Is this a red flag or not?

Spongymarble

If someone pretty much in his first message tries to take it further to messaging via text and gives me his phone number...and I tell him that he has no picture nor text in his profile and to send me a picture at least through the website....and he sends me a picture of his face in sun glasses....is that a red flag?
I don't understand why the sunglasses. It's just kinda weird to me lol
Maybe I see red flags everywhere lol

BlueIris

That's not a good sign. There's no reason to need to text or phone until the moment you decide to meet in person. How long that takes is entirely up to you, but in my opinion, it should not be in the first message. Yes, what you describe would be a red flag to me. Nothing on the profile, wanting to take the conversation offsite immediately, and a photo that obscures his face. I wouldn't trust that person at all, nor would I meet with him.

cuddlebugTM

I agree taking it off site immediately is a red flag they are usually up to no good . I require face pic ( no sunglasses or app distortions ) I don’t give phone until I’m ready to meet !!

I'm very slow with giving out my phone number and even slower to ask for someone else's.

Anyone who asks for a number in the first email is a scammer or a scoundrel.

Morpheus

I’ll be your scoundrel

netrunner

Agreed. Red flags all around like minesweeper on that one!
Usually I'll ask for a persons number if I'm traveling and will be going to a hotel, but don't take any offense if they decline. I personally don't like using the site on my phone and see texting as much faster to access and send/receive responses if there was a delay or if they've arrived, but it is also more personal because they are trusting you with that information to not abuse it.

@Morphus Lol

Spongymarble

Ok thanks for the responses. I wasn't sure if I'm just nitpicking or is it a real red flag. I just don't feel like even responding to the person anymore because for me it's common courtesy to send a pic with no sunglasses. Maybe some think it's cool? I don't know but I'm looking out for myself and this person doesn't make me feel safe so it's a NO.

Question to the professional cuddlers: do you get the same amount of fishy messages like the time that you were not a professional?

cuddlebugTM

Yes pro or not you get them

Morpheus

Wasn’t Han Solo referred to as a scoundrel?

Some guys think they look cool in shades. I disagree. But even if it is true, when ASKED for a face pic, and they send one with sunglasses, I’d assume the sunglasses give him plausible deniability if his wife/girlfriend sees it.

Spongymarble

Why would he have to hide cuddling tho? Unless he's up to something else...

cuddlebugTM

Some e SO don’t understand .

@cuddlebugtm hahahhaha! Gave it a shot!

cuddlebugTM

I’ve met clients where their SO doesn’t understand I encourage them to communicate but I don’t judge . Some people don’t get that one person can’t be everything to you . Many don’t understand platonic touch

If you think it's possibly a red flag, it is. Trust your gut and your intuition, and don't second-guess yourself.

Scarlette

I guess I'm in the minority here. I, honestly, don't mind taking it off site at all. Its a quick and easy way to see what their agenda is. They say something stupid and I'm out. By keeping it here they say what is appropriate as to not get banned. Then you get them in bed and their real agenda cones out. 5 minutes of texting will tell you everything you need to know. So they have my number...big deal. I don't care about the sunglasses either. I love pics of me in sunglasses.

cuddlebugTM

I don’t mind taking it off site but when it’s rushed I don’t ferl comfortable

cuddlebugTM

Also you can use google numbers so they don’t have your real number

Lovelight

I haven't played minesweepers for almost a decade lol, time to play some.

Now responding to the OP, I'd say pay attention to how you feel. There's probably another thing I could tell you though more in message if you send me a hi.

If it feels off, it's most likely off and don't feel guilty that you don't want to say no or judge, it's their responsibility to respect your boundaries and pace, if they don't want, well then bye-bye. Rushing is all most always no good anyways.

Jacky

I don't think sunglasses are necessarily a red flag. Most of my pics even on my FB profile are with sunglasses. That being said, if I have questions about what the other person is saying, I usually ask them to share FB profile information. If they are scammers,I don't hear back from them. As a bonus, you are also likely to see their face pics without sunglasses.

cuddlebugTM

The sunglasses isn’t the thing for me I would tell him send a full face photo . The hurry to get offline is a red flag for me . EVERYTIME it’s followed by innapropriate requests and pictures ! I no longer give them a chance

I would agree taking it off site and no profile photo or text are concerns.

However ... wow, I had never thought of what sunglasses may suggest before. I will have to get a new profile photo!

As a guy, I am not as photogenic as the ladies on this site, so my only really interesting photos are when I am out somewhere - like the Grand Canyon, or Antelope Bend, or Stonehenge, or the Chapel of Bones in Evora (Portugal) or the Dead Sea so I am outside and typically have sunglasses on. This is also coupled with the fact I had laser eye surgery (so no prescription glasses anymore!) and am protective of my eyes when out.

I would suggest some of the actions described in the first post are concerns, but I would humbly submit most guys just never ever put any thought into whether sunglasses sent the wrong message or not.

Now I will need to look for new profile photos. Unfortunately I have a face for radio ...

Morpheus

I’m happy to move the phone quickly but I’m trained to not abuse phone privileges lol I deal with the public at work and I have access to a lot of personal information but I only use it when I need to. I work in the Hollywood and Beverly Hills area and deal with a lot of celebrities as well. I have the phone numbers of many celebrities and I’ve been inside their homes and I’ve had to call them but I know it’s completely unethical for me to use that for any purposes outside of work. That code of conduct carries from my work life to my personal life and I don’t abuse phone privileges.

AshleyCuddles

@spongymarble I have someone that I meet with that feels he has to hide cuddling from his wife. He said even though she refuses to cuddle with him she would see it as a betrayal. I met with him yesterday and he was a perfect gentleman.

calineur

I just received a message from a brand new member that seemed fishy to me. I don't think I will respond, as it didn't offer to cuddle, but just to communicate via email. Plus she is thousands of miles from my location. The person even put her email in the profile information, although in partial code so as not to be found by search engines, I believe.

@o0ashley : I wonder what would happen if I told my wife I wanted to cuddle a stranger... Oh, yeah, that! Now I remember why. It also would explain why I have only gotten responses from pros, no doubt. And I thought I was going to get some free cuddles. NOT! But it is still to soon to tell, so we'll see about what the future holds. I may come to the conclusion that the whole idea has inherent risks that are better not taken.

@calineur If you’re talking about a profile that shows a US location, but the user names the number one scammer country in Western Africa as her current location....I’d be VERY suspicious.

quietman775

@calinenur and @Greybeard see my recent post on her "hello" thread. Not that a typical enthusiast cuddler from Maryland who is temporarily in west Africa for school (?) wouldn't reach out to strike up an email conversation with a guy in California.... happens all the time, right? But yeah, my gut says scam and fraud.