I’m new to this, not even completely sure about it yet and am getting a lot of messages. What’s the best way to tell someone you aren’t nterested in cuddling with them? I know I could just not reply to their message, but I don’t want to be rude.
On failed job interviews they used to tell me "We don't think you're a good fit". However, any response could be taken the wrong way and give rise to nasty replies. So my advice would be to either not reply or just say "No, thank you.", and block the person so there can't be any come back.
There have been many accounts from women on the site who tried the polite “no thank you” and kept receiving messages insisting or wanting to know why and in some cases many women got harassed and got nasty messages for trying to be polite. So the best policy for women and their safety is to not respond to messages if not interested otherwise is like opening a can of worms. Nobody is owed a response on the site and is pretty common knowledge on the forums that if you don’t receive a response you just move on, pros or non pros.
Great, I appreciate the input from both of you! Thanks!
As a new member here, I will put in my 2 cents. I have sent out many requests, no one seems to reply, the 1st. thing I think, well, maybe my e-mail did not get thru-?. I was always taught to respect everyone, no matter what, so I find it very rude not to reply, if a person takes there time to send a message and I assume, most are like me, they took there time to read that person's profile, the least they could do is a simple reply, like maybe, "No thanks", then block them, the end of that discussion. !! What I have started to do is, BLOCK anyone that does not respond back, that is for 2 reasons, so in the future if searching for a cuddlier, I will not even see there profile. And if they did happen to contact me at a later date, I do not want to deal with anyone that rude, now, I know people on here is going to say I'm wrong, but to me, that is how I see it. I guess it so easy to hide behind a key board and do things that one may not do in person. Think of it this way, if you were out in a public place, and someone asked you to maybe join them in a drink, or pay pool, or bowl with them or maybe on a bike trail,, would you just turn around and ignore them-??, I would think & hope you were raised better, you would nicely say, NO, or no thanks, so why, we all as ADULTS, why can't we not to the same here. I have been stood up by several pro's & none pro's, when they did not show up, I would ask them if they got delayed, they never even would reply back, so I blocked them. I was able to find a very nice lady on here, she is a PRO, she was running late, she kept me informed very well, so that went great, also I got to meet a very nice guy on here. So there is a FEW good people on here., Good Luck !!
Cuddlesversed-- I totally disagree with your opinion 1000% . If someone has the choice what and how to word their profile AND puts in they cuddle "All" then it should be expected that a person replies that they are not interested, Its pretty common knowledge that in if you are advertising a service, you should have the common courtesy to reply " sorry not interested" and if they persist just block them. You are going to meet up with a stranger REGARDLESS so take a whopping 15 extra seconds to the ad THE CUDDLER POSTED themselves and write a simply polite reply. You obviously have never worked in the business world and certainly not the customer service world. To say you open a cans of worms is extreme and not the norm. You dont open a can or worms if you block somebody who doesnt take no as an answer. It's not rocket science , SMH
Delete profile.
They'll get the hint.
@cherbola - I know it can sometimes get overwhelming to figure out just how to word a response to someone you are not interested in. I generally respond to most messages, and often (when I have no interest in meeting them) I just say something like: "Thanks for reaching out. I took a look at your profile and don't think we'd be a good fit. Best of luck". I may add something like we are too far from one another, or you are way out of my preferred age range, etc.
I rarely get nasty responses/pushback after I send a message like that. Most write back and thank me for having the courtesy to respond. If someone approaches me rudely or inappropriately then I might choose slightly different wording.
@TempleDog61 - I noticed that the OP is an enthusiast cuddler and not a paid pro. In my opinion the guidelines are a bit different in this case. She is NOT advertising her services. She is part of a cuddling community seeking likeminded cuddle friends. She is under no obligation to respond to or cuddle with anyone.
My 2 cents.
When egos get bruised all sorts of emotions come to the surface. In a perfect world everybody would get a response from everyone, but truth is nobody is under obligation nor should they be thought of in a harsh way for not responding to somebody. Nobody here nor anybody else in computer land is under that kind of entitlement, no matter whether they believe themselves to be or not.
Pros who do not reply are of course under no obligation. But -- that still plays into the notion that it's not a truly professional service.
Any other provider of a publicly advertised service for fee who denies service to one customer but not another...? Um, tread verrrrrry carefully. If the answer is "I just didn't want to," someone could decide to make legal trouble. Didn't like the way they looked? Too old? Too fat? Too "ethnic?" Slippery slopes are...um...slippery.
Sure -- anyone in business has the right to refuse service; it's in establishing the reason that can land you in a heap of trouble, at least in the USA.
Part of being in business is dealing with chores, and if replying to simple inqueries about your service is a chore, so be it. You're a professional; that's part of the deal. Remember that for some people, just sending the message was a giant leap into scary territory...while a pro is, again, under no obligation, a little kindness and empathy are expected of this profession.
Just my worthless opinion. YMMV
(I remember enjoying the forums here...seems to be somewhat less welcoming and joyful the last few months. Hoping that passes.)
Spooner -- my reply was directed at Cuddleverse since he said many women on the site got nasty messages and harrashed and to me there is no way in hell were they all "Non Pros". So If I open a pizza shop and someone phones in for a reservation you dont just not answer the phone since you are looking for customers. No different whatsover when it comes to PROS advertising on here and not responding to a request with a 15 second "not interested" response.
