I wanted to ask professional cuddlers what level of skin contact people are generally comfortable with? Look forward to hearing your honest feedback.
As a general group or individually? I generally allow exposed skin to be okay to touch. so if im wearing shorts or short sleeve top, arms and legs are free to be touched. but that's just with me. some folks might not like having their legs touched or feet played with (footsie wise).
My best clients are NOT going hunting for more skin. I may sometimes be ok with belly or lower back touching under my shirt, but the best clients just don't even care and don't need that. It's all about intention and what you're looking to get out of the cuddle for me.
@ubergigglefritz I'd like to think that I would be one of your best clients if you lived anywhere near me, and I would never complain if someone felt uncomfortable with any skin on skin contact, but I think I can honestly say that I think that it would be beneficial to me. Back when I did have someone that loved me, lo those many years ago, when we cuddled it was always skin on skin, so if that is the feeling of care and comfort that I am trying to feel, feeling someone else's skin against mine would surely enhance that. Let me be clear I am not talking about being naked or touching in the no zones, simply feeling my warm skin against someone else. I am not hunting for more skin, and would probably never even make the request, but whatever the other person was comfortable with would enhance the cuddle for me. Really hoping everyone isn't going to think I'm a perv now. lol
@mduncan50 you're not a perv, ha. It's natural. Skin contact is definitely nice and provides the best oxytocin boost. I just look for that genuine intention, which you obviously have For example, I usually wear a t-shirt at a first session. More often than not, I will progress to a tank top for the following sessions. But the fact is that my wearing a t-shirt doesn't ruin the experience for my best clients, since a lot more goes on than just that skin to skin contact, which fulfills the person's needs. Maybe the next time when I wear a tank top, it's a bonus and makes it even better, but my wearing a t-shirt doesn't make the good clients not want to come back... Anyway, just what I have found. I'm tired, so hopefully that make sense ;-) Sleeptime...
My boundary limits are basically the same as in the Client Agreement. I have a couple of different cuddling outfits... but my minimum is a soft tank top and soft shorts. I tell clients that they are not allowed to touch me in swimsuit areas (with the exception of my hips, because that's a pretty common place for ones hand to fall naturally while spooning), and that they can touch my lower back but otherwise the boundaries of my clothes are also the boundaries for skin-to-skin contact.
I think it is wise as a rule to always just try to be respectful of your partners comfort level. Yes skin is nice, for various reasons based on context and frame of reference, however if the person you are with is uncomfortable with the scenario then it is not going to go very well for either of you. And even though it is a service, she is also a person first, so don't be tacky and insensitive to that.
The bare minimum I wear is a short/tank pj set, especially right now because it is so hot in Sacramento. I want to be as comfy as possible. I do not mind skin to skin contact on arms and legs. It's just there needs to be appropriate touching and respect for me if I say that certain leg touches are crossing my boundaries.
I think skin-to-skin contact is nice during a cuddle, but I always have to keep in mind that not everyone shares the same innocent idea with me of what that means.
Hi, I'm just curious here, but I've preferred at least arms/legs skin contact as I don't like pants/sleeves, it just feels uncomfortable and not human.
It's very relaxing to me and helps me open up to feel skin, and my ideal setting is with me in a t-shirt (without distracting art or text) and boxer-briefs (as shorts or boxers can be uncomfortable and briefs can be a little too sensual), and the woman in something similar (though I do like the feel of soft or ruffly nightgown or PJs or dress or something similar sometimes). I don't expect belly or back skin touching though that can be nice (and I definitely prefer barefoot touching).
I've read that asking for underwear cuddle is worth a permanent ban here (though I've found it to be nice even platonically), but I suppose it depends on her, and I'm not against bikini or swimsuit. I suppose the line is if it becomes too arousing which would be too distracting... That's my 2 cents, and not my first rodeo yeehah
What 2 consenting adults choose to wear is up to them. For purposes of this site, the site does promote platonic cuddling and it is implied that this means not in underwear. And when hiring a cuddler it is not allowed as it is a boundary that ventures into something less than platonic, and the paid cuddlers and sites like this have worked hard to remove the idea that it can in any way be associated with prostitution. So to address your comment, yes , hiring someone to cuddle and asking to wear underwear might get you banned . If person is not a paid cuddler and reports you, you still may be banned due to the platonic nature and intent of the site .
I’m a huge proponent of skin on skin contact. I always wear shorts and a t shirt with pros and ask that they were shorts and a tank top. I have received a lot of negative feedback in the forums in the past for my opinion on skin on skin contact although all the pros I’ve seen have not had an issue with it.
Or maybe they are just trying to be accommodating. Even though someone agrees to something doesn't necessarily mean they are fine with it
Or maybe they are ok with it. I don’t ask, but almost all of the women I cuddle with wear shorts.
I haven't worn shorts in years, other than boxer shorts around the house as "PJs". I wear Bohemian island pants pulled up to my knees to cuddle. People seem to still be pretty elated with my cuddles. Can't make everyone happy though. It's good when people have options :-) If you need the girl to wear a tank top and shorts in order to enjoy the cuddle, then I'm probably not the pro for you O:-)
I think shorts are perhaps more widely worn in Southern California than in most other parts of the country. Perhaps that might be why women are more willing to wear them.
I wore shorts once on request, even though I really dislike them. I prefer and usually wear knee length lycra leggings. To me, the leggings actually convey more sensation. The shorts were uncomfortable in more ways than one, with my cuddler pushing for more and more skin as the session went on. ?
Adding: I am in Los Angeles. I just never felt comfortable showing off my stumpy little legs ?
Yes. It takes a LOT more skill with boundaries for someone to not push for more when the clothing boundary is so close to the no zones...
I have zero issues respecting boundaries which is one of the reasons I don’t get the issues of exposing skin while still following the CSA. I also think Spoonie May be on to something, I do live in Southern California where females wearing shorts and tank tops is probably far more the norm than in other areas of the country. I would also like to add that not honoring my clothing request is not a deal breaker.
While I respect softandlovely's choice to wear lycra leggings, if I were to meet her I would have to ask her NOT to wear them as they are a major turn-on for me (and we don't want that). That might be a good discussion topic, asking people not to wear something, not because they don't like them but because it would turn them on too much.
@scottcuddles That's often my concern with tank tops. I know the added skin contact helps and is nice, but it makes me look a lot more "sexual" than a t-shirt :-/ I usually wear t-shirts first and then move over to tank tops if things go well and I trust the person, but feel that can also change the dynamic. So complicated ;-P lol.
I’m not opposed to some skin contact. I also give back rubs, so I’m ok if the guy takes his shirt off, especially since I use oil. I’m ok if they’re in shorts. I usually wear a tank top, stomach covering sports bra or lightweight top. For my bottoms, it’s usually yoga pants or a capri length leggings. I’ll rub a clients arms or legs if they ask, fo scalp massages or lightly stroke their hair or head of they’re bald.
@warmlyhelena, I think that the best part about the cuddling movement is the Consent aspect. I like the teaching that, "if your a 'yes' say yes, if your a 'no' say no, if your a 'maybe' say no.
I think it helps everyone including yourself if you only concent to what you want. No decent person is going to be bothered if you tell them, "Sorry, but I feel more comfortable to wear legings or pants" Honestly, if someone had issue with your wishes and/or pressed the issue, it almost seems like a good reason to suspend them for a time...