any straight guys willing to platonically cuddle with another guy

jp35

I've been looking at profiles in my area and it looks like most of the men in my area are either gay or listed as only interested in cuddling with women.  I'm just wondering, for men who may be reading this, are women just your primary preference for cuddling, or exclusive?  I'm not sure if it would be a waste of time to send messages to men in my area who list women to see if they are comfortable with platonic cuddling with another guy.  I want to find straight guys because I want to make sure nothing sexual would take place.

I'm not sure many straight guys would be comfortable with this. Cuddling may be non-sexual, but it's not entirely non-romantic, if I can put it that way. I know my own sense of "personal space" around other guys is much greater than it is around women. If a woman is close enough to hug, that's fine. If a guy is inside the reach of my left jab, he's probably too close. ;-)  OK, I'm exaggerating, but not much. We're talking stress hormones here, not oxytocin.

So for me at least, the answer to your question is that I would cuddle women exclusively.

jp35

Well, that's a bummer for me

Don't give up, JP. It used to be quite normal for men to be physically affectionate in a platonic way (see "romantic friendship"). I am sure there's still some out there who find the recent move towards physical isolation just as stifling as you do.

jp35

I read about romantic friendship for the first time a few years ago.  I think that idea sounds awesome.  I would love to know why that has disappeared almost completely in the US alone.  I know it's decrease a lot in the Western world as a whole, but it seems like it is virtually extinct here.

snugglecubLV

I'm in the same boat as you JP. Keep your head up high, we'll find our straight cuddle buddy! I have a friend that says her husband regularly cuddles with her gay brother. She says sometimes she'll come home from work and they'll be passed out on the couch in each other's arms. It can happen, you just have to find a guy that's comfortable with his sexuality and the fact you're not trying to have sex with him... Good luck to you on the opposite side of the country!

JP -- I think it has a lot to do with the way the standard for "manliness" has changed. Weirdly enough, male touch has gotten less ok as homosexuality has become more recognized. I think, because the West simply denied it existed for a long time, there was less "suspicion" about male touch. Now that it is highly recognized, men feel insecure about how their sexuality might be perceived if they're affectionate with male friends.

But there are people trying to reclaim it. Men need touch as much as anyone! A term I've heard recently which seems to be describing the same thing is "queerplatonic" and its many varients. It is usually discussed in the asexual community, but I think it is useful to many of us who see a gradient in relationships, not just the strict black-and-white of limited intimacy platonic friendship, and full-on sexual romance.

JoeSomebody2

This is related to gender balance, I presume?

But on topic, I see nothing wrong with cuddling with the same gender, even if you're not attracted to that. Cuddling is cuddling, and it only fees "wrong" because of upbringing and the perceived norms around us. Break down them barriers, yo!

And despite me saying this, I've yet to cuddle with a man. Hmmm.

TedEBearCuddler

Yes, I would. But then I guess I am not like a lot of straight men. I have recently learned about touch deprivation and cuddle therapy and am very interested. I have cuddled with a couple of men and found it to be so fulfilling--totally platonic and non-sexual in nature--but it was an amazing experience. It was just awesome to cuddle and have that kind of touch.  I didn't want it to end.

AutumnCzun

I often wonder why it seems to be such a big deal for straight men to cuddle, while it appears OK for straight women to do so.

justmeMike

Just word it like you did in your first paragraph. Don't be pushy or sexual, just ask them. All they can say is no. I'm easy going bit I agree w (Good hands) also. Men usaly don't feel comfortable when men are in there zone. Good luck

As a straight man who is entirely new to the cuddle thing, simply trying out platonic cuddling is a big step since it has always been with a romantic partner in the past. For me a woman is just what I'm comfortable with at this point. Who knows though, might change in the future. If only I could find a woman in my area anyway...

Yeah, we are all slaves to cultural norms to some degree. I personally couldn't cuddle or snuggle another woman but if you are open to either sex, you double your chances of finding a great cuddle partner.

