Is it about Cuddling or Something else?

Coolguy678

I always wonder whats the real motive of a professional cuddlist is. Do they really want to cuddle or do they see it as a opportunity to make easy money? The pricing per hour of a cuddle session can vary from $50/hr to $200/hr--maybe more. According to this site, the market rate for a professional cuddle session is $80/hr, although the professional cuddlist decides how much they will charge initially. Ive always thought of the people who charge $100+ to be pricey, and those who charge under $80 to be affordable. My first thought about those charging above $100 an hour for a session is that their goal is to make an easy profit off a costumer versus someone who may change $50 an hour. If I had to choose between the two, I easily would go with the person charging $50 an hour than someone charging $100 an hour. My main thoughts would be that the person charging $50/hr is charging that amount because she wants to be affordable, because she wants to cuddle, not because she wants to make a lot of money. Her goal is to cuddle and not make a profit off of a customer while maintaining a value on her business.

For instance a professional cuddlist I know dropped her pricing from $80 to $60 to make it more affordable for me. She did this because she was more interested in having someone to cuddle with than trying to make a lot of money.
So the bigger question for me has always been, who are the professionals actually interested in cuddling? And who are the professionals who just see it as another job to make money for themselves? I will never be interested in cuddling with someone who only sees me as a way to make a profit off of me.

Brandi

This topic has come.up quite a bit. I guess you gotta see the pro to find out forsure if she is really in it for the experiences, or the money, or both and you'll be able to tell with body language, her conversatiom skills, her overall demeanour and attitude towards you and cuddling with you.

Im very upfront about why I do what I do with everyone. I love meeting people, and being a listening ear, and I love to give advice if its wanted. Ive also been able to find out who I am on a deeper level and discovered other ways to heal and help not only others but myself, and that fascinated me, and encouraged me to be the best I could be. I also learn so much from my cuddle clients, which is just the cherry on top lol.
Ive never wanted to have a regular job at a grosh store, or a fast food place. college also didnt appeal to me really, and so this was an amazing option for me, to help others while still making a living for myself. (:

respectful

@Brandi Can I ask if pro cuddling is your only source of income? I wonder how many professionals that's true for.

ubergigglefritz

I agree with much of what Brandi said. I do this because I'm passionate about helping people, particularly those who don't have a lot of connection with people. I aim to at least reach $80/hr because I want to be able to fully commit to my clients and not be distracted by other obligations, and so I need to be able to pay my bills and do so with relatively few hours. If I cuddle too many hours, I won't be my fully charged self for my clients, which is unacceptable for me. I also like the idea of improving in the skills this work requires. Basically, I'm excited about everything this work provides me, both financially and emotionally. It's always exciting to have the potential to make a living off of something you love to do, but anyone who does this JUST for the money isn't going to be very good :-P

pmvines

I would say any of the ones on here who have been around for a while and have a good rep on here are in it for the right reasons, and there will always be the component of wanting to make money otherwise you wouldn't be charging but that doesnt meant you don't care . I would say the ones who come on and after a few weeks abandon their account are likely to more so be the ones who may be just curious or thinking its a get rich quick situation and then realize its not.

netrunner

I agree with @Brandi completely.. you really can tell which ones are in it for the money and which genuinely care and want to help better someone else's life by being there for them. Most of mine have been wonderful, but 1 was a little awkward after I booked a session, she came over, and then at one point started asking if she could borrow money. We finished our session without anymore questions like that and I've not talked with or booked her since, but it was clear that it was only about money for her.
Most others though I talk with regularly and a couple, during and after our session have offered to talk if I needed someone while going through personal things in my life we'd talked about.

ubergigglefritz

One of my clients said someone they used before was lovely, but seemed to be just looking to get it over with. He's a nice guy. I don't know how you could consider that lovely, ha. Everyone is looking for something different in a cuddler, but it makes me feel good that I'm a breath of fresh air for at least some people :-) Success!

MsClickers

I have noticed it's a common thread for people to assume since you are being compensated with money, you can't actually enjoy it too. Not many people have had the luxury of getting paid well for something they absolutely love.

For me personally, I could never fake this, just to make money. It would be impossible to fake it with so many clients for over a year, without burning out. You can count on there being some truly wonderful and caring pros who are doing it for all the right reason. Then on the other hand, there will be some who aren't. Luck of the draw I guess!

pmvines

I am a social worker and love what I do. However I have to be paid for my work, I wouldn't be doing this for free. I'm not saying that cuddling is a career, but for some it is supplemental income and cant fault them for that. If doesn't mean they don't enjoy it or that their heart isn't in it.

BlueIris

It also doesn't mean that the affection they show you isn't real. I'm not that good of an actress. If I don't care for someone, I will keep my distance. I try to get to know someone as much as possible before a cuddle to make sure we're compatible. I'm not shy, and just because I'm able to hug someone I may not know very well right away doesn't make it any less genuine.

Morpheus

This topic of prices comes up more often than the question of, are pros in it only for the money. They seem like two different arguments to me. I won’t get into the topic of pricing in the comment, I’ll just discuss whether pros are in it for just the money. I personally have seen more pros than most people and have to say that the majority of them have been extremely nice, polite and sweet. Many of them have stayed and cuddled past the paid time and didn’t ask for more money. That’s a clear indication that those girls aren’t in it just for the money. I’ve had a few give me free sessions here and there and quite a few join me off the clock for coffee or lunch. When I see a pro charge more than the standard $80 an hour, I assume they are in it for just the money. I saw a pro from a different site today who seemed so genuinely happy to spend time with me to the point that she didn’t seem to want to leave. I’m also very lucky that I live in the part of the country with the most pros, I know some people in certain areas have a limited selection. Most of the pros that I have seen have far exceeded my expectations.

ubergigglefritz

I'm not in it just for the money, but I don't give excessive time for free. I also don't think you can judge based on their rate. People have reasons sometimes. I would only judge based on rate if it's a new person with no experience :-P But if they're experienced, they may have justification or so much business they need to. Who knows...

