Fetish

BabichevBabichev
edited February 2019 in General

Indulging in fetishes while cuddling violates the terms of service.

"Personal boundaries

You agree to never use this Website for the intent of meeting another member for sex. You also agree to never attempt to progress a meeting, organised via this website, to a sexual nature.

When communicating with another member, you agree to never indicate a desire to cuddle while doing any of the following: (1) being nude, (2) wearing only underwear, (3) kissing, (4) groping, (5) satisfying a fetish or kink, and (6) anything of a non-platonic nature."

Member contacts me and the word "diaper" appears in their screen name. Red flag. I ask why, they tell me they wear diapers. I ask is this because they are incontinent or because it's a fetish? I'm assuming the latter because most incontinent people would not be drawing attention to it by putting the word "diaper" in their screen name. They answer:

"I’m incontinent but it’s a fetish to relax me and stuff"

I really don't care that people have fetishes but I do care about them involving me in them without my clear and enthusiastic consent and it violates the TOS of this site. I suggested to the individual that they reread the TOS, delete their account, start over with a name that has nothing to do with their fetish, and not bring their fetish into cuddling with anyone they meet off this site.

Their profile hints at it as a fetish, too, though they are trying to argue with me about it, "I'm sorry, I didn't want to lie to anyone," they said about their screen name.

"Makes me feel loved and wanted and little again" Cuddling makes them feel little again? Said by a man who advertises he wears diapers? Lack of bladder control sounds suspiciously like an excuse, there are products available these days that someone else wouldn't even know they were wearing them.

Not sure if they are worth reporting or not but considering that the men I'm meeting seem like they are either interested in more than platonic cuddling or clueless beyond measure, I'm getting a little cranky.

Words of wisdom, anyone?

Comments

  • cease2existcease2exist

    If they violate, report.

  • pmvinespmvines

    I know someone who does fetish work and has a few diaper clients. I believe the person def references it as a fetish. People who are incontinent through medical issues do not advertise it on a social site...

  • BabichevBabichev

    @pmvines - :People who are incontinent through medical issues do not advertise it on a social site..."

    Exactly. They need to connect with the local kink community.

    @cease2exist - "If they violate, report."

    Yeah, they haven't exactly done anything. I brought it out in the open because there were clear allusions and they've admitted it's a fetish and they want to cuddle while wearing diapers. Someone not familiar with this particular fetish might not even recognize it for what it is. I suppose I can just let Mark know and he can decide how to deal with it. I told the guy he should not be dragging this into platonic cuddling and if he's truly interested in strictly platonic cuddling, he should delete his account and start over and leave it completely out of the picture. I think that's reasonable.

  • cease2existcease2exist

    If they admitted to it, there's the violation.

  • BabichevBabichev
    edited February 2019

    @cease2exist - You're right. This is one reason I appreciate the forums. I'm not eager to give other people a hard time. I also want to help keep this site focused on strictly platonic cuddling. It seems a lot of members either don't clearly understand what that means or don't care.

    I reported it. I trust that the admins will know best how to handle it. I simply described the exchange, still have the conversation if they need it.

  • 11rollover11rollover
    edited February 2019

    I have personally cuddled several different people in diapers...a lot. To be honest, I really enjoyed it.

    In fact, I still cuddle some of them occasionally, on the rare occasions that they feel like it. They don't wear diapers these days though, and they don't cuddle as much or as long, but sometimes they do want to cuddle a bit, or at least hug. It's nice when they do, being that they are teenagers now.

    Am I weird?

  • pmvinespmvines

    @11rollover No because you are referring to children not adults

  • 11rollover11rollover

    Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I was talking about my kids.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @11rollover I was certainly hoping you were not a priest discussing altar boys.

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24

    The diaper Cuddle was discussed last year . And I remember a pro cuddler posting that she would pay to see someone show up in a diaper for a session .
    I’m pretty sure she got some proposals in her mailbox

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @Babichev So you were looking for words of wisdom? Let it go. A site named Cuddle Comfort will attract those into Huggies.

  • BabichevBabichev

    @FunCartel - Huggies. I see what you did there. ;-)
    I got what I needed. The rest . . . it's okay.

  • CuddlingyayCuddlingyay

    I disagree, I don't think he did anything wrong. You are the one who asked him the questions and mentioned fetishes. He just answered truthfully. So what if he wants to or needs to wear diapers, it's his business. It's not like he was being disrespectful or sexual towards you. You asked him and he told you.

  • BabichevBabichev

    @Cuddlingyay - If someone has "diaper" in their screen name, then you'd better believe I'm going to ask why, just like I'd ask if their screen name was "BDSMguy."

    "So what if he wants to or needs to wear diapers, it's his business"

    It becomes my business when he wants to bring his fetish into the cuddling. You may think he did nothing wrong but it's a violation of the terms of agreement.

  • CuddlingyayCuddlingyay

    Sorry but you are wrong. Unless he asks you to change his diaper or something how is it your business what he is wearing under his clothes. Who says he will bring his fetish in to cuddling. Him wearing a diaper shouldn’t matter just as whatever you wear under your clothes shouldn’t matter. He hasn’t said anything wrong when answering you. So, are you going to start checking in people’s undergarments now? I didn’t see anything about wearing diapers in the TOS you also said he said he is incontient so is he supposed to pee on whoever he’s cuddling because wearing a diaper because he needs it is a cuddlecomfort crime?

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @Cuddlingyay: I wouldn't want to cuddle with someone who was getting off sexually. I don't care how they're doing it: if they're actually trying for arousal (using some sort of fetish or not), I don't want to cuddle them.

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24
    edited February 2019

    I would suggest not even responding to their message and just report . Besides , it
    Would be a fair test of their patience , if the diaper boy went silent while the website asks questions , all the while with diaper boy having full message privileges intact.

  • mickcuddlemickcuddle

    @Cuddlingyay The difference is, that the diaper wearer advertised his diaper wearing by username and/or profile. This would be an indication to me that some interaction around the diaper is expected. If one has a fetish that s/he practices privately or with consenting partners, that is their business. But in that the platonic cuddle concept is specifically absent fetish fulfillment, it is out of line in this context.

  • pmvinespmvines

    When you have diaper as part of your username you cannot blame a person for asking about it cus they are essentially inviting the attention and are obviously seeking to make it a focal point. I personally dont care at all if folks want.to wear them, just this site is not meant.for purpose of exploring a fetish. I am sure many people on this site have kinks and.fetishes and i dont judge for it. Just the context of platonic cuddling and fetish or kink dont exactly blend well.

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    What happens if a woman has a fetish for shoes and a man has a fetish for feet. Does she take her shoes off or leave them on?

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24
    edited February 2019

    @ Uk guy They can report each other at the Cuddle .

  • BabichevBabichev

    @Cuddlingyay - "Who says he will bring his fetish in to cuddling."

    He did.

    "So, are you going to start checking in people’s undergarments now?"

    Are you familiar with the concept of a straw man fallacy?

    "I didn’t see anything about wearing diapers"

    It has nothing to do with whether it's right or wrong. It's a fetish, the guy admitted it was his fetish, and he wanted to bring it into the cuddling. That's a clear violation of the TOS.

    If it weren't a violation of the TOS, then my reporting him would have been irrelevant.

    I think I and others have explained it perfectly clearly and if you can't or don't want to understand, no more explaining is going to make it any clearer to you.

  • CuddlingyayCuddlingyay
    edited February 2019

    MOD: Comment deleted. Personal attacks are not welcome on the forums. [SoulcuddlerZ]

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