Looking for a platonic cuddler friend or professional

DJ567

Hi everyone,I am a 41-year-old autistic male, and I joined Cuddle Comfort to find a platonic female cuddle partner. I have never had a woman cuddle with me before.To be completely honest, I struggle heavily with feeling like my physical appearance isn't good enough because of how I was born. I maintain good personal hygiene, but I often feel like my looks are a barrier that I just can't change.I really want to experience the comfort of a cuddle. For those who are neurodivergent or have faced similar insecurities, how did you find your first cuddle partner here? Any advice on making a profile that helps people see who I am beyond my looks would be greatly appreciated.Thank you for reading.

cuddlefaery

@DJ567 welcome to the site!

As a fellow ND person, I know all too well the struggle with navigating social expectations and rejection sensitivity from past experiences.

My advice re: profile and advertising yourself - while transparency is awesome, most people find display of perceived desperation or low self-esteem unattractive. While I too tend to overshare and overexplain in an effort to be understood and authentic, I've learned the hard way that oversharing insecurities too soon can cause connections to wither. I've kinda adopted a "fake it til you make it" mentality regarding self-confidence - if I act more confident than I am, the positive interactions will actually boost my self-confidence. I still tend to overshare, but I try to keep the trauma dumping off of my profile and more superficial interactions.

Think of your profile and any ad type posts you make here like an elevator pitch - you likely wouldn't go up to a stranger, introduce yourself, tell them all the things wrong with what you're proposing, and then expect them to buy in. Try to "sell"/present yourself more positively (without being inauthentic) in public spaces like profiles and the forums, and then once trust and connection is established you can open up more about your struggles.

Instead, you can focus your profile on showing people who you are rather than what you need or struggle with. Share your interests, your cuddle experiences, your expectations for cuddle partners, and any hard boundaries. Those will both help people understand you better and help weed out potential incompatibilities. That said, experienced pros are unlikely to care about your looks - they instead care about safety and compatibility.

My other big advice for newbies: try to attend any local cuddle events available to you if you can. It is often far easier to make effective connections in person than online, even if we are more comfortable expressing ourselves via text. Facilitated cuddle events offer a safer space to gain confidence and skills while also networking with potential cuddle partners. It can be scary at first due to the group setting, but a good facilitator will be happy to help with accomodations and making sure you are as comfortable as possible.

Hope this helps! I'm happy to answer questions in DM if you'd like 😊