Morpheus

Here’s an screen cap from a new pro in LA’s profile and someone I would stay clear of.

Morpheus

Here’s a screen cap of another new pro in LA who I would stay away from. She’s charging $99 and offering to be a travel companion. Is this cuddle comfort or sugardaddy.com?

Morpheus

I do believe that the rates are being driven up especially by the girls coming over from cuddle companions and the price of pro cuddling will soon be unaffordable. I see a decline in business on the way.

calineur

@Morpheus wouldn't a decline in business bring the prices down?
I did see the prices there and they did seem to vary.

I don't know if the pros that I've seen are in it just for the money, but if so, some have been great at playing the part, so I didn't get that feeling that they were.

Speaking for myself, if the client has the impression that the focus is on the money only, it can affect his session experience negatively.

(Edited by user)

ubergigglefritz

@calineur I'm curious how you recommend pros not fall into too much "money focus" which you find a turn off (and understandably so), while still operating professionally and getting money as is due? I relate completely to what was said in a webinar I watched - I don't WANT to charge money for this, I HAVE to. I know not everyone feels the same way, but for me personally, if I can't pay the bills with this and have to get a regular full-time job, then I couldn't do this. Maybe I could get one cuddle buddy to cuddle on occasion, but that's it. I couldn't cuddle a variety of different people for hours and hours every week. I just don't have that kind of energy and have too much other stuff on my plate. On the contrary, if I were working a full-time job, I might try to find a PRO to visit on occasion, ha, so I can renew my batteries There is complete benefit to cuddling with a pro where you have no worries about giving, and can just soak into being spoiled and having the attention on your needs. I like giving (otherwise I wouldn't be a pro), but my batteries get recharged when I am completely relaxed and not worrying about anyone else. That's why I charge as I do to cuddle as a pro, it takes a lot of mental energy to focus 100% on giving to someone else's needs. I enjoy it, but it definitely takes energy. I do want to be a positive experience for people though, and while I need the money, I don't want to detract from the experience by my focus on it, so am genuinely interested in whatever I can learn to be better in this area

calineur

@ubergigglefritz Sorry, did you think that I meant that there should not be money paid for this wonderful service? That is not the message that I intended to portray. I simply meant that if a professional shows by her speech or actions that she cares more for the money than for the client that it can affect his impression of the session. I have paid quite a lot of money for this and for those who made me feel like someone special I gladly pay for it. I don’t know if I can exactly describe the method of asking for the money in a way that is better than another. It doesn’t bother me to be asked for payment. Maybe the difference is the respect or other connection that I have with a pro that makes the difference. Sometimes when I am not even asked I have paid extra because I felt so good. But there have been times, I am sorry to say, that I felt that the pro was more interested in the money than in me. Then I just feel that I wasted money. Please accept my apologies.

ubergigglefritz

@calineur, I didn't mean to come across defensive or implying you meant there shouldn't be a payment. I was genuinely asking for insight. It can be a tough balance to make sure the client feels special while at the same time taking money, ha. My few clients so far do tell me I'm successful here, but I still am concerned about it O:-) Thanks.

AshleyCuddles

I feel like for me personally I hate even discussing the money. It just feels so awkward to me and I really don’t want to discuss it once I’m there to cuddle because I feel it does take away from the experience for me personally. I always appreciate the clients that have it on the nightstand and kinda nod to it and then we can focus more on our bonding and cuddling. I think maybe that’s the perk of posting prices so it’s there and instead of discussing that I can use our conversations to get to know each other.

calineur

@ubergigglefritz Thanks. I think when you quoted from my comment I think that my own words sounded harsh to me. So I chose to edit them to make it softer. I think the money/client focus is just a balancing act that make just require time and experience. Funnily, some pros I’ve liked so much they could practically open my wallet and take what they wanted. I am joking of course, but if you can make the clients feel that good I hope it translates to a successful practice.

ubergigglefritz

This is why I love the monthly membership idea. Have it automatically charged each month and when you see each other there is no money to worry about unless the client wants to add more time to the included session. There does need to be a respect for what is and is not included though so there is no taking advantage nor need for the pro to have to bring it up... But I agree it is a difficult balance to be found... O:-) It's helpful when the client makes it easy so the pro doesn't have to make a big deal about it...

Seth, you make a lot of valid points in your post. Do you ever just ask the girl? I have cuddled for many different reasons, and I too had a special man who would pay me my professional rate as a massage therapist of around a hundred an hour for cuddling. This was a service I provided mainly for him, even when I made less because of it, because I liked him and always considered him a great person. Cuddling is very fun when both parties are enjoying it. There is nothing wrong with asking the girl if she likes it or even if she is only doing it for money. If she is nice, she will answer you honestly and hopefully your arrangement will continue. If she does not, than you can save your money for someone who does. I never minded being asked questions like that, unless the man was being rude. Then I would simply kick him out and cuddle with someone else. Cuddle on everyone.