And if you post that you Cuddle "All" then you really need to respond to each and every message regardless of what you think pmvines, Unless you are another person that doesnt have a job that deals with customer service and arent sure how the real world works ,,,,,,,,,,,,,
@Myrddyn - She's not a pro so your entire reply is inapplicable.
@cherbola "I know I could just not reply to their message, but I don’t want to be rude."
I think that's a lovely attitude ... I really appreciate it when someone replies to a message, even if it's a "no thank you" -- it gives me closure and doesn't leave me wondering. I also feel weird when I find out someone has blocked me; I wonder what I said that made them do that.
@TempleDog61 - I appreciate your response. But I still feel the need to point out that there is a very marked difference (in my opinion) between pro cuddlers who are advertising a service and charging for such service and enthusiast cuddlers who are looking to connect with cuddle friends. I can appreciate that it is frustrating to continually reach out to pros and get a non response - or to even write messages to enthusiasts and not get a response. I'm sure that gets discouraging.
As the OP is an enthusiast, I was directing my response at her mainly. I think it is easy to forget that not every woman on here is a paid pro. We certainly are not as active on the forums, but we do exist!
I always feel like it is enough to say "no thank you" if you really feel compelled to answer. Anything after that is not owed to anybody so you can always just leave it at that. Block button is open of course if anything comes after that, anything that is not invited.
@UKGuy -- so? I wasn't addressing the OP. I was responding to the notion introduced later in the thread that a pro can ignore messages as if they were an enthusiast.
(They can, of course, but my points are valid.)
If I were to follow your line of reasoning, your message doesn't address the original poster, therefore your entire message is inapplicable. Which, in a public forum, is a silly thought.
I was going to list my favorite ways of being rejected, but then I realized that I don't have any. There's no really wonderful way of learning that someone doesn't want to cuddle with you, no matter what the reasons are.
"No, thanks" is probably the best way to go. Not fun to hear, sure—but rejection never is, is it?
And it's not like you're duty-bound to cuddle everyone who wants it.
@TempleDog61 stating you cuddle all simply means men as well as women, doesn't really mean that they are obligated to respond to all, particularly if they are a non paid cuddler and particularly here in computer land (as well as the real world to be honest). Regardless of what is considered polite and what one would hope is done, it still does not make it an obligation and to expect it is an entitlement. Nothing to take personally, people don't always respond to you, it is what it is. You can spend your day being offended at things you cannot control, or you can move forward with your day to the next item on your agenda. All depends on how you want to spend your energy and what you choose to focus on.
@pmvines: And saying you cuddle "all" means you get to see me as an option, too!
...Though, of course, it doesn't mean you have to cuddle me.
@DarrenWalker I would cuddle you if you were up the road but i cannot promise a road trip
@pmvines: It has been said that it's the thought that counts. Personally, I always thought that saying was stupid.
But... you know... the thought is pretty nice. And, strangely enough, I really do appreciate it. Thanks.
Depends on whether thoughts remain as words only or if thoughts become action. That is what really counts, not the thought alone...
I don't think anyone is obliged to reply to an unsolicited message.
If you're new, you may be getting a flood of messages because of that. There's a good chance it will slow down.
If you really don't want them to contact you, block their profile.
I don't favor being rude. I also don't think we need to overestimate how much responsibility we should be taking for a stranger who contacted us on the internet.
@cherbola I had someone once say "No thank you, but I'm flattered you asked."
It felt like a very nice no to me.
I don't expect a response, but it's nice when someone does. I'm fairly sure I reply to those that have messaged me. I have yet to block anyone on here, but then again I haven't had any messages that were inflammatory or personal attacks. Knock on wood. For the most part, people on here have been pretty decent. @DarrenWalker , @pmvines , @respectful , and @chococuddles are wonderful humans and I appreciate their comments.
@onelifetolive , that's a nice response from someone! I might be borrowing your method.
Why do people play games if you’re not interested just say so . Direct and forward are best.
@Sideon Awe you are my sprit animal
I think it is best not to reply. I dont think that receiving a message saying "no thanks" would make the other person feel any better about it. Plus, they would have to waste time to come on to the site to see what the message is.
I agree with alexb2 , Just don't reply. Saying "no thanks" doesn't make me feel any better
I think I'd rather have an answer, personally, if I messaged someone to make a request of them or to engage them in social interaction. You aren't obligated to be courteous, of course, I just personally feel it's rude to ignore people--but then again, that's only my opinion, and besides, I'm a pro. It's kind of my job to be polite here, you don't have that motivation.
I don't think not reply is neccesarily 'rude' but perhaps it is. Guess it is n't being curteous.
I think its enough of a "no" without the risk of interacting with someone who can become enraged at rejection. Whilst I can empthatise when someone gets no responses. I've also been on the recieving end of too many unpleasant / odd messages that I choose to respond or NOT at my discretion. (I've had a repeat offender continue to harass me under multiple profiles after a carefully worded "no". Including telling me I would be blocked) So erm, whilst it's nice or sociable no one owes anyone a reply in my opinion.