Meeting Before Cuddling?

Dreamy_Sweetie

Hello,

I'd just like to know if it's recommended or common practice to meet with a client on a day before the session in public? I mean, I guess it can seem safer this way, but at the same time, don't I want to be charging for my time as well if I meet a client beforehand??

Thank you!!

quietman775

@Dreamy_Sweetie here is one client's perspective: Over the last four years, I have cuddled with 36 pro cuddlers from this and other websites. No pro has ever asked me to meet them in public on a whole different day than the one we booked for cuddles. So I don't think that having a preliminary meeting on a different day is very common. I wouldn't agree to make a separate trip just for "inspection," especially if the pro expected me to pay a fee for the privilege. Paying a fee for a non-cuddling appointment would be a deal breaker for me.

Now, there are any number of pros who want to meet a client in public, like at a coffee shop or something just prior to going to the cuddle space. This gives client and pro a last-minute chance to check each other out in person and see if the vibe seems right before going to a more secluded space. And it gives them a chance to bail if they feel they need to. That seems reasonable to me, and I don't think most clients would object to being asked to do that.

Dreamy_Sweetie

@quietman775 Ok. Thank you for your input! I only ask because a client asked me to meet with him in public and I haven't done that before. I always thought that it would be ME asking him to meet me as I am the cuddler, and not the other way around haha

quietman775

Oh, that's different! Yes, clients can be cautious too. I've occasionally found myself in some bad neighborhoods and/or uncomfortable situations as a client. Still, it is a little unusual for a client to request a public meeting on a different day than the cuddle. In that case, if you decide to accommodate the request, I'd see no problem with you charging him something, although hopefully less than your cuddle rate. Happy cuddling!

@Dreamy_Sweetie I prefer public meetings myself for safety reasons and O am a guy. Cant be too safe. I dont want to go to a strangers house and be ambushed by anyone.

MaxCuddle

My first time with a pro cuddler we met for about 10 minutes before we walked to her place. The last couple we had a good conversation on the phone or email back and forth so we got more comfortable with each other.

BlueIris

@Dreamy_Sweetie - I always meet a new client in public first, but right before the cuddle, not on a different day. I agree with everything that @quietman775 said. A couple of times the person was far away, so we had a video chat first instead of a face-to-face meeting. It would have been a disaster had I not done that. The unsuccessful video chats were extremely helpful in ascertaining that we were not a good match. It would have been very inconvenient if they had driven a long way to discover I was not their cup of tea, and it would have been bad for me if I felt guilty about them driving all that way and cuddled them anyway, knowing it was not going to be a good match.

I did meet a few guys when I was an enthusiast without a public meeting first, but I had been in touch with them regularly for months. We already felt like old friends by that time.

But I will never have a new client over to my house without a coffee shop chat first. If he's from out of town and here on business, I'll meet him for coffee or a meal (his choice) near his hotel first. I don't charge for my time for those meetings, especially if they offer to pick up the tab, as they are for my benefit and I'm usually the one requesting the face-to-face.

SnugglewithSam

I've done what @BlueIris described in the first sentence above and wholly second it.

As far as meeting in public first, it's a bit difficult to do that for everyone and do pay attention to your comfort level based on conversation with the person you're talking to.

That said, I recognized in my own practice that I had a lot of people that would reach out to me for a session but not feel comfortable moving forward because even though they wanted the service they were scared because I was a stranger.

So I started setting up "coffee office hours" where they could sign up for a half hour slot to talk with me (there's various ways you can have people sign up. I like Calendly and 10to8, but there's also Acuity, Appointy, and Square Appointments). Making these available to anyone that has never had a session with me has been super helpful with comfort level and humanizing each other, and I've made it into a Facebook event and shared it with my local groups so others could sign up for slots as well and I could get new local leads that way that may just be curious (I'm very, very open about my practice since this is what I do fulltime now).

And because it IS work to chat with people and vet them, I have in my signup form that there's a $20 suggested donation that is not required, but it helps so that I can fund the coffee hours that I hold (oftentimes I end up profiting from it slightly and paying for my Starbucks for the next month or so). I see this as ethical because it's more or less like a freelancer's roadmapping session in a way to figure out if they can work together or I can point them in another direction to get what they want and need.

