Nasty text from pro cuddler boyfriend or husband

Melancholy

Anyone else get a nasty text from a pro cuddlers bf or husband before ? It was really disturbing and it came from her number. So I haven't texted her back and she hasn't been online here since then either.
If that's her way of saying goodbye to cuddling that's not very professional.

Text back: "So you're cancelling our overnight session?"

I kid.

Seriously tho that's pretty sad in many ways, especially if you developed a bond.

Are you going to text her back?

PaulaDahla

If it is her way of saying she's done then yes, extremely unprofessional.

But as a woman I'm aware that when a couple fights and it's not sufficiently cleared sometimes the man gets aggressive and sends messages from her phone to someone he views as a threat to him, then deletes it so she isn't aware it was sent. Hoping that the threatened person won't ask WTH was that about. If no response is sent he figures he's won and gotten rid of the threat and she's none the wiser.

She could also be busy with life which is why she hasn't been on, or, it could legitimately be an abusive situation but I don't think a professional would be a good pro if she was in an abusive relationship. Unfortunately I've known women who's SO smashed her phone while arguing so anything is possible. Have you cuddled her before or were you just in initial contact?

Message her back. If nothing else just a question mark, or send a response of what was that about with a question mark. That will get her to ask what if she doesn't know he sent it. If she does know he sent it or if indeed she's in trouble you won't get a response.

Either way nothing you can do about it. Save the message just in case; for your safety and hers. Possibly leave a review stating unprofessional at the very least due to unwelcome contact from her SO. If she's still wanting to be a pro she'll reach out and ask what that was about, see if she can remedy it and get you to change or update your karma.

Just send a response. Either to the phone or her profile here, whichever way feels less confrontational to you. If things are ok, she'll respond. If they aren't, others should now of angry man issues if wanting to book her in the future. That's a potentially hazardous situation to put yourself in. Can you imagine being mid cuddle and an angry man bursts in? Oh Boy.

I honestly worry about that when I agree to cuddle married men. I don't need any scorned woman business on my body because I'm doing something comforting & innocent and she's not happy I'm doing it instead of her.

ubergigglefritz

There's never a shortage of stories to make me thankful I'm in a relationship with someone who respects me. He doesn't even consider it acceptable to raise his voice to me. :-/ It never seems good to me if you're in a relationship with someone who considers it ok to invade your privacy that is your phone =P

PaulaDahla

One of the reasons you're in my top 5 Pro's also! @ubergigglefritz

ubergigglefritz

Thanks @PaulaDahla So sweet of you! O:-) I looked at my (at the time) boyfriend's computer once when I was in college (I think it was emails). I'll never give into that desire to look where I wasn't invited again. It even made me uncomfortable when I tried to watch something on Netflix and it told me that too many people were already using the account, and showed me exactly what my (current) boyfriend was watching at that moment. I felt like I was spying on him =( Everyone deserves their privacy, even if you are in a serious and close relationship. We are still people.

Anyway, we all have our struggles in relationships. They aren't easy. I'm definitely imperfect. But any lack of respect or trust is something that should definitely be taken care of ASAP if you experience that in a relationship =(

MarvinNYC

Jealous boyfriends are a problem. Stay as far away as possible. Block her. I had one call and threaten me once -

calineur

It might be a good idea to keep communication on the website to avoid or reduce the chance of that type of situation. FYI: the phone number of a deleted text message or phone call can be retrieved from your call/text records saved by the service carrier.

PaulaDahla

They can be recalled yes, but not by your average Joe or Jane. Legal, privacy rules make that impossible for just anyone to do. So she wouldn't have any way of using that to check if her phone was hijacked by someone when she wasn't in the room.

Only a strong password will help her with that issue.

Sashamcgee

Sorry you got stuck in the middle of that! Reason why honest is the best policy!

Catloaf

I've gotten a mean text from a client's wife before, but I just didn't respond because of the way she came at me. Got a text from a number asking if what I do is real, or am I a prostitute. I say I don't know who you are and your question is making me uncomfortable along with the way you're approaching me, so I'm not having this conversation. Then the next message, I get a picture of a woman, and she says my husband was seeing you, and I'm his wife. "Now answer my question". She also said she could put my images everywhere on the internet and ruin me since I ruined her marriage (??? that's illegal, honey!). I blocked the number and told the client I'd unfortunately not take a booking from him again because it was obviously causing his wife distress, and I didn't need to deal with the drama.

The bad part is that he made it seem like his wife was aware. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of married gents do lie about having talked to their spouse beforehand; I have run into some that when asked, they're like "We have an open agreement" and often there is no agreement at all. I'm imagining this is not all that uncommon. Going forward, I tell married clients who are getting their need for touch met outside the marriage that they SHOULD communicate with their spouse before doing so but if they can't, or just choose not to, they are running the risk and I won't be held responsible.

EDIT: I just also realised this was about the pro's spouse or partner. LOL oops. Well anyway, my husband is aware of what I do and what it entails. He has never called a client because he was upset; the only time he ever did that was when somebody was prank booking and repeatedly calling the phone so he picked it up and the guy must have hung up once he realised it was a man on the other end. But rest assured if a client causes me physical harm or makes threats, my husband's got access to the addresses I frequent, and he keeps a metal bat in the car ever since we used to live in a bad neighbourhood. If someone happens to be an abuser, then the least he needs to worry about is an angry phone call...

CreativeCuddles

@chococuddles ?

Is it appropriate to leave her bad karma when the message may in fact been from her SO? What if he didn’t know she was cuddling? We can’t really understand her side of this because we don’t know her side. The only thing you know is the message came from her phone so I’d say just let it go because if someone else does have her phone any new messages from your phone might just make the situation worse.