New Pro

fluffycuddle89

I would love to hear everyone's feed back on this. I have been reading through some other post seeing that its hard for a male to make it in this profession. So I would like to know from everyone on here what it is that will make me one of the rare ones that do make it. What should I look for as a Pro and what do you look for as a client. Perhaps some do's and don'ts of the job ect. all help is appreciated. thanks

Hmm. Well, reading through the "Cuddling professional yay or nay" thread may give you some idea of what's expected from a pro. A few quotes:

@quietman775
Pros are easier, because: 1) They are looking for a clientele, not just one cuddle buddy Thus, more supply to meet the demand. 2) They're in the business of providing cuddles, so they tend to be less fearful about doing it. 3) They are generally more accepting of a broad range of people, while many enthusiasts only want to cuddle someone they would actually date. 4) Many enthusiasts become unavailable once they meet "that special someone." Good pros stick around, regardless of their relationship status. For all these reasons, scheduling with pros tends to be quicker and more convenient. I should also add that, in my experience pros are less likely to get things confused --- they're not going to fall in love, imagine you have a "relationship," and that sort of thing.

@Catloaf
In many situations when dealing with people, you'd be hard-pressed finding someone who just wants to cuddle without expectations of leading into more. That's the need we fulfill and we take payment to do this work because otherwise it isn't sustainable in several ways. First, from a fiscal perspective, especially if you travel or include things to use in your session like a diffuser with essential oils or massage lotion for massage etc. Secondly, we are essentially performing emotional labour when we offer someone to get close and give them the opportunity to open up rather than being a glorified body pillow.

@ubergigglefritz
I like the boundaries and trust with professionals. And the attention to me, time to relax, and worry about nothing but what I'm wanting or needing at that moment.

Does that help?

fluffycuddle89

@DarrenWalker yes this is fantastic! I am going to go find that thread right away!

BlueIris

That thread applies to women pro cuddlers. The hard reality is, women typically don't pay to go see a male cuddler. There are far more men who are looking for a cuddle buddy than women, so there's no market for women for paid male cuddlers. It's generally well known that most male pro cuddlers' clientele are men.

It applies to both male and female. I mean, in that last quote, @ubergigglefritz was talking about the male pros she's seen. Whether a pro is male or female (or nonbinary), whether their client is male or female (or NB), the expectations of safety, selflessness, attention, etc., remain.

But yeah, male pros will be cuddling a lot of men. I mean, selflessness: pros don't refuse to cuddle people just because they're not attracted to them. That's addressed in that thread, too.

ubergigglefritz

Thanks for tagging me in the conversation @DarrenWalker

I have a male professional friend I met at the Cuddle Sanctuary training I went to, and he is having a tough time even finding people to provide free cuddles with in order to receive his certification. It is definitely tough, depending on where you are located in the country (or world). We are still in the infancy of this industry, and it's not routinely accepted as a form of self-care for anyone. Males give into the need (sometimes), despite this, because they are more likely to have difficulty finding someone to cuddle with. Women are more likely (though not guaranteed) to have people in their life to have platonic touch with, in addition to it being pretty easy to find some man to cuddle with them for free, so they are less likely to see the need to pay for it, because our society in general doesn't understand the need to pay for it. Related to what I was quoted as saying however, even if you can find someone to cuddle with you for free, it is still difficult to find someone where you feel safe, boundaries respected, no expectations of anything further happening, etc. In addition to it being time for all energy and focus to be on you, your relaxation, and your own needs. Women are more likely to be caregivers to other people (whether spouse, children, aging parents, occupation, etc), so this opportunity is very healing. It is because of this that I believe once the industry gets more accepted, women will be seeing professionals a LOT more than they are now. This is a great opportunity for women and a wonderful place to relax, be cared for, no worries about boundaries or expectations, heal from trauma, etc. Male professionals in particular are a great opportunity here, because women who have gone through trauma may see a female professional at first. Advancing to a male professional after some healing would be a great next step. The other great opportunity for male professionals to offer to our society is the healing of men (heterosexual men) to become more comfortable with platonic touch between men without fear of people thinking they are gay. The men I've talked to who have done this have expressed wonderful learning experiences. Lastly, like I mentioned in the other thread, I wanted to reiterate that my time with professionals (male and female) has been mind altering. I like cuddling with my boyfriend, but (real quality) professionals know their sh*t. There are a number of professionals I have cuddled with across the country who I would pay to cuddle on a routine basis if they lived near to me, and that is considering I have a boyfriend I get to cuddle with multiple times throughout the week. It just isn't the same. I think if you want to be a male professional, you need to keep your expectations low and not expect this to be a big chunk of income. But it's a great service to provide to people, so to be available for those who need you, it's a wonderful thing. Go for it

@ubergigglefritz, well said. I like having you in these threads.

Yeah, people need the expert comfort pros provide. And yeah, women are stereotypically expected to provide comfort, so yes, it's way easier for a female pro to draw clients. But yes, I think society needs male pros too. They have just as much to offer—and maybe more, to those who really need it.

@fluffycuddle89, I hope you get really good at this: nail the basics, improve on them, and help people who need the security and care that only the rare people like you can offer.

Ubergigglefritz is right, you probably won't make a whole lot of cash—but it might be worth it anyway.

Good luck!