No hello… just a booking request? Cuddlers & clients what’s your take

shecuddlessshecuddless
in Pro Cuddling

Okay sooo I’ve been noticing something lately and I’m genuinely curious what other people think about it……

Sometimes someone will send a booking request with zero conversation beforehand. No hello… no introduction… no little back and forth… just straight to requesting a session.

So this is kind of a dual question for two groups.

First… professional cuddlers

When someone books with you immediately as the first contact… what thoughts run through your mind?

Do you ever think hmm… is this a scam?
Does it throw you off a little?
Do you prefer at least a little conversation first just to feel the person out?
Or do you see it as totally normal… like okay they know what they want and they’re just booking it…..

I’ll be honest… sometimes it weirdly offends me a little bit… and I’m not even sure why lol……

Maybe because cuddling feels a little personal to me… so my brain expects at least a tiny moment of connection first… I don’t know……

And now for the cuddle enthusiasts and clients

What’s your perspective on this?

Are you the type of person who might book immediately without chatting first?

If so what’s going through your mind when you do that……

Are you just being efficient?
Are you shy and skipping the small talk?
Do you assume the profile already tells you everything you need to know so you just go for it……

I’m genuinely curious how people think about this because cuddling is such a unique space where comfort… safety… and connection matter.

So I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts… both cuddlers and clients.

No right or wrong answers here…… just curiosity 🤍

  1. Totally normal… if I know I want the session I’ll just book it and figure out the details later100 votes
    1. I personally feel cuddling is a little personal… so some kind of connection beforehand feels nicer
      76.00%
    2. never thought about it before… booking immediately just seems efficient
      16.00%
    3. Other
        8.00%
«13

Comments

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    I would never book a Pro without getting to know them, first.

    A lot of Pro's have stated a strong distaste for "timewasters" and they simply want a booking request and no chit-chat. I think it's crazy, but I choose not to be a Pro and I've only decided to be a client on one occasion. le shrug Money certainly affects peoples' approaches, that's all I can say.

    As an enthusiast who almost exclusively cuddles other enthusiasts, I like to get to know people and form friendships.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🫂 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Junkie 📷 Shutter Bug

  • montague8282montague8282

    When looking at a Pro account, there are no options to just send a message. There's only a button for requesting a booking.

  • tacpmurgtacpmurg
    edited March 3

    ^ this is the most annoying aspect of the site. I understand why its done this way, but it is quite annoying.

    The main reason is because we havent committed to a time and date and duration yet.. but I have to select all of that before I even converse with you.

    I always just select 1h.. which I assume turns some pros away from responding

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    I hate how it is set up because it is very deceiving.
    @montague8282 you actually can hit the button to set up without setting up a request and then scroll a lil bit and just send a message.

    @shecuddless your account is set to mute so no one is able to send you a message ....only send a request.

    As a pro I absolutely hate when someone sends a request immediately and it happens more and more often. But after a client recently showed me how the site is set up ....they thought you had to send a request to be able to chat.
    When I get a request right away, I reply and chat them up first.

  • tacpmurgtacpmurg

    @MeltMyWay Thanks for the tip, it seriously makes it seem like you HAVE to set one up to talk

    Site owners should really make that more clear

  • montague8282montague8282

    @MeltMyWay, yeah that's not very intuitive at all. Thanks for the tip. Now I wonder if I had scared people away.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    @tacpmurg I know right... it's an awful feature

    @montague8282 honestly I was very turned away by it happening until someone pointing it out to me why. You can always go back and message people (and even send them a link to this discussion) if it's really bothering you .... Or just know now moving forward.

  • shecuddlessshecuddless

    @montague8282 I didn’t realize there wasn’t really an option to just send a message first. I always assumed people were choosing to go straight to booking… not that the platform kind of pushes it that way.
    Which explains a lot & gives me some relief because sometimes my brain goes straight to hmm… this feels weird or scammy. SoThanks for explaining that.

