Asking Guidance

WR9966WR9966
in General

To make along story short, scheduled a 3 hour cuddle session at my place with an out of state provider who was at a local airport. I live about 45 minutes away from the airport. She showed up 4 hours late (scheduled for 5pm and she shows up at 9pm) - after - asking me to help her get a rental car as she didn't want me to pay for an Uber (even though the Uber would have been much cheaper - some crazy fear of Ubers).

So I send the money for the car, she shows up 4 hours late. For the first hour she talks non-stop about how crazy her past few days have been with this, that, and the other thing. And I mean talks non-stop. I finally get her to start the cuddle session around 10pm. Then as we are starting she says she is trying to get a midnight flight back out to her home city. WTF - that means you need to leave around 11pm to get to the airport on time.

So we cuddle for about an hour, again with her talking non-stop and me saying several times that I enjoy a nice quiet cuddle - so zero points for listening to your partner - and when it's time to leave she expects payment for the full 3 hours. I balked given at best it was only 2 hours, and really only 1 as she talked for an hour straight with me trying to get her to start the cuddle AND, where an Uber would have been around $120, she would only use a rental car and that ended up costing me $200.

I should have canceled due to her being 4 hours late, and then wanting car rental money, but I didn't. So, as the saying goes, am I being an asshole for not paying the full 3 hour rate since she didn't stay for 3 hours - and what would be considered a fair rate in this situation - 1 hour (since that is what we actually cuddled) or 2 hours given that I was forced to listen to her tripping for an hour talking non-stop before cuddling for an hour and again listening to her talk non-stop for another hour.

And then lastly, do I have grace and not leave a poor KARMA, or risk her doing a retaliatory KARMA, if I don't round up her donation as I only paid her a partial amount (which I felt was fair given the situation).

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Comments

  • HappyHikesHappyHikes

    If this happened to me ... I would write truthful karma.

  • CuddlesofcuddleCuddlesofcuddle

    Gosh that sounds like a flippin nightmare. Next time pleaseeee just cancel! You had every right to cancel and avoid everything 😔 don't EVER put yourself in this position again my friend.
    I'd stick with communicating with her. Maybe a piece of her humanity will come into play ▶️ 🤔 🧠
    She shouldn't expect 3 hr cuddle payment after you getting her a rental plus not having a quiet peaceful cuddle. You did more than enough. My goodness 😳
    If you receive retaliation karma maybe see if it can be appealed??
    Good luck sir
    Sending a hug your way!

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    It should have ended when she asked for a car rental. If you put the rental on your credit card you are the one responsible if she totaled the car while driving around in the eyes of the rental company. Forget the cuddle, renting a car for a complete stranger is foolhardy.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    Wow I'm sorry you had to deal with that. She showed up late and she decided to leave early ... You don't owe her anything. And I agree with @TheFunCartel I would never trust renting a car for a stranger, let alone half the people I know personally. Hopefully that's something you just sent money for and didn't out on your card. If she was to write a retaliation karma you have the opportunity to respond under it. Sorry you had such a crummy experience.

  • WR9966WR9966

    The cost of the rental was sent by Cash app. As she had a lot of positive recent karma, I took a chance. And agree, would not have used my card because a one day rental could have turned into a month or god knows what.

    And agree, I should have canceled but she had shared that multiple scheduled sessions cancel short notice and I didn't want to be lumped in with those cuddlers.

    Ty for your thoughts

  • HuggycatbearHuggycatbear
    edited January 2

    A lot of good people face these situations. There's a lot of gender on gender talk on these forums. But truly it's a lot of good people on both sides get taken advantage of in spaces like this, plain and simple. And good people tend to take in all points-of-view, and oftentimes they sacrifice their own space and justice for the other point-of-view.

    I know what you're thinking: she has a lot of good karma. One black mark might ruin her whole line of business. Or she is going to say something horrendous about you. Villainize you.

    Go back and observe and process what happened so you can take the proper steps to not only protect yourself but others as well.

    Look at how clearly you spoke about it here. Her other good karma might be from more people who got used by her and were afraid of retalliation.

