I am new to this innovative emotional release activity. I just joined yesterday and completed my profile today. I am looking for a female cuddle buddy in Calgary, AB. So bear with me.
Hi @Mark007 , glad to see someone else in my city posting on the forums. I'm the only active Calgarian posting here most of the time other than @JasonCuddles. This topic is usually beat to death in here. Yes, despite what you are thinking it is entirely possible if one has control. Mature folks know how to handle themselves, and respect the person they are cuddling with. Erections are natural and they happen, but it doesn't need to be a big deal; hopefully we've all crossed puberty. My husband and I cuddle very frequently, and he does not get aroused anymore (mind you, we have been together 8 years so there's that; we kind of have that commonality and trust established).
I have cuddled with many gentlemanly clients who do not let sexual desires get in the way. I recently had a very close session with another guy on here who had me read to him. He lay his head on my chest and shoulder, and there was no reaction. We hugged tightly. Nothing there either. I cuddled with one person who has gone to Calgary's Cuddle Party for about 10 years now. I felt a twitch at my side, but it was obvious he was controlling it masterfully by diverting his attention elsewhere. I really respected that.
Welcome to the community by the way. It's my goal to get my city more involved, and that's why I'm posting the kijiji ads and such.
@Catloaf Thank you for sharing your experiences and point of views. I am a beginner and I know my emotional control can be tested with this activity. I didn't grow in a touchy-showy family. We didn't grow in a huggy-moment. We rarely say, "I love you or I miss you." I want to fill these half-full bucket of mine.
@Mark007 I'm sorry to heart that. Growing up in a touch starved environment and without familial connection is not an uncommon story here. Everybody has their own story and that is why they are using CC rather than going elsewhere. I can say for a fact that reading through and engaging in this community has definitely given me a fresher perspective on a lot of things. We are just a global family of people who know what we need. The first time I joined, I came in butting my head and with some rather bigoted opinions, got myself banned, and I laughed at the way this community conducted itself. Didn't realise this is a place where I can grow myself if I actively made the choice. I can't lie and say I didn't enter this world rather jaded, and not fully understanding what I was getting into. All that has been put to rest now because of some of the lovely, introspective folks here and the discussions we've been able to have.
Thanks for joining and don't ever feel alone here. hugs
@Catloaf Thank you for the encouragement and best of luck with our cuddling and healing journeys.
The answer is no, if the two people feel comfortable with each other and there is attraction, it is impossible for only platonic things to happen. The non-platonic stuff could be subtle or it could be more demonstrative, but it happens, trust me on that. People who deny that it happens are lying or have cognitive dissonance issues, or maybe are extremely unattractive. And if something non platonic happens , among consenting adults, who is to say there is something wrong with it. This is the real world, and that happens.
Surprise surprise. Makes a post like that and then deletes their account.
If you cuddle with me, not only is it totally possible, it's absolutely guaranteed—on my end, anyway. I am Kinsey's X!
Then again, @RomperStomper, I suppose I might just be extremely unattractive. Just look at my ugly face. Proof positive. [laugh] Your reasoning's a little off! Do you really think that if you were especially ugly you wouldn't think attractive people were attractive anymore?
Of course, there are different kinds of attractiveness... but I think we all know which type you're thinking about.
Other options: I might be lying when I say I'm asexual. I'm not, but I might be. It's possible. People lie. People lie about being gay, too! Doesn't mean there are no homosexuals in the world, just because some people say they're gay, and aren't. Or I might be lying to myself, refusing to believe that I actually do find people sexually attractive even when it's really obvious that I do. That's possible, so far as you know. It isn't the case, but you can't know that.
There's no point in saying that avoiding sexual attraction is impossible, unless you just really don't want to control yourself. It's entirely possible. Some people (like me) don't even have to try to avoid it, it's that easy.
It looks to me like you, RomperStomper, just don't want to try.
@Mark 007 "Is it really possible to cuddle somebody without creating a bit of sexual tension"
Absolutely; that's what I value about it. Being able to give and receive affection without having a sexual element creates an environment of safety where I can lower my guard and enjoy being close to someone. It's been a very cool discovery that care and affection is possible in a platonic context.
