Age and cuddling

I have noticed since being on this site there seems to be a bias again being older unless you are dealing with a professional. I never thought of this as a date site but it must be. There is no hope for communication if you are over a certain age. All the things talked about the good it does to cuddle but if you are over a certain age you are excluded.

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Comments

  • I am sorry you have had a hard time finding someone to connect with on here. Yes, you may need to go the route of a paid cuddler if you aren't able to find one who is not. There are many of us on here looking for the same, and there are many more men here than women, and they are able to be selective. Though this isn't a date site, it is still up to the persons preferences and level of comfort if they want to cuddle of not with you, platonic or not people still are going to do what they feel the most comfortable with.

  • Politics and media are painting a quite ugly view. Leading people to be rather irrational on how careful they are.

    You then have the professional that see they can make some money with not minding who they cuddle with.

    And personally it rubs me wrong to pay for company with some one. That I will be likely paying for outing some where nice or even making a nice special meal for. I am all for making special plans and having it be my treat. My thinking goes along the line of I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine. Share with one anther the skills and talents we have.

    But once money is being exchanged for serves... things start to feel rather cold to me. When in truth you really can not put a price on close and true friendship. And things people are willing to do for one anther when there very close.

    Honestly I am probably strange type being raised around my grandparents and picking up on there morals. Enjoying cuddling with them watching old movies and shows. Then cuddling up with young nieces and nephews wile watching cartoons. Leading me to find it easy to deal with people much older then me or much younger... having less of understanding for my own age group.

  • edited November 2017

    Nobody has to see a paid cuddler if they don't want to. Just saying that if you are desperate to cuddle and have no other options, there are plenty to choose from. Honestly I have no issue at all with the concept, many of my close friends are paid cuddlers and I know they love it and do a lot of good for a lot of people.. its just not my thing.

  • @kfc1954... first off.... disregard EVERYTHING that @williamD said. I am 47 years old. I have children the age of most of the pro cuddlers on here. My age has not stopped me from being one of the most popular cuddlers on this site. Hiring a professional is not at all cold. I am extremely warm and comforting and caring. "You can not put a price on close and true friendship".... Some of the closest friendships I have are with my regular cuddlers. We communicate daily and hang out often. Look at my Karma then look at his. Do not be discouraged, my friend. You will find what you are looking for. WilliamD may be right when he suggested a professional. However, it can be a wonderful, warm experience. Please message me so we can talk.

  • Hey, @kfsea1954. I'm so sorry that it's difficult for you, but I wouldn't take it too personally. I'm 22 years old and 6'4", and I've only ever met up with ONE cuddle buddy who I wasn't paying. And, as you can probably relate, less than 10% of non-professionals respond to my messages.

    I think it's more so with being male _than being _old. Contrary to popular belief, men actually like cuddling more than women do - so the dynamics that make it difficult for us men to date are the same ones that make it difficult for us to find a cuddle buddy. (What I mean by that is, women get flooded with so many different messages from different guys that it makes it difficult for one guy to stand out above the rest).

    I hope I was of some help. And I wish you luck in finding a cuddle buddy! :) haha

  • edited November 2017

    bows down with a smirk to the Scarlette Queen... and lightly speaks Always interesting when triggering some one...

    True I am new here and what I say will most likely be disregard. But from my own experience messaging people here that are close to me locally... most have been younger to me. I have kept polite and friendly welcoming greeting to the website. Ask to be friendly and get to know them. Asking a stranger to meet and cuddle on first message would be rather rude. Most time couple messages past back and forth. And my last message gets no response. My thought are they move on from website or lost interest in chatting with me. Nothing that is going probably lead to me scoring karma.

    Only real karma I am interest in getting any of is in the volunteer work at a foodbank I do a couple of times a week. Or more if I have time when they ask for more help from me.

    Pro Cuddlers often glance at my profile. But have not message me to chat. I would maybe start a chat with one but looking at there profile only option I notes is to book time with them... and I have no interest in that. And is just my personal feels that can be just disregarded.

    I think Pro Cuddlers are good fit for those with not much time to get close to others... and have money to spend. They do preform a good need serves. And there subscription to website helps fund it for us other users to be able to use it. And a much need thanks and respect to them should be given.

    My own statements do not come from no where. I was caregiver to my Mother for 25 years...15 of them pay by being a pay caregiver by the state. At times I was payed hours to care for others yet tore at my heart to leave them when I knew they need more help. But I had my Mother that need my help at home to. With my Mother passing away I am not even able to put my self out there to be caregiver to some one else. Not thinking my heart could handle seeing some one suffer as my Mother did. Only would do so for anther family member or close partner.