    She derserves bad karma.

    What she did to you was agregious. She might have had a bad time getting to you. But no way is it her right to pass that on to you. Not only did it sap your resources, but it has left you with this trauma for the future.

  • disneysamuraidisneysamurai

    Well at least you have an interesting story to tell

    Does sound terrible though. And no you’re not being an asshole. In fact, most people would have cancelled or at least rescheduled. Your time is valuable, and you agreed on terms beforehand. I get things come up or traffic is bad, etc. but it’s on the pro to communicate that with you. It doesn’t sound like there was a major emergency here either to warrant being 4 hours late, at least from what you’re saying here.

  • Suzie_QSuzie_Q

    Be honest on the karma and report her, it will save others the trouble of going through the same thing.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    The cost of the rental was sent by Cash app

    @WR9966 ok, it sounds like she is trying to use you like an ATM. Most pros are golden and do their level best and are honest. But there is a small group who are only their to wring the most cash they can out of you with the least amount of effort. You just met one. The rental car was the sign to her that you were desperate to cuddle and she took advantage. She deserves whatever bad karma you leave.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited January 2

    She could have very well not even needed a rental car and was using that as something to try to get you to send money for and pocket it, and I also doubt she's flying in and then right back out again at midnight just for a cuddle session that makes no logical sense, was likely saying that as an excuse to bail . Did you also pay for that ? I'm sorry that happened to you and I realize you like many others on here are probably pretty touch deprived and eager for interaction, my only thing I'll say to that is to try to not let that override common sense and logic. It makes you an easy target to be taken advantage of.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    What a horrible experience! She sounds like some version of a scammer. I have to wonder about the karma she has. I would leave a brutally honest karma for her, even report all of this to the mods though I don’t know if it’s considered a ban-able offense? But it would at least put her on their radar.
    Not much you can do about the $$ lost, I hope you didn’t pay for 3 hours. And someone above doubted she flew in for a cuddle and then returned home just after? Maybe she was on another cuddle during the 4 hours she was late. I’d check for recent karma to see if another client cuddled with her just before you!

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    That sounds horrible. I’m sorry that happened. I hope you reported her to the mods if you didn’t leave karma.

  • MorpheusMorpheus
    edited January 4

    …

  • MucStefanMucStefan

    I would leave a karma, but really really stick to the plain facts:

    • she required you to pay a rental-car, which was not pre-agreed upon
    • she arrived 4 hours late
    • she wanted to be paid for 3 hours, but you cuddled only 1

    Leave it to others to read between the lines - but with this she has nothing to argue on, because these are the facts.
    You can mention that she talked too much, but that would be open to interpretation what "too much" is - although if someone reads your profile, it's not difficult to figure out you might rather enjoy silent cuddles.

  • DaveLaughsDaveLaughs

    That is vicious.

    Yes she deserves bad karma.

  • JubalJubal

    4 hours late would be a hard pass from me - I would much rather cancel and reschedule if I thought she was genuinely having difficulties that day (and I have had some like this, where our rescheduled meet went well).

    As with so many other threads in the forums here - learn to be assertive and be comfortable saying "no" to unreasonable requests. There is nothing reasonable about a pro expecting to be paid for 3 hours of time if you're only getting one or two hours. Also a bad idea to prepay a large amount of money for a rental car unless she has alot of karma or you've otherwise vetted her in some way.

    Yes, leave negative feedback, just be sure it's truthful and factual - worst that can happen is the mods remove it.

  • SqueezeBuddySqueezeBuddy

    Only meet locals, not out of state people.

  • wilderdudewilderdude

    She sounds like a sex worker to me. She was expecting the visit to be quick and to the point. Does not come across as cuddler behavior.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne
    edited January 5

    If this pro has behaved like this more than once, it’s more than an accidental innocent issue with time management. I have to wonder what she was doing during the 4 missing hours? It all seems very flaky and scammer-ish behavior but who knows. I think it’s worth reporting and a brutally honest karma.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I am sure she used the four hours and the hypothetical rental car to get to another appointment who probably paid for her food and lodging.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I think this is a predatory pro who senses the desperation on some guys. Just as the ladies do with guys, if anything comes up that is out of the ordinary or has you questioning their requests or actions…just walk. Disengage or block the pro. If enough guys did that she would move on to something more productive for herself. Do not allow yourself to be a victim because of your own desperation. I keep in mind that people rarely live up to the hype I create in my mind so I no longer have an issue with saying no or disengaging with a potential scammer.

