I'm friends with my lawyer. He's also my neighbor. We sometimes go to football games together. But when I'm getting legal services from him, or someone in his office, I feel 100% comfortable paying him his going rate, because I respect him as a professional, and as a friend.
I have the same type of relationship with professional cuddlers.
I feel awkward paying the IRS. Those words went nowhere in court.
The transactional nature can feel safer for those of us with consenting spouses.
You've gotten a lot of responses, I'm mostly gonna echo what others are saying: sit him down and explain your feelings on the matter so that hopefully he doesn't do this to somebody else. You're a professional, you're not going to see him socially.
Here's the important part: if you decide to keep him as a client, fine. If you decide not to keep him, do not let anything change your mind. Even if there are circumstances completely outside of you or him that do change your mind, don't go back on your decision. Because he will think he convinced you, and he will push more boundaries in the future. Guaranteed.
@TheFunCartel 😂 you make me laugh so much!
I will preface my comments by saying I am not a working professional cuddler yet. I've had a number of cuddles as an enthusiast and have now completed training to begin my journey into professional cuddling. My "day job" is as a social worker. And, FYI, I have experienced transference from a client or two in that role.
I echo what others have said that this situation is problematic in many ways. Trust your gut. If it tells you to end services for this client, do that.
If your gut tells you that it might be worth one attempt to salvage things, then move forward cautiously. If moving forward is under consideration, then it needs to be a conversation, not a text. Your body language, facial expression, tone of voice and words all need to convey the seriousness of your boundaries. If you move forward, i would suggest at least taking break for a month or two, spacing out future visits, making sure that you are occasionally unavailable for a requested cuddle day & time (a way to subconsciously reinforce that you have the right to your own boundaries), limiting contact outsidr cuddle sessions to breif communications only about the topic of scheduling a session, and watching closely for small rule or boundary violations and squashing those in that moment, immediately ending the session if needed. Whatever else comes to mind as helpful or necessary, do it too.
If you belong to any groups of professional cuddlers, let him know you that if he remains inappropriate, you will stop seeing him, report him on cuddle comfort, and will alert other group members to his behaviors in case he approaches them.
Good luck.
I feel awkward paying for my house, my electricity, my water, my groceries, my insurance, my phone....Why can't I just live here for free without the "awkwardness" of it all! 😌
The best thing happened to me was the cuddle time getting extended without me asking and no payment expected. This was after seeing the cuddler 5-6 times and we had a good rapport going on. Of course that's when her day was free with no appointments scheduled after our session. The extended time usually meant a walk or having a snack/treat from outside
I've had a cuddler who was a regular express feelings before ... I kindly turned him down and directed him to find a new cuddler. But part of me for whatever reason feels like your story might be more about him trying to just convince you to give him a discount or free cuddles.
I think what some clients don't realize that when I am cuddling for free, a true mutual cuddle....it is going to be very different than a paid cuddle. In a paid cuddle the session is geared around the client ... Their comfort their needs. In a mutual cuddle I'm expecting a more equal share of give and take ... energy received and given from both sides. Extremely different.
Anyhow if you have a desire for mutual cuddles and feel.jt would be equally rewarding to you and you have a connection to this person than by all means ... But if you're considering it because you feel bad or guilty or anything like that. You need to be firm with them and let them know it's a no for you.
There’s far too many clients on here to let one treat you like this 🩷 Block immediately.
I've had pro cuddle partners where we became more social friends, and I agree with the client in this story it is a bit awkward to then pay your friend for the cuddle.
But the difference is I always at least offer to pay.
Having said all that... @RelaxwithJ you probably have to count this one as loss income. What I really, really, really don't like about this story is it sounds like the client initiated the friendship AND THEN he said he shouldn't have to pay. That's really scummy. That's like if I ask my barber if he wants join me and friends at baseball game, and then during the seventh inning stretch I say "So my hair cuts are free now right?"
If OP initiated the 'friendship' I would be a little more sympathetic to the clients point of view (not totally, he could still pay, but I would understand why he'd feel awkward) but asking someone you get a paid service from to be your friend and then saying that means they should do that service for free. LAME!
MAYBE if the client said "Now that we are friends, I am uncomfortable paying you for cuddles, so I am going to have to stop seeing you as a client, I hope we can still remain friends." Now this would suck for the OP because it would mean a loss of income, but at least I would believe the intention the client was legitimate awkwardness.
If OP wants, she can offer him some kind of discount, I am NOT saying she has to do that, but maybe if she makes him feel "special" he can keep getting cuddles, he pays something and they can be friends.
But most likely this is a lost cause.
Let him know that you respect him but would be uncomfortable hanging socially… and cuddling is a service but if he doesn’t feel comfortable paying then he should look for enthusiasts. I understand not everyone feels comfortable paying for cuddling. Good luck! 🍀 😎
If it were me and a client said that to me, I would find it awkward talking to him at all in the future. It would be easy for me to never accept another booking from him and never to speak to him again.
I agree with iris and believe its best for both parties involved is a clean break with no further sessions and no contact.
I would tell him where to go. Selfish. Just trying to get free services…. From the pros.
lol or maybe he does have deep feelings n feels guilty to pay. Maybe that could be the reason. The feelings being fro one side only does not justify not paying. If it was the PRO requesting not to pay I understand. But she has to still paying the fees for the cuddle site. Hope he is thinking right. Maybe the cuddle sessions have bought them so close to each other that he thinks he is in love. Someone better make him understand otherwise and who better than the PRO herself.
My advise would be to chat with the client n make him understand his thoughts. Better that way than cutting him off completely without a closure. That way he either stays as a paid client or disappears completely on his own. Goodluck n stay safe.
I would accept the offer of a free cuddle as long as the client donated the regular cuddle fee to my favorite charity—the Fun Cartel Foundation. The goal of this foundation is to make the world a better place for me.