Has anyone had cuddlers that attempt to stop paying you because you develop a friendship?
Are you kidding?!? This happens quite often....pros need business training in this area.
First, one must understand their client....and all are different. Sure, one may conclude that most men want "more", but I'm not talking about that "more". There is another "more" that many pros are unprepared, and untrained, for; that is, the connection missing in their life. This connection is a deep emotional need, and the older one gets, the more evident the significance of that element is......and when it is missing, as it is for many, then even hints of its possibility reverberate quite powerfully.
Thus, the talented cuddle pro learns to hold space for that missing element, creating a sense of connection while at the same time bringing affectionate touch. Quite an irresistible combination. When a client reflects upon such experiences, and finds the paradox of transaction/connection uncomfortable, they think the only way to reduce this cognitive dissonance is to remove the transaction. Does that make sense @ArtsyHarmony?
Thus, the cuddle pro needs to develop strategies, many of which will be unique to each client, that will clarify the connection. There are several to consider, but I think the best starting point is to discuss at the end of a beautiful connected session the paradox. Language is important, and different words will be more/less effective with different clients. Something along the lines of "I really feel and appreciate how sweetly we connect, and I hope you can continue to be both my friend and my client".....then get a sense of how that sits with him. By bringing the clarity early on, you can intuit how the transactional element fits. If you perceive that it's feeling awkward, it may not work to keep seeing him.
It's an important topic that needs much more reflection and articulation....and success stories shared, as well as failure stories.
What @beaubliss said.
It can be helpful, when thinking and talking about this, to turn the situation on its head. Imagine you have an existing friend who is a plumber, and you need a bit of plumbing done. If you asked your friend to do it you would of course pay them. It might be a different rate, it might be in terms of a reciprocal favour or something else, but you would never expect somebody to do their job for nothing.
It's also worth remembering that in most cases in our society, friends do not cuddle. Cuddling is usually a family or partner matter.
As a client, I have been through this with a number of professionals. The outcomes varied considerably but were always happy. (I've also been through it as an advisor to professionals.) In one case I still pay as before. In another we went through a phase of reciprocal cuddle sessions: sometimes she acted as professional as usual, but sometimes I took the role of professional and gave her a session. In another she felt that I'd given her so much help and advice that she felt she should be paying me: I settled for free cuddles. As always, it's all about communication. And remembering that the only thing you are entitled to in this world is to die alone, cold and hungry: everything else is a bonus.
I still operate on the feudal system. As the lord of my manor I expect fealty, especially during harvest season. Most pros understand this when I explain it to them after I pay.
Do you also insist on prima nocta?
😆
It’s an option but I am picky.
Prima nocta. 🤣🤣🤣