Even in a densely populated area like SoCal, there are very few Male Pros.
Curious as to if there is a niche to fill, or if there is simply no demand?
No demand. If there were, you'd see a lot more of them.
Ehh, there is a call for male cuddlers, but not so much for male pros. The large majority of the men on this site are not pros and only want to cuddle women, so... no demand due to a free supply. If a pro is willing to cuddle other men, there's a slight bit more of a demand because it's rarer to find men willing to cuddle other men, and while there is an LGBT presence here, it's a bit... quiet in my experiences so far. I don't hear a lot about it.
It’s interesting.
I would think, on the surface, that Pro Men would be a bit easier to trust, relax with, etc.
Much the same way I will take an Uber/Lyft ride, but would never trust a random stranger that pulled up in a parking lot.
No niche.
I think the reason you see very few male professionals is based on the fact that they have to pay $20 a month to be labeled a professional on this site.
This has its benefits but a definite downside is you're paying $20 whether you book an appt or not. Whereas I was able to take a 6 month hiatus and my status remained and I owed nothing. Men don't have that luxury. So it's cost prohibitive if you are starting out and have no customer base.
@Sashamcgee
Really?
I only ask, because I don’t see that in the basic FAQ.
Is that monthly fee for male professionals further within the terms of service?
Oy I don't remember where you find it since it's been a year since I signed up. I do know that my bf just looked into it yesterday and there is just not enough activity in his area to make it worthwhile.
@ChalesTwisted "I don’t see that in the basic FAQ"
There's a bit about male pros at the end of the professionals section of the FAQ.
I think the actual fee isn't mentioned until you sign up as a pro though.
@respectful
Thanks.
A monthly fee instead of a commission per booked session.
Disappointing to see such blatant sexism.
It is indeed. I for one would use a male pro. From other threads in the forums I know that others would as well. It really is too bad to discriminate against men that way.
A lady does get tired of always having to be on their guard during a cuddle. It would be amazing to know that the person cuddling them has some sort of verifiable training and we can just relax into safe arms without worrying where a finger or hand might land if we aren't paying attention.
For me I would need to see some sort of proof that he's completed some sort of verifiable training though. After all, a professional isn't a professional until trained to be one no matter what the task or job is. Show me the paper and I'll show you the money. Cuddlist has many, many male pro's who do rather well actually.
@PaulaDahla
Here we are venturing into territory we’ve gone before.
I’ve found quite a few “training programs” or “certificate courses”, but I am brand new to this, and this seems to be brand new as well.
So, all I see are the zillion buzzwords of a sales pitch on various sites, but I have no clue which one is actually recognized with a professional curriculum, which is bunk from someone’s basement, and which is a massage school/holistic wellness center that will give me a “certificate” if I can sell a case of coconut and patchouli oils within a weeks time...
Being a musician, and an artist, I place very little stock in any “arts or performance” degrees that don’t involve Art History or Cultural History applications.
In both art and performance, which I certainly think cuddling is, you can either deliver, or you can’t, and all the scrollwork papers in the world won’t help.
The only reason to get advanced degrees in most arts is to get a steady gig teaching said arts, or to develop contacts, or maybe get access to the expensive toys while you are a student there.
So, all that being said, is there an industry “gold standard”? Would it be recognized 100 miles from where it was given, or by practitioners with certificates from different programs/schools?
I truly appreciate the feedback and guidance, because I’m serious, but also seriously lost.
I've heard from other professionals that the training is mostly on communication and a certain style of it. I personally have done none of the training so I'm relaying third party info.
Some thoughts about training for professional cuddlers ...
The best cuddles I've ever had were with someone with no training; I see her as a "natural cuddler". Having said that, @HugsFromFei (Fei Wyatt) had some good comments in her interview :
Obviously, nothing at all takes the place of experience. And all the training in the world can't make up for a temperament and personality that just isn't the right fit. That being said, while anyone can cuddle, doing professional cuddling well takes a lot more skill than people realize.
Besides being a caring person, there are cuddling poses and caressing techniques, skills around holding a container, active listening, compassionate communication and boundary setting, safety protocols, sound ethics and business practices etc.
The best professionals eventually figure this out, but not without a lot of trial and error. So many who come to this work unprepared for what it is end up churning out, or worse, endure harm. If they had training or peer support, they would be much more confident and safe. Plus, a good training program will provide opportunities for hands on experience (so you don't have to use your paying clients as guinea pigs!). In my opinion, a client should be able to expect a lot more skill and attention from a professional they are paying than a mutual cuddle buddy. I think we owe our clients the best experience we can provide, and every bit of training helps!
