Has anyone used this as a means for testing/ expanding their comfort zone?

[Deleted User]TheCobaltKnight (deleted user)
in General

I find myself pulling away from human touch a lot and some of my close friends said that I am touch starved. Which is why I am here, but it also got me thinking, has anyone used this as a way to do things like become affectionate with those of the gender or orientation that they aren't familiar with?

  1. Have you?34 votes
    1. Yes
      38.24%
    2. no
      41.18%
    3. its complicated
      20.59%

Comments

  • [Deleted User]nateistired (deleted user)

    That's the exact reason I joined haha. It worked out well for me!

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    Yes, it's quite common. There is no shortage of clients who are survivors of touch-related trauma, and are trying to get used to the idea again.

  • KatotaKatota
    edited December 2025

    has anyone used this as a way to do things like become affectionate with those of the gender or orientation that they aren't familiar with?

    Yep, had one guy say to me through this site...

    And I quote: "I want to know what it's like to cuddle with a black woman"

    I declined to cuddle with him, and I regret nothing.
    😁👍

  • MindTherapyMindTherapy

    @Katota omg I had a similar situation except mine said this in the midst of a cuddle session and fluffed my hair. Sir, I’m a human being not a stuffed animal 🙄

  • KatotaKatota
    edited December 2025

    @POETIC_TRUTHS Wow! 😲

    Sorry that happened to you while cuddling, yeah when I WAS on dating sites I got the same kind of crap in my inbox...😩😒

    Lol! 🤣

    Every time I even consider POSSIBLY rejoining a dating site, I just close my eyes and recall the 😱Dudebro horrors of my inbox while being on them previously 😱...Shake my head NO 🙂‍↔️ and go do something else productive with my life!
    😄👍

  • btc13btc13

    @Katota @POETIC_TRUTHS Makes you wonder what exactly they thought would be different from cuddling any other woman. Lol.

  • KatotaKatota

    @btc13 Well I believe their "thought pattern" is a cross between racism and OVER expecting some "sexualize stereotypical delusion" to happen while cuddling with a woman whose skin tone happens to be darker then theirs. 😏

    Like I said, I don't regret rejecting to cuddle with humans like that. 😁👍

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I would say my cuddle experimentation with a wombat was a success.

  • great_pillow08great_pillow08

    I left an abusive relationship right before I found this site for THAT EXACT reason. I needed to learn that it was perfectly normal to want to be touched, but I needed it to be under NO expectations of more. I was REALLY nervous, and extremely jumpy. "Getting settled" took me quite a bit of time, but when you meet the right souls and everything just "clicks", it gets easier with each experience. Give yourself some grace though! I applaud you for having the strength and courage to even acknowledge your need, much less to act on it!! hugs and prayers

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @great_pillow08 I remember those days. You have come a long way.

  • great_pillow08great_pillow08

    @TheFunCartel - Y-O-U DEFINITELY SHOULD!! YOU taught me that it's okay to be the "little spoon" because you made me feel safe and I'll NEVER forget Y-O-U for that!!! 💝

  • KatotaKatota

    I would say my cuddle experimentation with a wombat was a success.

    😱😱😱😱

    @TheFunCartel I'm jealous, you get to cuddle with a wombat...😏

    I have yet to find a werewolf to trust me enough to cuddle with.Lol 😆

  • HuggycatbearHuggycatbear
    edited December 2025

    @great_pillow08 Wow that melted my heart to hear this. I'm so glad that this has become part of your healing journey.

    There's a lot of gender on gender talk on these forums. But it's easy to forget that so many great connections are also made cuddling with the other gender. And without the romantic impulses, expectations, and drama, it has evolved some of my ongoing connections in a direction that labels can't contain. Not even my close friends have been a better sounding board.

    It really is magical to not have to wear the mask and be vulnerable with the other gender, and know you are seen, safe, and even remembered.

    Happy healing into 2026!

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