Social anxiety

I have had terrible issues with social anxiety and shyness for so many years that I have blocked myself from physical closeness to other people. And I am very affectionate person. I love to cuddle more than anything. When I found this site I made an account, but then got so scared I deleted it. So I'm going to try again and hoping by posting on the forum it will help me push through the fear. I am so happy to have found this community ❤️

Davy75

Dont be scared stormvine welcome!
It's lovely that you came back - hopefully you will soon feel as welcome and highly valued as we all want you to feel!

KathrynL

That's so amazing of you to push past it and try again. I myself have had social anxiety in the past which was accompanied by awful panic attacks. Welcome and keep coming back!

EventideCuddles

Hey I have anxiety too. If you ever need to vent about it, I'm happy to listen and give reassurance

respectful

Welcome @stormvine! It's lovely that you came back. You said:

I am very affectionate person. I love to cuddle more than anything.

You definitely belong here.

If it helps to think about -- what would you most like to happen?

Welcome to a community filled with socially anxious people, @stormvine! (Don't be fooled by the façade: dealing with human beings lights my amygdala up like a Christmas tree.)

If you like cuddling, respectful is right: you definitely belong here. And I'm glad you're trying to stay on, because dealing with supremely confident people all the time is stressful, and so I'm always pleased when someone a bit less sure of themselves signs up—it increases the odds of my meeting someone who'll really understand, on a deep level, if I vanish.

Good luck!

Thank all of you so much! I feel a little less anxious about this just reading your replies. It helps to know how many of you struggle with this same thing and I would love to connect and talk about it. It hurts to deprive ourselves of such a natural need for connection to other human beings. I think what I hope to happen is to find a kindred spirit. Where there is a mutual understanding and connection on a deep level as Darren said. It's beautiful to find so many people in one place who love this type of connection

@stormvine: It is beautiful.

Um... is it okay if I send you a friend request, but maybe let you send the first message?

---

Edit: If it's not, that's fine too! Avoid stress where you can. Life's stressful enough.

@DarrenWalker yes I would really like that. Im feeling pretty encouraged

@stormvine: Yay!

Welcome, I think you're not alone in those feelings. I hope you make some good connections here

Lovelight

You are doing well trying again! I used to feel anxious/shy to even say "hello" to people I came across in person. Unless they did first. I found usually smiling at people encouraged them to say hello, then I could return. Though, sometimes, I just wanted to say "hello" and talk with people I came across. My mind was a battlefield. I thought then to write on a paper or, a little notebook to say "hello." Or: "Hey, I like your shirt/etc." Then I found I could not show/hand to them, either.

I am not saying to do that, this was just my journey. I took breaks. Tried again, and again. Along with simply saying "hello." After a long time, I made a goal that I will give a compliment to a stranger, or two. One day, I managed to walk up to a guy I was nearby, I said something like: "I think you are handsome."

He smiled and I think said: "Thank you..." Quickly I left. Slowly, I got better. I think you will discover things to help and what works for you best. Think of it like playing sports. Keep trying, you are bound to score goals.

A battlefield is a good description for the fear in our minds. I agree even saying hello is hard to do. To learn why we are afraid to allow ourselves to be vulnerable. And open our hearts to love and be loved back especially when we have so much love to give.

RyanLad

Well welcome back! I have severe anxiety and like you I’m an affectionate person so that’s mainly the reason I joined, and for this forum? I had a cuddle partner for a short time before and even though I was not the best with other people we had a good relationship and we still text now. So It’s actually a relieving experience even for someone who may have anxiety, it may even help them with it!

Red1Eyes

Everyone here has similar if not the same issues as you. Don't sweat it, buddy. We're here for you. Give any one of us a message if you're feeling off or if ya just want to talk. We'd be happy to help.

Babichev

@stormvine - Welcome! The folks in the forums are pretty nice and helpful. I hope you find what you're looking for.

UKGuy

I've avoided social situations my entire life. I was even uncomfortable at my own wedding because there were so many people there. Don't mention the word 'party' or 'get-together' to me! I'm at my best one-to-one with another person.

Bob58

I am new here. I have not cuddled in a long time. I am shy. I sometimes I have a hard time opening up. Can someone give
me some pointers or maybe a women could meet me and work me through it.

EwokLover

I have severe anxiety, so I, too, understand. I get anxious with a message from a new person. I get anxious with new scenarios. I was surprised that I did go out and try cuddling. I know saying don't be anxious doesn't help. It's going to happen. My "session" were surprisingly relaxing. Getting to know the other cuddler became easier and easier. Eventually, it was pleasant and I looked forward to the next cuddle. Even though I don't like public situations, meeting somewhere in public the first time was the best for me. It broke down my social wall if only for those few hours. Once I started the cuddle, it was relaxed and I felt safe. If you don't want to go into public, maybe just chatting on the phone for a bit before the cuddle would help you out. From someone who throws up every morning (ew) because of my anxiety, I was able to do it. I know you can too. Start out slowly. You got this.

Bob58

I am very shy. I have not cuddled in a long time. I am looking for someone to cuddle with. I miss that feeling so much.
Being shy does not help much. Is there anyone in my area that like cuddle?

TheFunCartel

Stormvine deleted his/her account. Too shy to follow through I guess.

@FunCartel: She might be back. Nerves can make a person run away a few times; doesn't mean they're never going to follow through and do what they'd like to. And if you're reading this, Stormvine—I'll be here! You can send me a message whenever.

great_pillow08

The VERY first cuddle buddy I met off this site, I talked to for 8 month and probably cancelled on him twice as many times due to my own social anxiety. Once I stopped "chickening out", it's been the greatest blessing!! I now have 5 cuddle buddies and I can't think of anything I'd trade them for!!! Good luck!!

inparadise

Thank you for sharing, @stormvine! It's a beautiful thing to move through the world and go after what you want despite being afraid! I dealt with pretty horrible social anxiety the majority of my life, too. Large, loud crows were my nightmare. And even though I have mostly dealt with it, I can tell that the more I grow, the more I appreciate my quiet time or reflection more than anything. I also didn't know how to ask for platonic human touch, or even know that I wanted it. Growing up in a small, white family, physical contact didn't really exist. It's been wonderful to explore my own needs and desires for intimacy while helping others understand theirs! I hope you find what you need here!

Babichev

It appears that @stormvine may have left the site.