Younger professionals: what are your concerns?

respectful

I was just wondering about the concerns 18-20 year old professionals have, apart from safety?

I've had a couple of younger professionals cancel or delete their accounts after booking a session, and it would be helpful to understand if younger professionals feel particularly nervous about cuddling and why they feel that way.

(Not a blanket statement though - everyone is different).

Brandi

Following this thread curious to see what others say. Personally ive seen clients of all ages and I can honestly say from my own personal experience, all people are different and a certain age group doesn't give me problems. Ive had people come for the right reasons and others with something else in mind.

Catloaf

I wasn't far outside of that age range when I started at 22 (It's my 2 year anniversary on the 20th!). Not sure if that counts for anything but to be honest, my biggest hurdle was privacy. I stuck to reaching out to folks on Craigslist or other classified sites where I could anonymously provide the service. I avoided cuddling sites for a while because I was scared of running into someone I knew and having my intents misconstrued. I was suspicious. The communities were really, really small back then so I felt it would be stupid to chance it. I had a management job at a heavily frequented family establishment, and actually had some people responding to my ads who had names I recognised from birthday party bookings, buy and sell groups on Facebook, you name it. It scared me a lot, but as I became more confident in my business that fear dissipated and I realised, "Hey. I don't need to book these guys if I don't want to."

Also, people can think that because you're young you must automatically be naive, including other professionals who try to condescendingly school you. Clients might try to get away with things more as well, assuming that naivete. I like to give the benefit of the doubt, but a lot of younger people might not fully understand the platonic nature of the service, and it puts them off. After all, they aren't too far removed from that age where people are generally exploring their sexual identities, and so an activity like cuddling without leading to sex is something that is a bit more arcane. Eventually you might have an experience (or several) where someone is being handsy, and so you think to yourself, "What if this is just another way that johns are trying to look for prostitutes? I feel really, really lied to." That was me at the start as well, and it had me completely jaded for my first year.

The other thing is tons of college students in that age range are looking into this as a form of paying for tuition or bills and nothing more. When that money isn't rolling in fast from the get-go like they imagined, they can get burned out and discouraged easily. They might realise this isn't easy work, it can be emotionally draining, and they will have to be more than a stationary human body pillow in order to make people happy. Not really the right reason to get into this, but obviously it does happen. They might also decide that as a professional, they aren't finding anybody attractive enough to cuddle with based on their tastes. Wrong, I know, but I am just thinking about being at that age, and how differently I processed people when deciding how I was comfortable interacting with them. You can bet that at 18, 19, or 20, I never would have dreamed of any type of close physical contact with someone even in their mid-30s. Today, I'm a bit more grown up than that and it will never bother me because of the experience I have been able to gain since then.

respectful

Thanks @catloaf, that's helpful.

I also got the impression from one person's comments that they might be intimidated by someone with more experience cuddling, which I'm still trying to get my head around. Maybe they were worried about measuring up to other cuddlers?

Catloaf

@respectful That's entirely plausible and you know, it's funny you should mention it because that's a feeling I dealt with back in April, when I met a client who is even more immersed in the scene at the local level than I am. He has been regularly going to Cuddle Party for about 10 years now, and he is also good friends with a more established lady in my city who has done this for 7 years. I was definitely intimidated, and felt I wasn't performing to my standard because of that; I felt so insecure. I felt like I should be the client, and he should be the provider. Then I met someone from the CAPC (that's the Canadian Association of Professional Cuddlers) who I am now pretty good friends with. He has even met with Jean and Fei from Cuddle Sanctuary, and so naturally I was nervous and absolutely shaking in my boots. In the past I've been booked by a couple others merely so another provider could get intel on her competition, so I think that's where the fear stems from. Intimidation is actually so real for that reason, no matter how irrational!

respectful

@catloaf That's really interesting. I guess there can be an aspect of feeling evaluated as a cuddler for professionals.

As a client my attitude is, "let's just cuddle!" I'd rather they be relaxed and enjoy the cuddle than be stressed about how they are performing.

Catloaf

Right, and that's how I try to approach each session, at least in my mind. Maybe the presence of that feeling also depends on whether you are comfortable or uncomfortable with your level of certification. Fei did a live session on that topic and that's put quite a few of my doubts in myself to rest. I might go in respecting myself and my experience level from now on just keeping her words in mind. I am still trying to suss out which training body I want to go with in the end (think it will be CAPC), but it seriously made me feel better about where I'm at currently.

respectful

Aargh, another new young professional in my region vanishes. That's the second I've seen disappear in the last week (18 & 19 years old), with accounts that lasted only a few days. I wish I could ask them what's going on!

I'm guessing: too many messages (and too many inappropriate ones), second thoughts about being so close to strangers, realizing there is more to it than they thought at first ...

ubergigglefritz

@respectful Your guesses are probably all spot on. This work (if actually cuddling and not more; of course even sex work isn't for everyone either) is most certainly not for everyone, sounds alluring at the rate, but isn't as easy as it sounds. I absolutely love it, but I can see how it would make most people uncomfortable. That is, after all, one reason pros are needed and people aren't getting their needs met on their own ;-) It takes a special person to be accepting of anyone, see someone as a feeling human (no matter what they look like, say, do, feel, etc), hold a stranger close with a nurturing and caring touch from the get go, etc. It kind of goes against our human nature. It's normal and understanding to behave the way most people do. We are built to survive, and one of the things we do to attempt that is to assess situations and not let people in our space until we know them well. There's nothing wrong with being normal in that way. It just doesn't make for a pro that's going to last. Hopefully that came across kindly :-/