Groping, kissing on neck, asking to take off ur clothes

I had the worst cuddle session of my life. someone who did not respect boundaries at all. Did whatever he want
I tried to take control of overall situation. I constantly said no had to push his hands away from my butt and my breast.
I mean, as a pro would you just leave the session?
.
I had nightmares the whole night because of all unwanted touches that happened!
What else I could have done? Except saying no and trying to control the situation.
.
I feel so devalued.

pmvines

I am not a pro but I would have left, not just due to boundaries and respect not being adhered to, but also due to safety concerns. Someone that blatant about sexually assaulting you, and yes it is assault when someone does that without consent and refuses to stop, could very well end up trying to do more than just grope and kiss you. Entitled men who don't get their way don't always take rejection very well. Please report this person so they can be banned from the site, and go on the pro only feature of the forum and let the other pros know who he is. I am sorry that happened to you. Just because someone is paying you for a service does not entitle them to use your body as they wish.

PinkLipstick22

It can be hard to know what to do in the moment; thinking or talking about it is one thing, but once you're there you realize you didn't expect boundary crossing this flagrant to actually happen.

I'm glad you're safe. Don't second guess yourself or feel bad for not leaving right away. Next time you will, and take any time you need/talk with a therapist, etc. What that man did is WRONG and he knows that. Take care of you now, and know that good experiences here far outweigh the bad ones for whenever you're ready to return to cuddling. Definitely block and report, too.

pmvines

@Candy26 to clarify, when i say i would have left, i am not criticizing you for not leaving. I realize, as @PinkLipstick22 says, that it is not akways that simple when in the situation.

Jade25

So sorry this happened to you! I dealt with this on my VERY FIRST cuddle and I was PISSED. He was getting banned and just making new profiles every time and targeting different pros. Since then, I ALWAYS make sure i collect pictures from them in case they do anything, so I can report them and put out an alert to other pros. Collect your money BEFORE your sessions begin. If they refuse, then leave. This way, if they cross your boundaries, the session is now NULL and you can walk out with your payment.
Who was this person? Do you have any pictures of them so we can make sure this can never happen to another pro
Definitely make sure you report them.

BellaJewel

I went through this, too and unfortunately the fact that I stupidly drank too much made leaving immediately not possible. @Jade25 is right—collect your money first (she’s also in my city—I wonder if we were cursed by the same “winner” guy?)
I wrote to the admins a day or two later on this site and told them what happened and they banned him. Before he was banned, another PRO had my back, read my post and contacted him to tell him off.
If you want, look at my profile and see how I’ve tried to discourage the chances of seeing such creeptastic guys like this in the future. I have a zero tolerance policy, get my $$ first, and I’m not afraid to get up and leave if I have to say “No!” more than a few times. Remind clients that they cannot touch you where you would wear a bathing suit. I learned not to accept drinks from a guy at his house because he may have put something in it. On the other hand, I find it easier to cuddle if I’ve had something to drink. It gets easier with time. But I am still talking to my therapist about it. We are learning to “take our control back” she says. Please let me know if I can help:)

You should also go to the police. I was also suggesting on another thread that the website could require that all clients show ID and require that they use a picture in their profile. Ift's these guys are up to no good they will not do that. If the website won't do this, you can. Also, MEET them first in public, and you can ask for ID at that time

CuddlyPup

Id have left blocked and reported

MisterTea

When you say touching your breasts and butt are you saying under your clothes? Because if so I think that is a severe violation. If it was touching your butt through your pants I am surprised if that is over the line. I have not used a pro on this site, but I would think light booty rubs still are platonic. Hell I have been been spanked by coworkers before it doesn’t mean we were anything more than platonic friends.
The breast groping seems over the line for a session with a pro cuddler from the rules I read.

MOD: Touching another person's buttocks for most reasons, whether under or over clothing, would be regarded as sexual activity. When unwelcome, it would also constitute sexual harassment. But do we really have to explain that such activity would not be permitted during a platonic cuddle session? Banned. [SoulcuddlerZ]

Catloaf

When you say touching your breasts and butt are you saying under your clothes? Because if so I think that is a severe violation. If it was touching your butt through your pants I am surprised if that is over the line.

Under the clothes, or over doesn't matter. You are touching someone's private area, and the intent is what's over the line.

I would think light booty rubs still are platonic. Hell I have been been spanked by coworkers before it doesn’t mean we were anything more than platonic friends.

Friends, coworkers or people joking around who are familiar with each other is one thing. I think by and large most people wouldn't view this as platonic behaviour, and at the very most, it could be a grey area depending on the person. Sure, the butt is just another body part. But I recently read in a pro's thread about a man who cajoled her into using a massager on his butt because his glutes were sore, and he ended up moving the apparatus to seriously questionable areas on the body like the groin and inner thighs, and this professional felt uncomfortable. She actually was second guessing whether she was being too sensitive (which in this case, she was not, that behaviour wouldn't fly a second with me).

Here is why I think butt-touching is hard to view as platonic to me:

I was being touched at my old job by an older lady and she also made a habit of grazing me in an almost sensual, "come hither" manner whenever we'd bump into each other. There were a couple times she smacked my butt too, almost like a "joke". This was traumatising for me to experience, being that as a child I had been molested by my own grandmother for years on end, and her father once. I froze and could never say "no" when it happened. But I had to tell someone or else it was going to keep happening, so I told my supervisor. When he did nothing, I went to my district supervisor and explained the situation, including that this concerned me because I was coming to work and having flashbacks. He did nothing. They "concluded" (I don't believe there ever was a real investigation) that she was behaving in a "motherly way" whatever that's supposed to mean. She was feather-light touching my buttocks and my lower back and chest. I don't think that's "motherly" in the slightest. The body remembers, and the abused know when it's happening again. Too bad it fell on deaf ears.

MisterTea

I am sorry that happened to you. Sounds extremely traumatic.

Mike403

Send a copy of the rules when booking a session. If they break any one of them, just get up and walk out and report them. No second chances because they made it clear that they were looking for more than a platonic cuddle. There should be absolutely zero tolerance for people who don't respect boundaries.

BashfulLoner

That sounds criminal, don’t tolerate it. Mistakes happen, but what you describe doesn’t sound like a mistake. I hate these things happen. But i hope that pros and otherwise would stop the session immediately, explain your discomfort and report the behavior.

Morpheus

So what happened? Was this guy reported? Has he been banned?