For hundreds of years in the UK, until 1967, sex between men was a criminal offence. Many on here complain that too many others ( e.g. hotel staff ) think that when two people meet for a platonic cuddle, they are actually having sex ; so two men being found together would be enough to have them both jailed for a long time. Any public display of affection would be suspicious.
That kind of group thinking, doesn't disappear overnight.
Pat-down rules say a person under 14 of either gender, may only be searched by a female ; and a man giving a comforting hug to a child risks being labelled a pedophile ( thanks Jimmy Saville ). A man who is confirmed straight, is judged to be at least safe around boys, but one who is suspected gay / bi, won't be allowed around either gender.
This thread is a blast from the past compared to all the other threads on this topic good to see some of the old members on here 😀
@MrFirefighter I defer to @mickcuddle post toward the top of the page . He said it better than I can
@MrFirefighter
What exactly makes you so resentful about this? If a man wants to hug another man but not have sex with one, what about that makes you angry?
I'm not sure if it's social conditioning or something else, but I feel a better emotional response when hugging or cuddling a woman. I'm a mostly straight guy. I've even had some bi curiosity but I still feel better with a woman.
You're a straight guy and don't wanna cuddle guys? Then don't. But.
You don't get to decide for other straight guys that may and do cuddle other guys. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.
@geoff1000 - I can't even, with the first and last of your 3 paragraphs above. As usual, you go so far off tangent and relevancy - it's like your keyboard has Tourette's. For the record, if at any time you choose to bring up homosexuality and pedophilia in the same sentence, perhaps rethink and reread it and ask yourself what you're doing, because your sentiment sure looks like someone with a world view from 1967. Please point out any thread in which people on here complain about what hotel staff think of them, and can you point on a doll where it might have hurt their one feeling?
@Sideon I can't easily track the references, but female pros have complained at : hotel lifts that need a room key so they have to wait awkwardly in the lobby for the client, and taking a public walk with a client who is twice their age because they are "judged".
You really should try to recognise the difference between what I think, and what I am saying other people think. A young woman who sleeps naked with a man then complains she was raped, has a harder time convincing the jury it was non-consdnsual than one who is jumped in a dark alley ; I'm not saying that's right, only that it's true.
Prisons are gender-segregated, on the basis that most people are straight, so it stops them having sex. Teachers and pupils are sometimes segregated for the same reason.
Acknowledging that society treats gay people differently, isn't homophobic ; any more than the #BlackLivesMatter movement thinks black people deserve ill-treatment.
@MrFirefighter Please don't claim to be speaking for every other straight man on the planet when you are in fact not speaking for every other straight man on the planet. It's not nonsense if someone straight is fine cuddling with someone without different bits - and this is coming from a straight guy who isn't really comfortable cuddling other guys.
No true Scotsman fallacy while shouting the word "TRUE" and writing off replies as nonsense, not the best for a public forum.
@MrFirefighter I'm sorry for whomever hurt you. I hope love will overcome in your life.
@MrFirefighter If you think that men only want to cuddle men, as being a poor substitute for having sex with them ; then you must also think that straight men only want to cuddle women, as a poor substitute for having sex with them.
I don't specifically want to cuddle women. It's just that I want to cuddle adults who aren't men ( by birth or identification ), and there isn't much other choice. It's like wanting to drink coke in a bar, because I'm thirsty and everything else on offer has some alcohol.
First of all...... Thank you @MichaelFJudd for being AUTHENTIC and asking a question for feedback FROM PEOPLE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED WHAT YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT TRYING. Yes I know I'm using shouty capitals here. Can we actually look at what the OP is asking about? The reason I never posted is because I AM NOT THE AUDIENCE HE WAS ADDRESSING! **Have any straight men on here had this experience? ** It's like responding to mail that doesn't have your name on it. Let's remember what was asked in 2018!!!
I want to start a discussion here. I, a straight (possibly bi-curious) guy, am curious to see if it would be enjoyable/nice to cuddle with another guy. Have any straight men on here had this experience? What did you think of it? If it's a good idea, what should I have to take into consideration that I wouldn't have to if I was cuddling with a woman? Discuss.
Then sweet unknowing new guy Mr. @nurturingman posts
I would love to cuddle with a straight man. Granted, I'm gay, but cuddling is a platonic thing, and it would be great to enjoy that male energy I like and share affectionate touch with a likeminded buddy who loves me for who I am. I understand how a straight man might not want to cuddle with another man, though, and I hold no judgement against the guys here who have said "no."
WELCOME TO THE SITE Mr. @nurturingman please don't let all the negative stuff dissuade you, there are some really LOVELY people here!!! 😊😊😊
@MichaelFJudd also said
Yeah, I'm just trying to how much of my hesitance to the idea is because I really don't want to, or that I've been conditioned to believe that it's "wrong".