    @tacpmurg yeah this part is the most confusing on my end sometimes… because I’ll see a request come through with a specific time and I’m thinking wait… when did we coordinate this? 😅

    But knowing you have to select a time, date, and duration just to start talking makes a lot more sense now.

    I’m realizing that’s probably why I see people put 1 hour sometimes… just to open the conversation.

    Thanks things up for me a lot.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    @shecuddles you don't have to normally you can scroll down a bit and send a message but your profile says it is set to mute

  • shecuddlessshecuddless

    @MeltMyWay oh I actually wish that were the case 😅 I only recently muted my account, and this has happened even before it was muted.

    Interestingly it’s never actually happened while in muted mode which is kind of funny. So now I’m thinking it might just be a feature of the site that’s confusing for some members.

  • montague8282montague8282

    On another note, many pros will specifically state in their profile something like "when you message me please send dates and times and your expectations" so I think people see enough of those and think that's what they're supposed to do for everyone.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    @montague8282 it would not bother me if someone sent a message saying hello good morning etc and then asked about a day or time.
    But I used to think it was awfully presumptuous to just straight up send a proposal with out discussing anything. Again since I learned how the messaging is not very user friendly when messaging a pro, I changed my expectations and now just engage a conversation myself if I receive a request with no message

  • Jason1689Jason1689

    For cuddling an enthusiast, than yes getting to know that person beforehand is essential.

    But for Pro's, it's purely transactional. They're here to make money. So just a booking request is fine imo.

  • shecuddlessshecuddless

    @montague8282
    yeah that actually makes a lot of sense. I could definitely see how people would assume that’s the normal way to start if they’re seeing it on a lot of profiles.

    Thank you for pointing that out… you honestly opened my mind a little with that. I was starting to feel like a chilli pepper for a second over it 😅 so I’m really glad I came here first before letting my brain run with it.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    @Jason1689 I would strongly disagree. It's not so transactional that it's the same as ordering doordash

    As a pro I know several, myself included, that want to get to know our clients, at the very least receive a hello or good morning or a comment about our profile so we know you read it, like to get to know what their cuddle style is, have some pleasantries exchanged, etc... it helps to make us more comfortable and a better experience for both parties. We are not obligated to take just any client that sends a request, so it does help to reach out and say hello first.

  • BrandiBrandi

    Personally never just accept a booking request as a pro. Especially with no profile filled out which seems to be the case with immediate booking requests like that. Plus a lot of the times I’m not available at a moments notice so even if I wanted to accept those I normally can’t and figuring out a good day and time with some back and forth chats is definitely ideal.
    I don’t need to be full on pen pals with someone before booking, and have also had people want to never book but only chat and that’s unfortunate too because my cuddle time is limited. but a hello and an idea of how to best help me understand what they are looking for out of the cuddle session(music, movies, chats, etc) is very helpful for me. if someone has all that info on their profile, then a hello and introduction is great and then asking when I’d be available would be the best 🙌

  • shecuddlessshecuddless

    @Jason1689 I might be missing something, wanting to understand your perspective a little better.

    What makes it feel purely transactional with pros, but like getting to know the person first matters more with enthusiasts?

    Maybe this is a simple question, but from your point of view does the connection piece just feel different when someone is a professional… or does the relationship part carry a little less weight in that situation?

    I’m genuinely curious how you see that distinction.

  • SpicyNSweetSpicyNSweet

    @Jason1689 I strongly disagree with your claim. Perhaps it's that way for some pros, but please don't generalize and speak for us all. We're people cuddling people, and money being involved doesn't mean we don't care at ALL about human connection and interaction. If it was solely about money, we wouldn't turn down clients, yet we do all the time, especially when they treat us poorly...like we aren't people. 😉

  • VAdudeVAdude

    Once you monetize the process, the connection becomes transactional. That's not a normative statement, but a factual one. It's a business.

  • shecuddlessshecuddless
    edited March 4

    Hiiii ☺️ @VAdude simply put…..I understand what you’re saying about it being a business and that with pros there’s payment involved, while enthusiasts may do it more freely.

