{{~* A message for whoever, whenever, wherever. 💞
This section has been added to summarize that I have returned after a mental health hiatus and I am NOW ACCEPTING clients and cuddle sessions past August 20th, 2025.
This read isn't necessary, but it does give valuable insight about who and why I am the way that I am. The world today is an extremely difficult time to live in. Especially for myself, and others like me, being Mexican AND a Trans-woman hasn't been easy.
We all deserve peace, grace, compassion and understanding. In a country that's become so divided in a short few months, it's more important now than ever that we have our support structures to lean on. As an ex-highly independent individual, attempting to take the world alone is almost an IMPOSSIBLE task.
Let's continue to connect. I do sincerely apologize for being away and for those that have been patiently waiting or helped me out during a tough time, you haven't been forgotten. In return for the patience, messages, and help you will be given an 1x "Pampered for the Day" session. This IS NOT a typical cuddle session.
What does that mean? Well only those that have messaged and waited patiently will get to know. ((As always, it is consensual and details will always be worked out prior to the session to avoid confusion.))
Ultimately, it's up to US, The People, to create a better world for ourselves. When it comes down to "our lives are being taken" will we sit in silence or will we take a stand and fight off the hate and oppression? *~}}
⚠️ Vent;TW: ⚠️
Mentions of depression, abuse, SH and SI.
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My life has been in shambles for the past couple of years and I've been trying to manage it even through my current, struggles/issues. I've traveled a lot of my own journey completely alone and lately it's all been catching up to me.
Why have I been so inactive lately? Why have I not been replying to messages? Where have I been? What's been going on?
This post took MONTHS to type. Unfortunately, I don't have a therapist but I have always used the internet as a place to be and express myself for ages. I was isolated my whole life and growing up I never had autonomy of any kind.
This led to me developing extremely bad social anxiety, anger issues, depression, loneliness and eventually SH/SI. Along with being AuDHD and BPD like a MF. I've spent enough time alone and by myself to know what's genuinely wrong with me and what I do and don't have.
My mental health is absolutely terrible as of lately. Being unmedicated is difficult and not having an official medical history of any kind doesn't help. Having my HRT taken away has definitely affected my mental health and not having mental health meds is beginning to send me in an extremely bad downward spiral.
I've never been a bad person and I never go out to start drama. Regardless of those facts, I've always been messed with since elementary. Rumors started by parents, being emotionally played with, getting jumped, being raped, people blackmailing me for being trans, physically and emotionally abused, and being shot at, among a whole bunch of other life events that y'all don't know.
I'm currently 28 (going on 29) , I left my home state at 17 and have been in NOLA for nearly a decade. Half of my life I spent in a tiny community and the other half in a city where I could be myself.
There is nothing in this world that I wouldn't do for those in need. They will ALWAYS receive the best of me as possible. I've worked for the state, held shelters open during hurricane season, coached teams, helped with hurricane cleanup, giving food away to the unhoused.
All I've ever done is give and do for others, so much so that I'm terrified that everyone hates me regardless of what I do now.
I don't want to feel like this in a place where I spent the better half of my life learning to love and be myself. I've lived from Kenner to the 9th out to Terrrytown on the WB. I've traveled this entire state, from North LA all the way down to the coast.
There's no other place I would call home for 10 years now. In those ten years I have NEVER had a single problem with anyone until I began to put myself out there. Once that happened it's been a trickle and downfall of losing everything, including myself.
There haven't been many posts since June and before that it was weeks. If you've talked to me before you've probably realized that I am online A LOT!!! But as of lately I've backed off the internet to get a hold of myself and life.
I don't really say much about myself, so here's a bit about my recent past:
A majority of my issues come from my break after Vegas. I abandoned actual friends that genuinely cared about me for the wrong ones and it ended up causing me to lose EVERYTHING!!!
I was taken advantage of by people. I lost my own place I was staying at, my polycule was sabotaged, that was the beginning of me no longer having my own transportation, no longer having a phone of my own, no income of any kind. No connections for myself. Nothing. It was all gone in a matter of months after working my ass off for fucking YEARS!!!!
These individuals NEVER helped me in return. Simply took my time, energy, and resources, then dropped me. I lost EVERYTHING because everyone wanted what I had.
The LGBTQIA+ community is quite small here. It seems like everyone knows everyone and if you're "no one" it becomes difficult to connect with the rest of the community locally. Does it matter to anyone? I'm beginning to feel as if it doesn't.
People will make up a whole story about you and your personality based on one poor experience they've had or project their own pasts unknowingly. Without ever being around or getting to know you, silently judging while putting on a friendly face.
There's an issue here with keeping around problematic people with a tracklist and out casting new people for no good reason. This has been creating lonely individuals feeling like they "don't belong" here.
I've had troubles in the past with people talking badly about me cause they didn't like my partner. I'm sorry that you can't separate people from each other, but don't make me the villain when I barely know y'all and vice versa. Being solo poly has taught me not to group everyone together it's unfair to the rest of the individuals.
To be honest it seems that it's a common thing here. Whatever happened to taking your time to know people??? I have been home for MONTHS on end now cause I see how y'all treat outsiders and how quick you are to judge. It seems to me that people just want copies of themselves.
I'm an extremely quiet person. I rarely go out cause I'm traumatized and depressed like no other. The looks and glares I get from people are definitely not friendly. They've been judgemental from the start. It's extremely sad that I no longer feel safe, wanted, or comfortable in a community that I am a part of.
Having my transportation essentially taken from me has affected my mental health IMMENSELY. I feel stranded most times and I hate asking others to bring me to places since everyone wants something in return. My looks were a daily for me and now I barely have the energy to get out of bed or even change clothes. I haven't talked or gone out with anyone. No invites and almost no check ins.
Mentally and physically, I am in agonizing pain. A treacherous path that must be walked cautiously. I'll end up getting hurt/losing all over again if I'm not careful. I don't have the time or energy for that anymore.
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