Again.... thank you for being honest and vulnerable about things that you are considering. It's obvious that you're not interested in ** TRYING TO CONVINCE ANYONE ELSE TO CHANGE THEIR MIND OR PREDISPOSITION**, but instead he is trying to ask open-minded people about their experiences.
Plenty of threads debate whether its right or wrong. This isn't that one. I also don't think either the OP or @nurturingman are looking for someone to "set them straight" on what is right, socially acceptable, or reasonable. Give me a freaking break. WE ARE ON A PLATONIC CUDDLE SITE!!!! Talk about being non-traditional and socially edgy. I am weary of posts that are so narrowminded in any regard about ANY subject.
I was trying to figure out from this specific thread, the demographic of ridiculous posters. It's not just an age thing (because I am OLD!!!!)... It's not an IQ thing.... It's not a gender thing.... It seems to be a ridiculous notion that any one person arrogantly believes that ****THEY HAVE THE ONLY TRUTH****. It is exhausting.
If we're going to have an Ontological debate about the nature of our "being" then everyone winds up choosing a side. You either believe that there is one single TRUTH for everyone and YOU happen to be right all of the time, or you are curious and open to other people's opinions and perspectives. I align myself with the latter.
Thank goodness for all of you who are actually trying to help the OP with what he's asking as well as the newcomer who's thoughtfully taking time to read through old threads to see what all the fuss is about.
@Simmon Straight male here who cuddles anyone he is fond of. @CUD_male During cuddle workshops, there are times when cuddling another male occurs, normally ok time PROFILE "There is something transcendent about cuddling, as it has power to take energy from outer world--human touch & intimacy, and influence our inner world, down to molecular level. Cuddling can improve immunity, enhance mood & serve as energetic elixir for all patients, especially those with chronic medical conditions." @ram84 I’m a straight British guy and have no issue with cuddling men, and I think it’s a sad state of affairs that it is ingrained in our culture that it’s not something normal to do. @JasonCuddles I have had everyone checked off in my profile for quite some time. In his profile he says "I am in a poly relationship. If that is okay with you then I would be happy if you read further. If I am describing myself in a few sentences I guess I would say that I am a very curious person." @mickcuddle I’m not offended by any man who says he doesn’t want to cuddle other men. I’m not even bothered if you say that it’s “icky,” if that’s the word utra-straight dudes are using these days. But you cross a line for me when you suggest that is unnatural or unacceptable. True, it’s not a common practice. But own your values, don’t put them om everyone, please. And to suggest that someone who self-identifies as straight is not really straight because he prefers to cuddle men borders on hate speach. @tallmann MORE SNORING!!! HAHAHAHHAA nice pic. Congrats that you have a constant cuddle buddy!!PROFILE I am in a poly relationship. If that is okay with you then I would be happy if you read further. If I am describing myself in a few sentences I guess I would say that I am a very curious person. @pmvines and @Sideon @Sashamcgee of course lovely 💖💖💖🥰😍.
AND please.... if you're going to post something "somebody" said to try and make a gross generalization to prove your point at least give credit where credit is due like this. 👇
@DarrenWalker brilliant and consistent as always.
Personally I think it makes more sense, on a platonic site, to cuddle with somebody you know you're not going to be tempted to go too far with. It's not fair that society lets girls hug and cuddle, but conditions boys to keep away from one another. There's nothing wrong with getting the human contact you need from another man. These social rules are stupid. Why can't two guys curl up and watch a movie? Girls do it all the time and there's nothing "creepy" or "wrong" about it.
Spot on with previous ideas and discussions....
I don't understand the desire to be physically close to someone not because their body's all pillowy and comfortable, but because they've got a specific set of private parts. Humans are humans. Surely assigned sex doesn't play a notable role in anyone's capacity to care. Don't anthropomorphize society. It's a vast machine, a tangle of traditions and beliefs and habits stretching back centuries, and it doesn't think, much less hand down decisions from on high. It just... is. As it is. And because it is what it is, the people within it find themselves pushed and pulled, restricted and encouraged, helped and hindered in many, many different ways.
I just wish there could be a few more rational conversations based on personal opinions and preferences AS WELL as just a FRACTION of logic, open-mindedness and reason. I suppose someone is going to say "women should be pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen instead of speaking their mind and wearing pants instead of dresses."
@geoff1000 - every single time you erroneously equate sexuality with cuddling. Every. Single. Time. Your suppositions don't hold water. If you personally have not or do not want to cuddle men, then stop trying to imagine or make up reasons that men would/could/do cuddle other men. Your projections and hypotheticals say a lot more about you than they do to what you're attempting to convey. I'm done pointing out your fallacies and I will not respond to your blather further, not here and not on any other thread.
@sillysassy - thank you for you, my friend.
@sillysassy 💕💕💕💕
@Sideon You clearly haven't understood that I'm saying exactly the opposite of what you accuse me of saying. I will miss your responses to my postings, as I would miss a bad toothache.