    I think what I’m still curious about is the feeling people attach to that difference. When someone says it becomes purely transactional once money is involved, what is it exactly that changes for them?

    Does the payment make the cuddle feel less genuine or less caring, or is it more that people mentally frame it differently because it’s a service?

    And on the enthusiast side, what does the connection feel like there? Does it create a different type of relationship or emotional dynamic compared to when someone is a professional?

    I’m really just trying to understand the psychology behind how people experience those two situations.

  • VAdudeVAdude

    @shecuddless I can only speak for myself, based on anecdotal experience, but I would say:

    Does the payment make the cuddle feel less genuine or less caring, or is it more that people mentally frame it differently because it’s a service?

    Probably both.

    And on the enthusiast side, what does the connection feel like there? Does it create a different type of relationship or emotional dynamic compared to when someone is a professional?

    Yes, because you are not "on the clock".

  • shecuddlessshecuddless

    @Brandi Yesss ma’am , I’m with you on that. I definitely need at least a little initial interaction before I confirm anything especially if there’s not much to go off on their profile. It’s not about long convos, but just making sure we’re both on the same page.having a quick hello and a bit of clarity on what they’re hoping for makes the whole process smoother.

  • NYCLatnGuyNYCLatnGuy
    edited March 4

    I have seen more than a few pro profiles out here on the east coast who won’t even talk to you without a booking request.

    Some state that it helps them weed out the people looking for pen pals and to waste their time, and some state that they view the cuddle as the “get to know you” time.

    When you add that to the people looking for efficiency, who view the transactional side of this as a priority to get out of the way, and those who understand the structure and intent of the booking panel/message as described above, perhaps it’s not surprising that so many people send stand alone booking requests to open the conversation.

  • bluefish281bluefish281

    I'm a client. Pros have told me they have a TON of people in their inbox and most of them are time wasters. I feel it is best to get straight to the point. It shows that you're not looking to waste their time. I tell them my first name, how much time I'm looking to book, and where I would like to do it, then ask if that works for them. I also send pictures so they know what they look like. After we've talked about it I send the booking request.

    Once the session is set up, I tell them I'll get in touch with them the day before to confirm. I'll also give them my ETA when I leave to go to the session.

    If you make the process as smooth as possible leading up to the session everyone is more likely to have a better time.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    @bluefish281 that's perfect, much better than just sending a request and not saying anything at all.

  • cobrapause44cobrapause44

    Maybe it’s just the really bad ui that leads the cuddler to think they have to request a booking initially. The button does say “request a booking”. Maybe it’s not that deep beyond a website that hasn’t been updated in 10 years. Source I’ve run several tech companies and have requested bookings without a message bc of this

  • LoloDLoloD

    As a pro, if they send a booking request without saying hello first—I make sure to start a conversation before accepting the request. Then I follow my vetting protocol which includes a video call and them understanding the rules of the site. Once all of that has been established and we agree to move forward, I accept the booking.

    I do not accept any bookings without my vetting/satefy protocol.

  • AntiqueWpatinaAntiqueWpatina

    I'm a "newby" here, but I would not make a booking without finding out more about the pro. I suspect some "pros" might not care for older men? Of which I'm one. I can understand it. We all like what we like. I would feel awkward cuddling with an 18 year old. (but that's me) Other factors such as distance come into play. I'm in touch with a 40 year old pro that says she prefers older men. We've discussed booking later in the month. Seems important to me to get a feel of the other person before booking. "That's all folks" :)

  • shecuddlessshecuddless

    Hiiiii ☺️ @Thenewestguy thanks for sharing that.

    I didn’t even realize some people thought pros might make distinctions like that with age. For me personally it’s more about comfort and the overall vibe of the interaction.

    And I understand what you mean about wanting to get a feel for someone first. Even a little conversation beforehand can make meeting in person feel more natural.

  • shecuddlessshecuddless

    @LoloD that actually makes sense. I might steal a few pointers from that honestly.

    I can be a little awkward sometimes with the requests that just pop in without a hello first

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