AITA

@CaramelNotes honestly I’m a girls girl , but I also know when to accept when I’m wrong.

A man’s right to protect himself doesn’t disappear simply because someone else finds his discomfort offensive.

If the roles were reversed, a male pro did this to a female client, calling her out because she felt unsafe, he probably would have been banned since yesterday.

He does owe a cancellation fee. SHE owes him an apology.

I agree 100% @Tigerlilly32 He should def pay the fee.

13:1 is not a discussion, it's a football pile. When you're attacking OP and not the topic/behavior, that's when ya know it's Michael Jordan personal. There's plenty of room for each commenter to start their own AITA.

@Tigerlilly32 That's impressive. You managed to get offended 6x from 2 comments yet failed to see your privilege through it all.

Again, feeling uncomfortable and being unsafe are two different things. All of this is interesting, especially since Houston, TX has a similar violent crime rate as Wilmington, DE. 😊 Those are facts - I'll never visit the mean streets of Houston, no matter how good the BBQ is. 😊

1990 Compton wasn't your ordinary vacation spot. 😉

Your emotional response is understandable, but some of the messages you chose to send did somewhat stray into YTA territory IMHO. YMMV.

Nobody needs to become a crime statistic before deciding a location makes them uncomfortable. Weird yo 🤣😵‍💫

Houston comparisons fail logic. Citywide crime rates don’t establish the safety of any specific location.

And REPEATEDLY calling someone privileged because they disagree with you isn’t an argument. Poor logic is not valid enough to offend anyone. It’s been fun poking the huge 🕳️ holes.

Now it’s very redundant, and quite 🥱 . ✌️

I dont think you are necessarily an a**hole but I completely understand where he is coming from. Him not feeling safe at your location is a completely valid concern for him. Just because he doesnt feel safe in the area doesn't mean its directed at you specifically. But you have no control over if his car were to get broken into or worse. He was willing to pay for the cancellation and then you essentially called him a POS by saying he made you feel like garbage and telling him he was judging you. Thats unfair to put that on him and probably why he never sent over payment. Just remember guys have the right to feel safe and secure just as much as women. Just an FYI, when it comes to robbery and car break in's statistics show men are the victims more than women.

@Tigerlilly32 Thanks for pointing out the limitations of statistics!

Comparing the worst parts of Wilmington and Houston side by side, we can see they're comparable for sure! Houston is a dangerous place.

MacGregor area of Houston

South side of Wilmington 🥱

Oh my goodness. Neither of you ATAH, but you have to take these things in stride. You lost control of your emotions and as the provider, which is what we are and should be called, it's your job to hold an elevated emotional space. You won't last doing this if you can't. There's people who make accounts just to play mind games with you. This guy simply didn't feel safe and you absolutely did unload on him. I had a similar experience just yesterday and don't regret my decision.
Keep your vibe high and professional as much as you can. Even if this person had rejected you, and he didn't, it shouldn't affect your mindset for more than the split second when it happened.

@Tigerlilly32 I really appreciate you keeping it real, especially in such a logical and succinct way. Now that the stats have show just how rough some areas of Wilmington can be, I feel that the gentleman should have been given a heads up that it wasn't the best neighborhood instead of only finding out when he got close.

@Csh4Cudz & @CaramelNotes 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

It’s amazing how one's statement of feeling uncomfortable gets debated whether he/she feels unsafe.

That line of reasoning is very scary, ignores boundaries and isn’t the type of reasoning for basic human interaction.

Imagine 😵‍💫😵‍💫

I would like to point out one thing. This should not diminish the fact that everyone is entitled to feel safe, but from a client perspective this is all preventable. I travel all over the country and if I am invited to meet someone somewhere or they want to host at their place, I punch in the cross streets provided or actual address and view it through street view. Then I research the crime stats on said area. All of this is possible in two or three minutes with Google. This provides me with enough info to make a decision that I feel comfortable with. At the very least, I know what environment I will be encountering.

I think not taking the time to know the area you are going to is unintelligent and shows a lack of respect for one’s own life. So color me skeptical that this was his sole reason for cold feet, but it was his sole excuse for cancellation. In the age of technology you drove to a house and claimed ignorance of where it was? If so, I have oceanfront property in Las Vegas I want to sell him.

But he does have the right to change his mind once there. I have never backed out of an appointment once there but I have in advance based on research thus my skepticism. Common sense takes care of most issues once you have information to help you make a decision.

@TheFunCartel agreed. its simple to do and gives you a good idea of the situation you are driving into. But i know alot of times the person wont give out the actual address until right before the session. Especially if it is their home address. They dont want to just give it out until the person is on their way or leaving then for safety reason. Which I get. So the person who was heading to OP's might have just had a general area he was heading to and didnt get the address until on the way.

Were the mesaages on cuddle comfort? Tigerlilly nailed it completely

@colinsc31 Thats why I said you can also punch in cross streets of where they send you because you can still get a good sense of the area. Usually the place they send you to is within two blocks of their address.