  • great_pillow08great_pillow08
    edited January 5

    @WR9966 - NEVER rent a stranger a vehicle! That's a financial firestorm waiting to happen!
    @TheFunCartel - If you're in town and need a ride- I'll come get you MYSELF!! 😉

  • WR9966WR9966

    @great_pillow08 I hear you. Didn't rent it just sent her money to cover the cost. Lots of being too nice and kind on my side. Now discussing issues with admins.

  • WR9966WR9966

    @Carrie_Anne had someone else contact me that had a semi similar experience with this same person. Not the begging for money for a rental, but being hours and hours late. And dealing with the nonstop jibber jabber. Unfortunately that person did the same as I and gave the benefit of the doubt rather than leaving poor karma.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @WR9966
    I totally understand, we all want to believe the best from others. If we’re in the habit of treating them just naturally with kindness & respect because we’re that way ourselves, then it’s kind of a shock to learn the hard way that not everyone does. I know that sounds like basic common sense but sometimes we’re still surprised when it happens.
    I just call it another learning experience or - Today I Learned. And I definitely have learned to manage my expectations.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    I’ve been on the fence whether I was going to share this or not but the pro in questions has been banned so I’ll go ahead and share. When I first read the OP in this thread, I thought, this sounds very familiar. I had a similar experience and thought, there’s no way this was the same pro. I asked the OP privately and sure enough, same pro.

    I had a session with her when I was out of town on business. We had scheduled for 7pm. I tried to get a hold of her earlier that day and nothing. I thought she was going to ghost. She eventually did get a hold of me close to the session time saying she was running late. The text messages kept coming and she was later with every text. She asked if I could reschedule and I told her that I was leaving the next day. I said we could cancel but she insisted on keeping the session. I probably should have cancelled but I figured I wouldn’t be able to see her again since I was out of town so I kept the appointment. She ended up arriving at 11pm so 4 hours late. Every excuse with each text seemed more and more unbelievable but I decided I would give her the benefit of the doubt. Things happen.

    When she arrived, she stood at the entry way of the hotel room and talked non stop for around 30 minutes. I kept thinking, are we ever going to cuddle. She absolutely didn’t listening to anything I said, she just kept talking. She finally got on the bed and started cuddling but again, she never stopped talking. She made a couple of comments about how she was low on money and didn’t want to be cuddling, she said something about not wanting all these creepy guys touching her.

    I paid for an hour but from the time we actually started cuddling, we cuddled for 2 hours. I assumed she stayed an extra hour for free because she was late and I thought that was a nice gesture. Truthfully though, I think she was so caught up in talking that she just lost track of time. I literally felt like just asking her to leave a couple of times.

    She text me several times after the session and was very polite and expressed gratitude for me listening to her when she was having a tough day. I thought, ok, maybe she really just had a bad day and maybe I did a good thing by hearing her out. I never reported her or left bad karma because despite it all, I don’t thing she wronged me nor do I think there was a reportable offense. She was late, that was lame, she talked too much, that was annoying.

  • TxTomTxTom

    I never reported her or left bad karma

    Neither would I have, @Morpheus.

    My Pros have all had very soothing voices and listening to them helps me relax.

  • WestsideMarcWestsideMarc

    Man oh man and I thought that I had some of the worst experiences here but that one tops it all! So how much did this cost you all in I’m afraid to ask!

    Stand your ground my friend!

  • biancalovecraftbiancalovecraft

    This is crazy 😅🍿

  • mimiloveshugs2mimiloveshugs2

    Sounds kind of scammy. At minimum, it doesn’t sound like she has consideration of other people’s time. Did she say why she was so late?

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