Not great stats

Babichev

I was going through some my messages and was surprised at how many of the men who contacted me and with whom I've cuddled have been banned.

I've been on this site since last August. That would be about six months.

I've gotten messages from 60 people. Many are from out of town and their messages aren't about potential cuddling. Often they are commenting about something said in the forums. Those are nice messages. Some are from guys who are too far away to ever make actual contact and I'm not sure exactly why they are sending a message. About half are close enough to be potential cuddle partners or say they travel and most of those have expressed an interest in cuddling.

Of the guys who have contacted me for cuddling but I've never met, five of them have been banned. I did find them suspicious kind of suspicious and the fact that they got banned leaves me feeling like my instincts were good. Of the six guys I've actually cuddled with, four have been banned and in two of those cases someone else must have reported them. (I found their style too pushy but did not report them.) I've reported one guy who contacted me but I never met and he's been banned. So, 2/3rds of the guys I've cuddled have ended up being banned and six of those who contacted me but I didn't meet have been banned. That's ten out of about thirty. That's not great statistics.

On one hand, it leaves me feeling validated about perceiving that too many of the guys I'm meeting feel too pushy and a lot of the men on this site either don't understand what platonic cuddling means or are not really here for that purpose. On the other hand, it's also reassuring to know that they are being reported and not just by me.

This all makes it harder for both men and women to find good cuddle partners. Women need to be really cautious and sift through those with ill intentions and hang in there long enough to find a good cuddle partner. And the guys who are not behaving make it harder for the guys who legitimately want platonic cuddling.

It's unfortunate because I'm sure there are lots of people who really want it but have a hard time finding it.

mickcuddle

@Babichev your experiences might at least in large part explain why so many females either delete within days of joining, or just abandon the site, leaving an account to never be accessed after the first week or two. Sad, but (some) men are pigs. And one piggish man can scare-off dozens of women before he crosses a line that causes someone to report him.

Mark

This is interesting but it can also sound quite scary. So for the benefit of new users, I think it's important to provide some context to bans. On most websites people tend to be banned for malicious activity but on here it has a broader reach. For example, you can be an incredibly decent person but receive a ban because you were interested in finding romance.

UKGuy

It's not just men that get banned, quite a few of the women's profiles I've bookmarked in the past have been banned. I suspect most of them get banned because they are pros masquerading as non-pros. I usually notice two or three every week in the 'new cuddlers' list. There's a lot more that I suspect but don't report because it's not clear cut.

pmvines

@UKGuy My very first person i met from this site incidentally was banned. When folks are banned the karma they leave ends up disappearing too though it did take a little while for it to disappear. Really sweet with good intentions, we actually hung out several times after she was banned as well. Was not anything malevolent either, was something about a duplicate account and a misunderstanding over some messages she had sent to someone.

Babichev

@Mark - "This is interesting but it can also sound quite scary."

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be alarmist.

"So for the benefit of new users, I think it's important to provide some context to bans. On most websites people tend to be banned for malicious activity but on here it has a broader reach. For example, you can be an incredibly decent person but receive a ban because you were interested in finding romance."

Yes. And no one I met was that scary, it just didn't seem like they were truly interested in strictly platonic cuddling. So, thank you for providing that context.

I felt a bit distressed at looking back, how many of these guys got banned but by the same token it's reassuring that if people aren't abiding by the terms of the agreement, they are not going to be tolerated.

I do apologize. I realize that this could sound scary to newbies.

Babichev

@pmvines - "Was not anything malevolent either, was something about a duplicate account and a misunderstanding over some messages she had sent to someone."

I can see how that could happen. With these guys - some of the guys I never met sounded like they could be scammers. The others - I've often doubted myself and when I've raised questions in the forums, other more experienced folks have pointed out to me that when I've voiced concerns, they were legit. I think I'm learning to trust my instincts and also take more time to get to know people. If someone is serious, they should be willing to take the time to get to know a potential cuddler.

@UKGuy - "It's not just men that get banned, quite a few of the women's profiles I've bookmarked in the past have been banned."

I wouldn't know about that. I've had some correspondence with a few women and several have left the site.

"I suspect most of them get banned because they are pros masquerading as non-pros."

Interesting. I was checking profiles in another city because I wanted to tell a friend about this site and came across a guy doing that. I guess they are hoping no one will notice.

@mickcuddle - "And one piggish man can scare-off dozens of women before he crosses a line that causes someone to report him."

Unfortunate but true. Well, I'm still hanging in here and I'm learning as I go along. I really do appreciate everyone in the forums because I'm learning a lot from all of you. I would cuddle any of you in a heartbeat!