A comment from someone got me wondering ... what kind of support do you need as a professional? Where do you find that support?
I wish I knew!
Seriously, I was just talking to my husband about how I wish I had one friend in my area who I knew was a skilled, regular professional cuddler. Someone to talk with, ask questions of, maybe be able to work together (rent a place)... It would be of great use personally and professionally.
From what I can tell, the pros near me (let’s say at least a 50 mile radius) aren’t interested in talking to other pros. (There is one possible exception to this, but we haven’t been able to meet up quite yet.) I guess some pros are worried about competition? I don’t really think this business works that way so much (at least not in my area and not yet).
It’s too bad. On some days when I’ve been busy, a client (or potential client) has asked me for a recommendation. If I knew someone I trusted in the area, I would love to give recommendations.
I want a guild or a regular meet-up... or something.
Anyone else?
I agree with you @AndiCuddles . I feel alone. I like the virtual support when I can find it and kind of enjoy it all being on me here sometimes, but two people working together would be better than one. Would have to be the right partnership though. I am particularly interested in a partner who is interested in leading group events as I think those are really needed in this area...
It's SO frustrating! I had lunch with @SnugglewithSam today, and had a WONDERFUL time! It just kinda' reinforced how strongly I want a pro-cuddle colleague in the area!
I also wanted to say, @respectful that I really appreciate the way that you and @pmvines and a few others stand up for us in some forum discussions. It's always super-sad to me when enthusiasts think we're all greedy pseudo-escorts. I can see where they're coming from (the industry is new and things are murky... I come across pros who I think are maybe taking the cuddling business in the wrong direction not infrequently.)... but it still sucks. So, that is one type of support that I really appreciate.
I think the other thing that's needed is more education. Being someone who is openly a professional cuddler, I'm always explaining to people what I do. I want the profession to not be so shrouded in mystery. I want people to know professional cuddlers. I want people to know people who hire professional cuddlers. I don't want anyone to find it embarrassing!
((Hugs))
@AndiCuddles I have always been an advocate for you all on here. I have been told before by some long time users that I shoudnt be taking sides with you because it supposedly makes things more difficult for the clients and that since I don't procure paid cuddle services that I have no business speaking out. Was even harassed a bit by a long time user who makes it a point to brag about how often he hires pros, and tried to get me to join an offsite chat group that essentially trades intel on cuddlers and from what I have heard promotes trying to get them to do things that are counter what this site is intended. But way I see it is just because I don't use your services doesn't mean I don't see at as serving a purpose within the puzzle, and I really truly respect what you do and have genuine concern for your safety and challenges you face. I have gotten to know some of you quite well and consider you friends. So I will always speak up for and support what you do.
Thanks @AndiCuddles!
"I think the other thing that's needed is more education." What might that look like?
Thanks for the shout-out @AndiCuddles a live support network is totally necessary for us! Is ironic that little exists off the internet to support us, but I'm glad we got to today
@respectful to answer your original question, the support I'd love to see is more clients willing and able to talk about this publicly. I have a few at home that openly admit that they come see me. I had organized a live AMA in Boston and one of my clients without me asking him to showed up and told the audience (again, without me asking him to) how amazing I was and how he had been seeing me regularly for over 2 years and the improvements in his life he credits me for.
My clients don't need to do that, but I do want to see the level of shame in this go down. Two other clients openly tell their wives they do this. One doesn't like that he does but accepts that it makes their marriage better, and the other one's spouse actually told him that he better come back and see me because he looked way more relaxed than he had in months.
I'd love, love LOVE to see a celebrity, a CEO, or some high-profile/influencer person talk about this like they went to go see their massage therapist. Talking with some publicists, that honestly would be the best way to move the industry out of the darkness and into the normal public eye, much like the way online dating has transformed and become a normal thing to do.
For me these days, I'm finding as I do more sessions in a day (i.e if I see 4+ clients in a day) my mood drops significantly after a few hours. I'm learning to figure out where my threshold is on how many cuddle hours I can do (last week was 55.5 total... I'm not joking. Maybe 10 of those hours were overnight hours). As I do that, I'm learning alone time to decompress and indulge myself in self-care is critical or I can't keep going and give of myself the best way I can. Funny that though... I always thought I was an extrovert until now. After doing 10 hours of cuddling in a day though I just want to retreat into a book and drink tea some days.
Also @pmvines I just so appreciate you for speaking up for us. So much. And thank you @respectful for giving us the space to talk about this too
Thresholds are important to be aware of. That's WAY too much for me, lol. One client a day, or two if they're at my house, five days a week. That's good for me :-) And I'm hoping one of those days a week at a senior living facility. I think once I get enough business where that's becoming tough to keep to, I'll be looking for a partner...
We all have to find the the right balance to mitigate work, rest, relationships, family ,and cuddling and all the activities of life so you remain healthy and can enjoy.
Absolutely @happybear ! My thresholds are changing a lot, and they're different since I'm on the road too. And @ubergigglefritz if I'm at home I could easily prepare and take on 4 clients a day, but while traveling that's too many times for me to shift my focus and energy (especially since I have other projects I'm building in between all the cuddling).
As far as education, @AndiCuddles probably can speak on what she would like to see more, but I'd like to see a more live, in-person community for cuddling. Half the reason I'm touring the country is to meet new cuddlers and see them in person. I'd love to make standardized meetups for those willing to come out and do meet and greets. Eventually I want to provide more live events for locals to meet up, both cuddlers and cuddlees.
It's along with what I said before: I want to see cuddling for the sake of cuddling be normalized. I think we're still a bit of ways away from our culture as a whole shifting to that, but ideally I want to see cuddling get normalized so much that I put myself out of a job-- which will mean shifting my work too, which is why education as a whole for cuddlers is important. Even if cuddling becomes normalized, education on communication while cuddling will be necessary.
I am totally with Sam on this one — although I think there will always be room for highly qualified, professional pros. But it needs to come out of the closet. And their needs to be more community for everyone.
As such, even as a new cuddler, I have a 3 tier business plan for myself. (Still in the early stages, but still.) I’m in Tier 1, renting a place (so I can schedule more clients, I’m in a place I always feel comfortable and in control of and can make super-high-quality) is Tier 2, and Tier 3 is a more community-oriented level. Making a Cuddle Sanctuary Detroit, or the like.
I want to educate EVERYBODY. I want us to all get MORE media exposure. I want some of our clients to feel comfortable describing their experiences in reviews outside this site. I want BILLBOARDS! ? I want ALL THE SCIENCE.
Ladies, thank you so much for this post. It is so great to see the enthusiasm in our professionals, I hope more will actually elaborate on here. Those that have been doing this for a while and are knowledgeable about the business side, the publicity side.
There are celebrities on this site, I know I've talked with two; major national celebrities, regional celebrities, and local celebrities; anyone who knows how to google or use social media knows about and probably has wondered about cuddling. I don't care if you are a household name like Prince Harry or a local hero who spurred local law enforcement reform. Please get to the place that you are willing to mention the support and benefits you get from cuddling. Whether you're in Chicago, London, Mission Viejo, Duluth, or Quincy by speaking up when in front of media you have the ability to make a good impact for cuddling in your community.
I agree wholeheartedly. Billboards, Science, Celebrities, Publicity we need it all! Not to mention a think tank or support line for professional support.
Thanks @respectful for starting it.