I don't necessarily believe that just because a guy is being paid to cuddle you means they are going to be that much of a safer bet in terms of meeting the other persons needs and not boundary pushing. Yes they have the cuddle agreement, but as with the women, they also have no real training or guidelines and a good number of them (not all obviously) see it is a way to make some extra cash. I would say too that the impulses, ego, entitlement, and other issues that typically factor in when a man pushes boundaries with a woman, don't disappear just because they are being paid to cuddle a woman. Yes, it being a paid cuddler does hold the person more accountable, but only accountable in terms of their standing on being able to use this website as a source of income. Not with society as a whole. It doesn't really mean they are a more highly evolved species of person.
I would do it except I don’t want to sift threw messages from men with pictures of their crooked penis attached.
Whoa, we got the crooked penis crowd here? I thought you would typically go to the Craig for that @denveromelette
?? straight penises are ok @denveromelette? ??
The United States government unfortunately got rid of the craigslist personals lol. You are lucky to be in Canada to still enjoy them ?
Sashamcgee a “straight penis” fortunately wouldn’t be sending a picture of their straight or crooked D to a male cuddler. Nicely played tho.
Oh no, they nerfed them up here too @denveromelette then the freaky deaky folks moved over to the community sections. I tried to start an ad up for a little community book and film club meeting once a week for 2 hours at my house, and I got so much wang in my inbox and no real responses lol. And now that I've checked the site today, it looks like they've found somewhere else to go, save for a few stray ads. The Craig is gettin' bagged!
Wow sounds like you were Hoping For Tuesday’s With Morrie and got Tuesday with Morrie’s uncircumcised penis.
@denveromelette I see what you did there. Well played sir tips imaginary hat
@CharlesTwisted
A monthly fee instead of a commission per booked session. Disappointing to see such blatant sexism.
The irony being that originally we didn't have website support for male professionals because it wasn't worth it with such little demand. Some people claimed that was sexist. We eventually decided to support male professionals but made it a subscription model so that the resources involved were worthwhile. Some now claim this is sexist. In reality, the male pros that are actually successful in their area will have it better with the monthly cost - they'll likely pay less for using the platform.
But to respond to your claim of sexism more directly, as I've mentioned elsewhere, it’s just numbers. You can’t reasonably claim auto insurance is sexist against men because of higher premiums - they have more accidents. Similarly, you cannot reasonably make the same claim about life insurance - women live longer than men.
The majority of female cuddlers will receive enough business that allow for a 15% commission to adequately compensate our costs. Whereas the demand and subsequent success rate for male professional cuddlers is drastically different which resulted in us taking a different approach.
@Mark
I’m not saying I don’t understand the business reasoning behind it.
But, if you have different fees, regulations, customs, or enforcements based upon gender, that’s sexism, or at best, gender discrimination.
This is a private business, so you have every right to do that, but it rankles.
And, I’m curious as to where the line is? Where do various spectrums of LGBTQ fall on your commission and fee scales?
Putting CC to one side, do you really consider the insurance industry as genuinely sexist? They are making decisions based on data, not prejudice.
I pay more for my car insurance than a woman with identical circumstances. I don't resent it. I don't resent data.
Charles your argument is absurd.
It’s a very complex issue, this defining reality thing.
My blunt answer is: Yes.
My simple, and simplistic rule of thumb is the Pronoun Test. If you change the pronouns, and the statement or policy suddenly seems prejudiced or bigoted, then it was prejudiced or bigoted the entire time.
So, using the insurance industry as an example, change the words male and female to Caucasian and Asian.
In matters that involve performance, let the effort and results speak.
In regulations and laws, discriminate groups should be defined VERY carefully (adults vs minors, for example) and everything else should be equal.
I have managed to make it through my “Actuary Nightmare” years with no car accidents, nor traffic tickets.
Where is my refund for being overcharged from age 16-45?
The more equanimous answer is to pool the ENTIRE data results, and charge a fee based on the average.
Again, that’s my opinion.
I am fortunate to make my living in a performance based industry.
I truly don’t care who I work with, so long as they can perform.
I support those ideals and look forward to when insurance companies have the technology to accurately and fully access people on an individual basis. The upcoming era of artificial intelligence offers some hope there.
Until then I suspect the status quo is the least worst approach available. I don't think it's feasible to avoid some people having unfair premiums and so the primary goal should be reducing the number and severity of those unfair premiums.
To suggest unequal outcomes based on raw data means the insurance industry is guilty of bigotry and sexism is something we'll just have to disagree on. I personally believe such a liberal use of those labels weakens the mission against the serious cases of inequality in the world.