It is very possible to grow into a non-platonic relationship from a platonic cuddling buddy. However, if you are really here for just a platonic cuddling session...ignore any stimulation once it happens by taking breaks by doing something else or changing positions. You never know where romance will happen and when it will happen to exceed the boundaries of platonic or non-platonic friendship/relationship.
yup it is.
Huuuuhhhh NO
Ha. Maybe this should be a screening question for new users: if you think platonic cuddling is impossible, you can't join the site!
@DarrenWalker This actually should be a thing, as pain-in-the-ass as it might be for people joining the site. But if you're familiar with closed Facebook groups where admins approve members, this is often a tactic for keeping out trolls and people who are generally just going to throw feces everywhere. Could be very limiting, as a downside. I have reported two people in my area today, one who I have had experience interacting with on CU. I think he probably came across an ad I had up advertising CC and probably thought "Hey, another place where I can go and pose in my boxers and not show my face". He wrote a deceptively sincere profile; the photo gives him away entirely.
Welcome to the site, Mark! I too didn't grow up in a "touchy-showy" family, as you call it, so I know how you feel. The concept of even just a friendly hug wasn't something I was used to until my teenage years, but moving on from my tragic childhood haha. While it's perfectly understandable to grow sexually attracted to someone you cuddle with or to become aroused during a session, it's also possible to cuddle without anything more coming out of it so long as you have a good degree of self-control, remember we're all human beings here and we'll totally understand if you have certain impulses or thoughts running through your head so it never hurts to be honest with your cuddle buddy if you feel anything
I have had many pro cuddling sessions! Yes I have had some amazing connections on a spiritual level and physical connections and we have connected on both levels. Cuddling can be a sensual experience but myself and my cluddler have never crossed that platonic line. That's what makes cuddling so special its done in a safe space with no pressure other then the connection between two people
Short answer: yes
As a man, I understand having a high sexual drive, and a need for sexual intimacy. I’ve had a cuddle, where I felt the need for sex, and a cuddle that was entirely platonic. I guess it comes down to the chemistry. If you’re worried about getting horny, maybe masturbate as close to the cuddle as possible
@simontudley ?
@CreativeCuddles [shrug] Hey. Whatever works.
I should have added a shrug and there really wasn’t the proper facial expression for that one. Maybe more like ?
IMO I would say it depends on the person, for me personally I have cuddled lots of times in long term and casual relationships and it's extremely difficult for me not to feel some sexual tension. Also just ime the longer the cuddle the more tension is there. So short cuddle times may be best to start.
I don't think there's a yes/no answer for everyone, it's different from person to person, male to female, personality to personality.
Difficult question and I guess it varies person to person. As far as I am concerned, I enjoy the closeness of another human next to me.
I could accomplish the same thing by getting into a relationship, but that has too much emotions involved. I love and hate too easily and I have had too much of that in recent months, so I would rather just pay someone to be in my arms (I don't want to bother the female non-pros who are inundated with messages on this site), no emotions involved. I might develop sexual attraction, but I know that it would not be fruitful to act on it - so I just don't do it.
Yes, it is indeed possible. If one finds it impossible or difficult, then they might try something called a gonadectomy. It’s a simple procedure that can be done in minutes, from the comfort of one’s home.
Not only does it help with wrangling inconvenient sexual urges, but it’s environmentally-friendly, too. Plus, it’s cheap!
For most of us, be honest now, sexual tension and attraction is part of our daily living. It happens with a server in a restaurant, people you meet at parties, at work, church, anywhere you interact with people. The key is how you handle it, what you do with the attraction. If you look at the enthusiasts who seek a cuddle buddy, the characteristics they list for the person they seek are often identical, or nearly so, to the characteristics they would seek on a dating site. If you meet on a dating site, you might expect a goodnight kiss, hope to be invited in for “coffee.” The difference in a platonic cuddle situation is that neither of those thoughts should be seriously entertained. You set the sexual/romantic thoughts aside by replacing them with thought of the successful outcome of a platonic cuddle session. Maybe it is achieving relaxation and a sense of well-being for yourself and your cuddle buddy. Maybe it’s “good” Karma. If you can’t put appropriate goals in place, those less than appropriate ones come to the fore. The chances that you’re both on the same page when that happens are slim. One or both of you is disappointed at the least. It is possible that one is even feeling traumatized. What are you here for?