    I am sure for many Pro Cuddler there work tugs on there heart the same way when they have client that needs more of there time. But they need to make a living, take care of there family, and play balancing game of keep all there clients happy.

    @kfsea1954 Do not give up hope... at some point some one may join the website that will be good local cuddle buddy to you. But I would also say branch out do some local volunteer work... there can be simple ways to help in once community. It led to me getting allot of hugs lately. And meeting people that are understanding when you have lost a love one in your life. That have been there for me to talk to.

  • I dont mind older . I admit I don’t text everyone back because some people are out of state and I don’t gave time to text and chat with everyone . I’m also starting out on this site , so I decided to start with people with good karma for safety reasons . Once I’m More comfortable I’ll branch out. Things I look at are karma of course , location , if they filled out their profile well and if they smoke ( I’m very sensitive to cig smoke ) age just doesn’t factor in for me.

  • I guess I have to agree it must be about being male. The older the less likely.

  • I guess I must agree it must be about being a male. I suppose it is if you are willing to pay. My bad . I have offered lunch, dinner,time in public place. It is what it is.

  • Meetup.com has an Atlanta cuddle group (492 members). Their last meetup was in August and 23 people attended. If you don’t want to wait for the next cuddle party, ask the the Atlanta organizer to make you an event organizer and schedule meetups at your home.

    3 Auburn Meetup groups that might interest you: (Bethlehem Dinner Club: Single Adults over 50, Over 50 and Active, Social Transitions: Singles 50 and over).

  • [Deleted User]SexyBrit (deleted user)

    It's a tricky thing to find a cuddle buddy, more so if male (and I do think age can be a factor with some people). I've yet to find one myself but have made a couple of friends here along the way.

    So don't become discouraged and eventually you'll find someone who you click with.

    Good luck!

  • Are there any cuddle groups within 75 minutes of Durham NC? As a older overweight bearded make I feel like I have three strikes right off the bat. That doesn't bother me very much as I am more comfortable in my skin. I have a couple of friends I hang out with a couple times a month are very nice to snuggle with at movies and shows. I'm looking to make new friends or just cuddle buddies to do more of the same around here. I might even me able to travel up to 200 miles to cuddle if the activities around it are interesting.

  • Two of them: Caroline Cuddle Club (86 members) and Chapel Hill Intimacy (367)

  • Just the general concept has some stigma and misunderstanding even among some of those who seek it. Some people are just not comfortable with having great age difference (5-10-20-etc) in any type of relationship besides business I suppose. It's really not personal.

    It's just whatever they're comfortable with. It's really not all that simple. Some can't host or be hosted. Hanging out with someone older especially those who look the difference in public sure brings about looks and add closeness to the mix and you've stares. As for hosting/ well even that is personal. Don't give up and I am sure you will find someone we all are looking for the same things and yet we all have different difficulties. It's not you. It them and don't let it discourage you it's not always easy for anyone to find match. Someone you both feel comfortable and accept. :)

  • I cuddled a 67 yr old a couple of times and I'm 42. Lovely woman, and she really appreciated the cuddles and gave a lot back!

  • [Deleted User]overstuffed (deleted user)

    @pmvines Loved what you shared. My sentiments exactly. I desire to give what I desire to receive - regardless of age. But that's me. I understand why others would not be interested in cuddling with someone across the generational spectrum.

  • edited November 2017

    Yes. I also get what you're saying Overstuffed.

    We (ourselves) whether we understand and welcome the idea or deny it for any reasons (we've the right to both, no right or wrong in this regard) mostly will all reach such an age and desire to be loved and respected just the same if not more. Not that every youngsters or older persons likes close connections either.
    So what goes around comes (can) around. :)

  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)

    I would definitely cuddle older women. One of my best female friends is 52 and I'd love to snuggle with her!

  • The first person from the site I cuddled was 55 and I'm 37. For me it's more about a mental connection. If I can easily talk to the person, joke around, and we have common interests then I'm game. Some of the people I have chatted with on here want to jump right to the physical though. Also if getting them to open up and share is like pulling teeth, then I lose interest.

  • [Deleted User]qwertzer (deleted user)

    From personal experience, I tend to be more comfortable when there's an age gap between myself and my partner. I've gone all the way up into the 50s as far as that goes. I generally seem to click better with them, for one reason or another.

  • edited November 2017

    @Waywardchild80, totally feel just about the same. I need a bit more time to get to know the person like after a day or two depending on how things are going. To talk, get to know each other's and also have 'the talk' (what we want, don't, anything's needed to be known...).

    After that I can get closer with them provided they're also ready.

