why some people may choose to not upload their photo

This discussion was created from comments split from: Criticisms and ways this website can be improved.


  • [Deleted User]snughugs (deleted user)

    Some reasons why people might not post public photos:

    • People who have past experiences with stalkers
    • People in abusive relationships
    • Professionals who don't want their careers linked with their personal lives
    • People afraid of their photos being used for unsavory purposes
    • People in witness protection programs
    • People who were involved with social services as children and have birth family issues to consider
    • People's whose photos are often used to catfish others
    • People who are genuinely insecure in how they look
    • People who do not share this aspect of their lives with their friends and family
    • People who don't want their older children finding them online
    • People who know another user in real life and don't want to be recognized by them
    • People who are afraid that their location can be determined from their photographs
    • People who are well known on other websites such as Youtube or Instagram and want to make real connections rather than using their 'fame'
    • People who simply do not have many photographs of themselves or none that they like
    • People who are just testing the waters to see how they like the site before putting their face out there
    • People who had photos up but had either negative comments on them or another bad experience that made them take them down
    • People who don't want to leave an online trail incase they decide to erase their online presence in the future
    • People who prefer to only share their photos with people they know they get on well with
  • Great post @snughugs . I never thought of people don't put pics up, but now I do. Puts things in perspective for me, thanks!

  • @snughugs points 3 and 4 for me :)

  • I liked what @quietman775 said here too:

    "There are many reasons someone might not want to post a pic here, and they need not involve shame, embarrassment or sneaking around. Consider:

    "1. Many people value the idea of privacy and the freedom not to be observed. The idea is that they can control what they share about themselves, when, and with whom. I am happy to send pics to anyone who is contemplating meeting me. It's easy now that photos can be sent via PM on the site. But I would never have joined if required (as some have suggested) to show my picture to the entire world. That's not about shame or embarrassment; it's about personal autonomy. The right to choose.

    "2. For many entrepreneurs our face is part of our business branding. The cuddle movement is not universally understood or accepted. If someone makes a business decision not to display his brand somewhere potential customers might disapprove, that's a rational business decision. Likewise, some employees might reasonable be concerned about adverse consequences on the job if they are recognized on here by superiors at work.

    "3. The reason we all use screen names instead of our legal names is to be anonymous. Displaying your real face next to the made-up screen name defeats that purpose. You're not anonymous if people recognize you.

    "I could list more reasons, but you get the idea. Certainly no need to assume it's all about cheating spouses. For some, it's about principles, and the cheating spouse insinuation gets old."

  • Great posts, insightful. Thanks for sharing! :)

  • Thank you @snughugs ! I get that question all the time. Sometimes guys even asked me if I am unfortunate looking hence no pictures meanwhile they don't have theirs up either.

  • [Deleted User]ivlegend (deleted user)

    Great post!! Last point is on spot

  • [Deleted User]CuddleYou89 (deleted user)

    Four of those reasons pertain to me...

  • [Deleted User]MoonlightSonata (deleted user)

    I agree with all of the points mentioned by the OP and others in this thread.

    To be honest, I think it would be better if there was a requirement for people who want to meet up and cuddle to to send pictures of themselves in the message system. For example, there was a prompt in the messages for each person to send a picture before the conversation could continue. I think that would be a good idea for many reasons but also safety for both parties involved.

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