creatures and women more materialistic? Or do one or both groups expect more out of the cuddle nd that's why women ask for fee? Because when it comes to non-platonic services, then yes men do pursue these more than women.

I really wish to understand, if it was a shared need, then why one group is more welling to do it for free?

(Plz don't ban)

pmvines

Charging to cuddle does not equal non platonic I have no idea where you make that correlation, and it's pretty insulting not just to the cuddle pro but to the client to falsely generalize like that

Katota

why almost all women charge fee and almost all men do not?

@Hmza92 Because they choose to. ☺️

HeartfulHealing

I have a lot of beautiful humans that I cuddle in my life, so while I love cuddling, I don’t feel like it’s something that I need. And is the service that I provide because I enjoy cuddling with other people, and I value my free time.

Hmza92

In my mind I was thinking, if in massage services for example women were charging a lot, and men charging way less or even offering it for free, then it must be either: men need massages more often (cuz they do more physical work or something), or it's not about the massage!

But now I'm thinking it could also be other things like: women are better at giving massage, women are more shy and less welling to work as massage therapist therefore less workers and higher prices, or something else

jmdank

Yes it is supply and demand, personally I avoid pros.

Hmza92

Yea my initial reasoning was wrong, I thought to myself isn't cuddling stereotypically a women's thing? Then why they not welling to do it
But they are welling, tho not with a stranger, only a few would do it with a stranger and therefore supply and demand

Katota

But they are welling, tho not with a stranger

🤔

@pmvines Friend, we were strangers when we first cuddled together.... Weren't we? ☺️

pmvines

@Katota

Apart from the obligatory not an axe murderer survey yes, we were !

Katota

@pmvines Lol. 😆
True, I decided not to waste my axe chopping 🪓 on first meeting You ...Glad, I made that decision! 😁🫂

CuddleDuncan

There is a complex network of reasons, some of which are essentially societal and some of which are more specific to this site.

Non-platonic activity of any kind gets you banned immediately from this site, and has no effect on the question the OP has posed. (Men and women both make non-platonic suggestions, and men and women both sexually assault cuddle partners. The patterns of behaviour, however, are different for each sex.)

Far more men than women join the site. Many of the women who do join are immediately overwhelmed with messages or other pressures, and leave almost immedately. The women who survive need a very thick skin merely to cope with the aggressively poor communication skills and entitlement of a significant minority of the men who message them, and that's even before you get to the men who make non-platonic suggestions.

Many women decide then to become professional. But they very quickly discover that there is a great deal more to being a professional cuddler than meets the eye. It is a skilled, difficult and demanding job and most people can't do it.

All of these things reduce the number of women and thereby exacerbates the discrepancy in numbers.

The difference in the numbers of men and women seeking cuddles is a societal question: all corners of the cuddle world suffer from this problem. The origin of this is not well understood, but I believe it is because men are more likely to consider touch as distinct from emotional connection, whereas women are more likely to consider the two as inseparable.

Katota

Then why they not welling to do it

@Hmza92 As an Enthusiast, I am willing to cuddle with strangers (as I have indeed cuddled with strangers before 🫂), however I am NOT willing to cuddle with strangers...

Who don't know (or like to PRETEND to not know) what the word PLATONIC actually means.🙄

Who ignore my boundaries and Safety Protocols before meeting to cuddle.🙄

Who stops communicating/doesn't put in effort to communicate enough to get somewhat acquainted with Me firsthand.🙄

Who wants to flirt or attempts to weasel "sexy talk" outta me versus just keeping it PLATONIC, especially in the beginning.🙄

Too many "cuddlers" I reject due to reasons mentioned above. ☝️☺️

Katota

@CuddleDuncan The women who survive need a very thick skin merely to cope with the aggressively poor communication skills and entitlement of a significant minority of the men who message them, and that's even before you get to the men who make non-platonic suggestions.

✊😁

😆😆😆😆

disneysamurai

Since just about every pro I’ve met with has been really awesome and I connect really well and time flies by, I don’t mind paying even if it is hard on my bank account. It’s rare you ever meet people like that these days.

Hmza92

Y'all raise good points, Duncan is correct about women being driven out of the site because of being approached by ppl with bad intentions, therefore less number of women on the site.

And Katota you're right, seems you and other women are more selective about whom to cuddle with, selectivity means less available and more value

Katota

And Katota you're right, seems you and other women are more selective about whom to cuddle with, selectivity means less available and more value

😁

@Hmza92 Again as a Cuddle Enthusiast, as I am not a Cuddle Pro, I have that luxury to be very selective as I am not getting paid financially to cuddle. 🙂

However there are Cuddle Pros who are selective like myself, and there are some who aren't.

I do like your definition of selectivity, thank you. ☺️👍

InfiniteJoy

I have done some research and these are my findings:

There are several reasons why there appear to be more female professional cuddlers than male, and why the demand for female cuddlers is generally higher:

• Client Demographics: The majority of clients seeking professional cuddling services are men. Research suggests that men are often more touch-deprived than women, and may seek professional cuddling to fulfill this need. Some men also express a desire for nurturing touch that they might not receive in their daily lives.