AngryFeline43

I do identify as bisexual but not overtly so as I'm social phobic and mostly hang out with my three cats. I've already succeeded in my ambition to have great sex with a young man half my age (after years of tantalising those twice my age) and am more mellow as a result of that. I am naturist and to swim naked with others is kind of similar to getting a big cuddle to my mind and you're giving also through letting go of your inhibitions and pretensions, although it doesn't happen often enough for my liking, but that was wonderful too. I am an eccentric and don't try too hard to fit those notions of others of who I ought to be and what I ought to do with my life - since it's MY life to do just as I please with. I could cuddle a man platonically but would probably dream of him being something more than platonic when the fancy took me, in my private thoughts. I have a child side to me still so that strong (as in comforting and protective men) appeal to me: examples would be Jim Reeves and Dick Van Dyke as their voices bring comfort to me, and partly because I grew up hearing them in my childhood. I don't identify strongly with the gay scene - only with the concept that I am free to find attraction in whoever. I would have thought that on some level, there would be attraction to someone you are cuddling, even if it is kept under wraps and not expressed, just because it is a very intimate thing to do. When I receive relaxation massage, it generally creates a desire for intimacy if not sex. Your modesty is quite an appealing quality to a man who likes men to some degree, but not gay men who are generally too loud and too brash: this is much the same as cats being drawn to the person in the room who does not like cats. You should state your limits but understand within yourself that your own feelings may change regarding men, once you have been in the arms of another man.

miftow

I'm open to it.

pharkus

I am an asexual male, always considered myself biased straight, and used to be rather homophobic... then I moved to a different geographic region and met a couple gay guys, who turned out to be pretty good friends.

Anyhow, at one point I had several roommates, one being a gay guy, who I became very comfortable with. He lived on my couch for a couple months, and fairly often I'd come home from work and just pass out sitting next to him. I hug people a lot. We fell asleep together for short naps several times before I suggested he just start staying in my room with me since we were obviously comfortable with each other, the livingroom was cold, and I like having people near me... we shared a bed (and did a LOT of cuddling - like, completely wrapped around and intertwined with each other) for almost two years. He was respectful of my aversion to anything sexual, and it was a very safe and trusting connection.

He has moved out, and I honestly miss the situation.

If you're worried something sexual is going to happen, it may be time to re-evaluate your trust of the person - gay, straight, or otherwise.

sellers

Guys can be affectionate, without it having to become sexual. Usually, boys show affection, to each other, but the older they get, they are discouraged to do so, by social standards. Cuddling/touch doesn't always have to be sexualized, and doesn't have to be reduced to locker room horseplay, among men, when some really want to be held, or to put their heads on their friend's chest. I had that kind of friendship, and would like to have it, again.

I am straight and married, but I see nothing wrong with platonic cuddling with the same gender. Touch is important and calming and needed in our lives, and why should it matter the source. I would definitely cuddle with another man as long as it was non sexual and non naked.

I looked for women in my area, and it seems like they're all professionals.

DreamSweet

I just saw this post, and had an awesome cuddling experience with another straight brother from the Boston area; about 100 miles from where I live. We had an open communication first, before our planned meeting. It was a loving experience that was strictly platonic. We shared some lunch, and a walk through the neighborhood after at a street fair; stopped at a local grocer and had homemade Cannolis. I wrote about my experiences in a forum, a couple of years ago. Sadly we didn't keep the connection, as later I think it may have weirded him out. I have been in search of a similar experience recently. He was half my age, and there were no hangups about it. I understand if you are a loving soul, it is not supported on only a physical attraction. The energy is what matters most. No hidden agenda when it comes to the spirit here. A loving touch can heal the soul. Kindness is its own reward. Stay well.

NickS

I'm often on a different side from mainstream society on a lot of things, but this one indeed influences me. I understand the reluctance probably mostly comes from the social idea that cuddling is traditionally tied to romantic context, but hell is it strongly ingrained lol I'm sorry but I've had a total of 4 sessions with pros and I am fully aware that absolutely no sexual activity will come from it, I knew that going in, I am totally fine with that and I still enjoy it, but I still can not possibly see myself cuddling with a guy. It's not because I'm expecting sex from those I'm cuddling with, that doesn't need to be the case because I feel as though cuddling is already physically close enough/intimate enough that I wouldn't want to do it with a guy. I'm sorry but I really don't see anything wrong with not wanting to. For the record, further discussion may be needed on the specifics of the word cuddling. I've shared a couch with some of my best buddies with too many of us cramming onto it for video games or hanging out or whatever, some people may categorize that as cuddling. When I say I wouldn't want to with a guy, I mean proper, full-on snuggling up together.

BashfulLoner

I just learned a new term. And it’s the opposite of cyberspace i suppose, but i think I’d always get a sense of anxiety when a man is with in”meatspace” with me so cuddling would be out of the question with a man. I also feel if a man is within punching range he’s to close, now a woman on the other hand gives me know issue.

Men very, very rarely trust other men.

SnuggleBuddy13

I'm totally for it. Cuddling is natural. I'm a straight Male. Married too.✌