Morpheus

I’m with @quietman775 I have seen right around the same amount of pros over a five year span. I’ve only had 1 request a meeting beforehand and ended up at Starbucks with her for an hour at no cost other than I paid for the coffee. We actually had a great time and then went to my place for the session. I’ve only had one other even ask for a phone conversation before hand. Most pros have been very short on words and just booked the session. I am open to phone conversations and meeting beforehand as long as it’s on the same day. I agree though, if the pro required a meet and greet and charged for it, I’m not okay with that.

cuddlerforu24

I have a question for @mark at Cuddle comfort , regarding the “ in person public meet “ , which , when it is stipulated by one party , to meet in public immediately preceding a session .
In order to meet , a session , is in fact booked , the client has agreed to the cuddle comfort client service agreement, and the professional agreed to the cuddlers contract , both which allow liquidated damages .
Should either party decline to Cuddle the other , a cancellation has in effect taken place .
If the client , decides that the professional , is not worthy of professional cuddling , and declines the session , does the client owe a cancellation fee ?
If the professional , declines to Cuddle the client , is the professional liable for hotel room costs , paid by the client ( paragraph 11 of the cuddlers contract .

Morpheus

@cuddlerforu24 those are great questions. The CSA overall is highly in favor of pros. All that it says if a pro cancels is that she would owe the client a discount on a future session. If she cancels for whatever reason and declines to ever see this client, she would in theory, not owe him anything and the client would be out whatever money he spent on a room. I have brought this up on the past in hopes of getting the rule changed to no avail. All of that being said, I don’t think many pros would cancel after a meet and greet without a valid reason and I’ve heard many pros say they don’t pursue payment from a client who cancelled especially if they have a valid reason.

cuddlerforu24

@ Morpheus ... “ bad vibes”
That was mentioned before I think quietman .
Is bad vibes a valid reason for either to bail out at the last minute .
Perhaps maybe the Cuddler stopped at the post office to mail a letter , on the way to the session , and looked at the “wanted” list usually posted , and one looked familiar , but couldn’t be sure . So she goes to the rendezvous , and thinks she just saw her client posted as “ wanted “ .
Fearing safety she leaves without even checking his ID which would prove him not the wanted person . The cancellation may seem valid to her , and not valid to him .
It could be the other way around , he sees a woman from the SLA in the post office , and meets his Cuddler , and thinks it’s her .
Anyone remember Patty Hearst ?

RobV

Bad vibes... If a cuddler of any type felt uncomfortable, then I would want her to bail right away, before $ changed hands. No way do I want to force someone to do what they are uncomfortable with.

happybear

i think its fine to meet someone prior before cuddling. everyone needs to feel safe, everything should be communicated.

CuddleStella

I don’t do it myself bc it is time I could be using for other appointments (personal and whatnot) but if I had time open, I would have “office hours” and let them know I would be at say a Starbucks or coffee shop from time A to time B if they want to meet. In case they can make it, great; if not, I use the time as admin time to take care of emails and other work.

Mark

@cuddlerforu24 Good questions and I'll certainly need to reflect on that. It's not an issue that I've witnessed yet.

My initial thoughts on such a scenario are if both people have gone to the effort to meet and yet decide not to proceed, it's unlikely an issue of bad faith or unreliability. I'd therefore suspect that both parties wouldn't consider such a situation as a cancellation as referenced in the agreement.

Either way, we would generally expect most cancellation issues to be settled directly between the client and the professional. We do ask in the agreements that each side offer compensation but we don't officially enforce that by default. Instead, we enforce it solely at our discretion depending on the particular circumstances.

"All that it says if a pro cancels is that she would owe the client a discount on a future session."

Oh.. I really need to read that thing.. When you are dropping like $1000 per cuddle session this kind of statement is a bit worrisome

edit

Actually @Mark @Morpheus the wording on the CSA is pro client not pro professional, though I think its likely a mistake.

Scenario: Client has booked services with pro cuddler for $100 1hour session, confirmations have happened. 22 hours before the session, Pro advises unfortunately they are unable to meet the day scheduled.

So if we go by the way things are written:

"Payment for each session is due before the session or at the very start of one."

So lets say money has not exchanged hands yet... lets fast forward to the next applicable clause, cancellations:

"In the case of a Cuddler cancelling within 24 , they are expected to offer you compensation in the form of a discount for your next session with them"

So as written if there is a cancellation within 24 hours, the pro as written should offer another session of equal value (interesting, it doesn't say equal value.. so i guess they could offer a $1 discount) at no cost even though no money has exchanged hands. This may not be the intent but its currently how its written. Of course IANAL , but I found that interesting.