• Social Perceptions and Stigma:

  • Conflation with Sex Work: Professional cuddling, regardless of the gender of the cuddler, often faces stigma due to being mistakenly associated with sex work. This can be a particular challenge for male cuddlers, as the public perception of men offering platonic physical services may be more easily misinterpreted as sexual.
  • Gendered Expectations of Nurturing: Society often associates nurturing and comforting roles more readily with women. This can make it more socially acceptable and comfortable for individuals to seek platonic touch from a female provider.
  • Concerns about Homophobia and Sexual Harassment: Male clients, in particular, may be more skeptical about seeking touch from other men due to concerns about homophobia or the potential for sexual harassment, even in a professional, platonic setting.
• Demand for Female Touch: While both men and women can experience touch deprivation, there's a strong demand from male clients for the specific kind of nurturing and non-sexual touch often associated with female cuddlers.
• Business Viability: Some platforms for professional cuddling have noted that male cuddlers book clients significantly less frequently than female cuddlers, leading to different pricing structures or challenges in sustainability for male providers.

It's important to note that professional cuddling aims to provide non-sexual, platonic touch for comfort and connection. However, societal norms and gendered perceptions significantly influence how this service is both offered and received.

MTex

I am a female enthusiast & I agree with what has already been said. @CuddleDuncan summed it up well. @Katota explained the female enthusiast plight at choosing who we cuddle with & why.

RadiantHugs

Nothing is ever free. If there is no monetary exchange, trust me there is another exchange most of the time. Sometimes the exchange is overt, in which case it is not a problem. But more often than not it is a covert contract where the exact barter is unclear, and that becomes troublesome.

I personally have “only show pros” checked in my profile when trying to find cuddlers. I just prefer the situation where I pay the session fee and then I know that is the exchange. I get my touch needs met and they get their money. It’s expensive, so I don’t do it often, but at times when I feel dangerously close to shutting down for lack of touch, it’s a lifesaver.

cde123

You're on the right track with your post. Mainly though, women don't need to settle for platonic cuddles, paid or free. It's always another reason they're here.

btc13

Basic microeconomics. Supply and demand. Many more men wanting to cuddle women, so the women who are willing to cuddle are able to charge. I'm sure that the majority of the pro women cuddlers on this site would not be here if they weren't making money from it.

PeopleLikeUs

This is a thoughtful question, and I think you're tapping into something bell hooks writes about in The Will to Change: how patriarchy affects everyone, not just women.

When women charge for cuddling and men don’t, it isn’t necessarily because one gender is more sensitive or more materialistic. It’s that we’ve been taught very different lessons about touch, emotion, and safety. Women are often socialized to guard their emotional energy and physical closeness because they’re so often taken advantage of when they offer it freely. Men, on the other hand, are often starved for platonic touch and closeness because they’ve been taught to suppress emotional need unless it’s sexualized or hidden.

So even though both genders need cuddling, the way we approach that need gets distorted by patriarchal training. And as hooks points out, these aren’t natural or fixed roles, they’re learned. Men can unlearn the idea that vulnerability makes them weak, and women can begin to feel safe offering connection when boundaries are truly respected.

Your question about why it’s not equally free on both sides is a good one, and I’d offer this: when we live in a world where women feel safe and men feel allowed to need, the whole exchange might look very different.

DaveLaughs

Yup, everything that can be said about it has been said.

There’s the (consenting) Trading something for something.

Boundaries, preferences; people generally feeling safer with women, whether Pro/Client, or Enthusiast

If there were a demand, For sure I would accept money to provide Platonic cuddles.

As of now, If I went Pro it’d be basically throwing $20/mo down the drain for nothing.

It's really pretty simple. Male pros make no money. Women get buried in offers to cuddle for free, they have no need to pay for it. If there was a market for male pros, my guess is a lot of guys here would turn pro. You'd be getting paid to do something you wanted to do anyway.

disneysamurai

I’m sure there’s some male pros on this site who make a killing, not sure who, but it’s like what everyone else said - it’s a supply and demand issue.

jmdank

@disneysamurai I think that is very doubtful, I've seen a few attractive men looking for clients, not often but occasionally, I don't think they're very successful.

@disneysamurai I've never seen one say he was making money at this. I have heard of a few who tried to use their pro status to get free cuddles from female pros. They got banned.

Adento

Men don’t often feel comfortable interacting with other men in close ways. The (often valid) perception of physical closeness with men is that it is sexual. This creates a barrier to human contact which we all need.

What a pro offers for pay is creating that space and taking the risk she finds acceptable, so the guy can get closeness and human contact which is difficult to achieve in everyday life.

Katota

It's always another reason they're here.

@cde123 Oh do tell...What is the "other" reason? 🤔

Katota

Women are often socialized to guard their emotional energy and physical closeness because they’re so often taken advantage of when they offer it freely. Men, on the other hand, are often starved for platonic touch and closeness because they’ve been taught to suppress emotional need unless it’s sexualized or hidden.

@PeopleLikeUs 😁👍

Katota

Men can unlearn the idea that vulnerability makes them weak, and women can begin to feel safe offering connection when boundaries are truly respected.

@PeopleLikeUs 👍👍👍👍