@sillysassy ~ I ♡ you!
oops... I mean...
...I'd forgotten my shouting it from the rooftop caps! 😘
Awwwwwww you guys.... 💗💗💗 bit least we forget this thread isn’t about me. (Although I appreciate the love AND the shouty capitals) I would LOVE to hear from STRAIGHT MEN WHO HAVE CUDDLED WITH MEN Better still it would be fantastic if we got an update from @MichaelFJudd as to if he went ahead with his experiment. 😊🌟🧡
@sillysassy he hasn't been on in 2 mo . This thread is from 2018 . Funny there are so many other recent threads on this topic and this is the one dug up to take a swipe at lol. At least it reminded me of why I like @mickcuddle so much. Miss that guy too
Both good guys, @pmvines . I miss their posts.
Snuggly snuggly snuggly. Boys in my daughter's playgroup snuggled as much as the girls, with boys, with girls, whatever, let's just snuggle. They didn't stop until they got to school where they got a ration of s--- for it. I know a couple young men who were homeschooled together and they snuggle as a regular thing, and both are hetero. It's damn dear to see them snuggled on the couch watching a movie, secure in themselves. IMO, It's human to like to snuggle. It's conditioned to separate which peeps are ok to snuggle and which ones make you weird if you do, or make you go all squirrely inside. And to each her/his own. May the wild snuggling rumpus begin, however you like it!
@sillysassy thank you. ☺️
I’ll follow up on my first comment to answer the OP’s question a bit more directly. This is speaking as a gay man who cuddled with straight boys my age a couple of times when I was 17.
Before I let the words straight and gay stand, though, I should say I believe sexuality is a spectrum, and I do not have proof that my peers were 100% straight. I do know I saw one of them at a high school reunion and he was with a girlfriend or wife, but that doesn’t guarantee absolute heterosexuality either. The other boy I lost touch with, though at the time he said he was straight, and my gaydar didn’t disagree. Also, although I consider myself gay, I considered myself bi at the time. I had a few girlfriends as a kid and didn’t hate having sex with them— I just realized after experimenting with both sexes that the male gender was what really turned me on and made me feel head-over-heels in love.
Anyway, one of them I cuddled with on the couch at a small party of his friends’. I think I remember stroking his arms, head, and holding him a bit with my arm around his shoulder. He said “this is nice.” The other one was when we had to share a twin (or full at most) bed during a out-of-town school activity. I didn’t even know the term spoon at the time, but I remember the bed was so small — and I so wanted a cuddle — that I asked if I could curl up around him. He said yes and then “this is pleasant.”
With both boys it was totally platonic, and they enjoyed it. I hope that answers the question a bit more directly, albeit from the point of view of a man who straight men have cuddled with.
For anyone considering this, may I suggest partner dancing as a stepping stone (after the pandemic is over)? In some dance communities, even if there are traditionally gendered dance roles--"men lead, women follow", for instance--there is a movement toward making dance roles more gender-neutral, and encouraging everyone to dance with everyone else. It might be a good way to test the waters to see if sharing touch with another man is enjoyable. Beginner lessons/workshops in particular should be a safe place to try this.
99% of the time, I only ask women to dance, but as a rule I will not turn down an invitation to dance unless I already have a partner or I need to rest. So, having danced with a number of men, I have found that level of touch to range from tolerable to pleasant, but also determined that I would probably not enjoy touch that is more intense than that with another man.
Thank you all for sharing, there are so many awesome experiences and points of views shared. I am masculine, Straight and have no problems finding female cuddle buddies/dates. I am secure enough in who I am and can enjoy platonic cuddles with close male friends too, regardless of orientation (and have before). I have also cuddled women of many different types of sexual orientations (including predominately Lesbian). What made the experience fun was level of trust, acceptance, open mind and connection. I believe that whether or not to cuddle someone based on gender is a personal choice and should not be pressured. To each their own.
I have to say, from reading some of the "battle of the sexes" type of discussion posts lately, it seems to me that if straight men on this site were willing to cuddle each other, it would solve a lot of the complaints both the men and women have brought up. I am not trying to "promote the homosexual agenda" here or be self-serving. Yes, I would like to cuddle men, but I would also like to cuddle women or, really, people of any gender. Right now I'm not cuddling anyone except my husband due to COVID-19 and the fact that my hubby is still grappling with my relatively new announcement that I would like to cuddle with people outside of our marriage. But if I were cuddling, I would be willing to wager the following dare: for every straight man who cuddled another straight man for the first time, this gay man would cuddle a woman. For the good of the order. 😇
Man saved his marriage by hugging 15 BLOKES a time at cuddle parties after wife threatened to leave him — The Sun
@nurturingman I appreciate your open minded viewpoints and thank you for sharing the awesome article!👍🏿
@sillysassy - yes one of those men was someone with some mental problems, so was comforting for him, just ok for me.