    If we don't have much in common hobbies/personality/etc... or they're super quiet/too talkative doesn't workout well. The latter works a bit more for me though. :)

    I consider myself moderately talkative, (seldom on the highly talkative side :D ). While I can do silence, I like to be able to have an engaging conversation at least 10-15 minutes of the 30 minutes we spend... example.

  • Though also as time goes by and we are more comfortable, I don't mind quieter days here and there because we got to know each other's better. :)

  • [Deleted User]RScarf1 (deleted user)

    A couple of women who were not pros told me that I was too old to cuddle with and I'm in my mid 40s. I sometimes get ignored by women older than me though even if they are pros. The pros in their 20s who I've had sessions with did not care how old I was.

  • edited November 2017

    Damn @RScarf1, I am sorry to hear that! NObody is too old or too young to be cuddled. Anyone who says that don't deserve much of your time or care and I am sure one-day they'll come to know. Perhaps such people have insecurities (whatever they may be), think they don't want to be cuddled at a certain age more or less or are just utter airheads that are full of themselves. You and most of us deserve better. (I am far away by the way).
    Personally being in my 20s, although I prefer someone 18-30s (provided we click and get along well in various aspects and situations) if the same was done for someone max in their 40s I could expand my comfort level that much.

    Not judging and every case and person is unique. Though my speculation is most pros whether some (are) genuine and some aren't. (I mean maybe it's most are good, some bad apples, or the other way around)... I don't have the stats to know, a deeper understanding of the Pros or the company values etc. Though,
    My speculations some pros go into the business for the wrong main reasons (namely money). This they treated it utterly like a job and not much of a care is put into (in most times I believe respect and care go hand in hand). Therefore, they would not really care who they spend the time with if they're getting paid for. Hence, why we might have more people going pro, or because as talked about on other forums, it could be having male-to-female ratios out of proportion and a lot of people not be willing to cuddle with their own gender...... anyways.... the situation is not so simple though just my bit of thought on it.

    To some it's like them doing a job they hate! Also,
    let me say that there are 'bad apples' with too Clients. Some Pros put up with so much (NOT an excuse whatsoever) though some Pros might have had bad experience(s) with (a) client(s) and (as humans some of us learned to control this quite well) be projecting their angry and disappointment on the next person (that walks by) they get in touch with.

    However, don't give up, there are so many open-minded, and kind people out there who see beyond the flesh! They're worth your time and are so much more likely to connect with. All the best everyone.

    Thanks for all your inputs! :)

  • edited November 2017

    I understand that it's easy to jump to the conclusion that, because people want someone to cuddle in their age range, they are looking for romance rather than cuddling; but I would like to propose an alternative (or at least additional) theory that, instead of that, the issue is perhaps people are looking for someone they feel comfortable relating to--friendship, not sexual or romantic connections.

    Speaking as a pro, I of course do not discriminate against any clients; but I can absolutely understand someone wanting / feeling more comfortable with contacting and connection with an individual in their own age group. Cuddling is, I feel, about both personal connection and a sense of security. It's possible that younger people feel intimidated by older cuddlers because they don't know if they'll have anything to talk about with someone from a different generation.

    I like to think that people who sign up to do this as a profession are more confident and open-minded about connecting with people from all walks of life and generations. And were I based out of Georgia, OP, I'd be delighted to have a session with you.

  • @RScarf1 Wow... what an ugly thing for them to say, I'm so sorry to hear that you were treated so poorly. :( There is never a cut off age for human connection and it makes me very sad to think anyone would say, let alone believe, that there is.

  • I have met professional cuddlers only. I don't expeCt to be the first choice of a young woman , especially when there are young men aplenty here.have not had a bad experience. Will be happy to hire someone again. I am 60.

  • Ageism is a thing, unfortunately. An ugly ugly thing. One would think that folks would learn that it's all relative after the age of 21, but no, we're all participants in marketing and advertising ageism on a daily basis. That said, my heroes are individuals who don't see other people as age-centric numbers - and I've had that perspective longer than I've had grey hair.

  • I don’t care about age but I’m cautious of the fetish types . I don’t want to be your mommy and age play . I don’t want to be with an older man who think he’s gonna get his hands on younger . Yes I’m 40 but I’ve had 70+ yr old men say some creepy things to me . So talking to potential cuddler I like to know what they envision a cuddle session to look like . Look for red flags in the conversations. I would cuddle any age as long as they respect my boundaries I’m good

  • I agree with @cuddlebugTM. I've had too many 20-yr-olds contact me thinking I was going to teach them something about sex. Also, hormones tend to rage in that age group. That being said, I have two regular cuddlers who are in that age group, but I am leery of taking on any other young ones like that outside of a cuddle party, where they are always well behaved.

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