How to weed out the ones who seem to be looking for "other things" or more!?

Ash362536

So I seem to be getting a lot of messages from various people who seem to me like maybe they're interested in something besides cuddling! I could be being a little paranoid, but I don't want to find myself in a position to where I'm on a bad end of a really bad session so anybody have any hints on what to do to weed it out without losing the clients all together

disneysamurai

There’s no perfect method but I would set that boundary well ahead of time as well as check profiles and karma.

mauvefox

You are not being paranoid. You definitely are getting messages from people who will push outside the terms of service.
Set boundaries early. When in doubt click the report button.
You’re still new here so there will be a frenzy at the start. Then it will get a little better. But it will still happen.
If they’re “joking” about something, it’s probably not a joke.

Carrie_Anne

Great advice above. Especially if they say they were just joking. They’re not joking.

Auroradream

I always ask where they heard of CC and pay close attention to the answer. I also casually include the word Platonic (yes, capitalized) in one of the early message exchanges. it's easy if their messages drop off after seeing the word. There are many topics in the Pro forum that can help.

Auroradream

@Ash362536 I took a look at your profile and I hope you don't mind me commenting that you could include more about platonic cuddles or what you offer as a cuddle provider. Best of luck 👍🏻

xonatassia_taj

In my experience, clients looking for non-platonic services often show the same red flags. Typically, they:

• Skip introducing themselves.
• Don’t share even a brief description about who they are (so you know who you’ll actually be meeting).
• Lead with comments about your physical appearance, usually in a flirtatious way.
• Have no photos or bio on their profile. (Reminder: having karma doesn’t automatically mean they’re here for the right reasons.)
• Ask questions like “What do you normally wear during a session?” or “What are your sessions like?”
• Request specific clothing, especially shorts or tank tops, to make it easier for them to cross boundaries.
• Ask if “skin to skin” is allowed. 🤦🏻‍♀️
• Push for extra pictures of you.
• Ask about your negative cuddle experiences to figure out your boundaries.
• Fail to check in during sessions to see if you’re comfortable.
• Ask if you can get on top of them or try to cuddle in boxers (major creep alert).
• Flood your phone with texts throughout the day when you already have a session scheduled, just to keep casual contact.*

Protect yourself: always share your location with a trusted friend, let them know how long the session is scheduled for, and share a photo of who you’re meeting. Have your friend check in when the time’s up or update them if you’re extending the session. It’s even better to check in while the client can hear and see you on the phone, so there’s no doubt that someone else knows where you are.

Be safe and always trust your gut. If something feels off, do not meet with them. There are plenty of respectful clients on here that truly mean well and are on here for the right reasons. I hope this helps others stay safe and filter out the people who don’t respect your body or your boundaries.

zoeloveshugs

I think having a ph chat prior to meeting is a better way to gage as there are often social miscues in texts/emails.

I make a point of reiterating there is no sex, nudity, touching of the genitals or kissing. It’s also important to meet someone new prior to cuddling publicly first.

If you’re unsure during a ph chat, let the person know “ I’m not getting the rt vibes from you.” How they respond says a lot! Little nuances speak volumes!

xonatassia_taj

**@Etherealhealing ** 🤍

Katota

I agree with @Auroradream, definitely add PLATONIC to your profile info.😊
When I first joined, I long decided to add PLATONIC CUDDLE to my profile info to show how serious I am that PLATONIC CUDDLING is all that I am here for.😑

NatsWarmEmbrace

For me anyone who asks if I’m “open minded” mentions my appearance, or asks what I will wear, already weed themselves out before doing a phone call. During an intro call I go over not touching in the bathing suit regions, armpits, and face. I mention what I will wear and tell them what they are allowed to wear and must have on boxers or briefs under the shorts or pants. 100% of the time after a call they will either ghost, mention I’m “too strict” or will say something in the call that will let me know they are not looking for platonic. Having a call really helps a lot but hopefully looking for some of the coded language mentioned before a call can help weed some out as well. Stay safe !

Also try not to do a lot if at all repeats. I find they start to get feelings and think it’s appropriate to think we may possibly date in the future. Having one maybe two sessions seems to curb that unrealistic expectations or behaviors. And try not engage in conversations or texting outside of trying to set a session up.

TenderEmbraces

Trust your instincts. If they want to text off-site they are looking to have a conversation that they can't post here. 🚩

beaubliss

Great thread @Ash362536, thanks! Discussions on this subject are SO important, and need to be a safe place for alternative views

In that spirit, I will go on record as disagreeing with much that has been said thus far. The TOS already spell out that booking cuddling on CC is always Platonic. Emphasizing that in your profile will not dissuade those looking for "more"; many that are looking for "more" don't even read the profile carefully. In addition, it brings forward fearful energy, and constant suspicion. Now granted, many of my friends on CC report back that 80% of their clients, specifically first-timers, want to have them disrobe, do more "skin-on-skin", etc.....yes, 4 out of 5! So, with that in mind, @zoeloveshugs brings forth an important suggestion: vet your clients with a phone call and, if possible, a public meeting or video chat. You can intuit far more than you can through simple messaging or texting.

That being said, you may still meet with a large % who want "more".....so the real understanding may be surrounding what you do with that energy. Do you feel equipped to be able to provide what you want to in a cuddle session, all the while knowing that your client(s) may want more? If not, then I would probably suggest reconsidering being a pro cuddler, or do so quite part-time with those you have vetted so well that you are reasonably certain boundaries will not be pushed.

If you recognize that much of your work may fall under the redirecting of energy, and you can develop non-shaming strategies to do so, then you may learn to embrace this work......and possibly even focus on helping men to understand the burden their desires have on women. They may even agree to have sessions where you help to guide them away from their uninvited advances....to a focus on an experience of their desires lessening, giving in to heart-sharing conversation, becoming aware of what touch is too enlivening, and what kind of touch doesn't activate those desires. You can also plant the seed that if they are truly looking forward to welcoming a deep connection with someone in the future, they really need to learn how to connect through recognition of the other, not with a focus on their desires being met by a woman they objectify.

In that spirit, I also want to bring a different perspective than @WarmEmbraceNat ......I always recommend developing a clientele of around 80% repeats. The development of connections over time can be so rewarding for all parties; fear of developing feelings, and wanting a deeper relationship, while understandable, is just so limiting. Sure, closeness can happen; they certainly do with talk therapists too, and yes, sometimes boundaries are breached. But on the positive side, you can make such a powerful difference in someone's life.....and continued work can be such a balm in a client's world, and can be quite effective in bringing forth change. Deep connections are what we are all looking for, we just need to find pathways to make them appropriate for the situation.

KuddlyKoala

1. Pay attention to if they're calling you intimate pet names like "baby" and "babe".
2. I always like to start a conversation by asking "What are you looking for from a cuddle session?" If the response is like "Cuddling, duh🙄" or they bring up their lacking sexual intimacy with a partner🚩
3. Make sure your profile shows EXACTLY the type of interaction you're looking for! I think mine is a decent example.
4. If they mention "outfit requests". Just no.
5. Check their Karma. The green flag wording I look for specifically(because some pros lie, can't prevent that) is about feeling SAFE, comfortable, and respected.
6. Cleavage/thirst trap photos are just asking for trouble in this field.
7. Tell people when you are uncomfortable with a certain type of joke/topic. If they're a bad egg, they'll Just remove themselves.