Gotten to the point of having to state in my bio that I'm NOT a prostitute!!

This is RIDICULOUS! I have received passes from men, been asked for special favors, had my breasts and butt touched, and been given panties as a gift from clients. This is ALL over just a couple of months and I've taken a break from this for nearly a year because of it! Not to mention, I have now repeated several times all over my bio that I'm not offering non-platonic services or touching, that I'm not an escort/prostitute, and to even tell those reading my bio that they should actually search for an escort if that's what they are wanting!

I feel like many of them just want a cheap escort... I don't know!

I want to do this, but the issue is that no one in my area seems very cooperative!

Comments

  • edited March 2019

    @Dreamy_Sweetie I'm so sorry that people are acting this way and that you are having your boundaries disrespected and violated. I agree that it's super ridiculous. It's spelled out in the terms and conditions that we are not a place for these things. We write it in our profiles. We say it in messages. We could have it tattooed on our foreheads and they still wouldn't get it. That's an abusive opportunist for you. Those people are narcissists; they don't care. Fortunately, there are those of us who do and no doubt they'll soon be along to let you know that there are good, respectful clients out here... it's just far-and-few in between. At times you may have to wade through murky waters to get to them. It's not fun and it can get super discouraging, but you don't have to lose hope. Have patience. And you absolutely do NOT need to accept touches, gifts, comments, or suggestions you don't want. Nobody has the right to your body or your space and you do have the right to push them back.

    You are taking every precaution including having someone at the session with you. You are loud and clear in your profile about what you will not allow. I myself have hosted a few sessions at home with my husband in the next room. Even knowing that, I had two fellows who still tried to get under my shirt. They were out the door only 20 minutes in, and $150 later (I charged for two hours plus a $30 damage/liability fee).

    You are correct in that some men come here hoping to find a cheap sexual experience, and the sad part is, many are actually coming from those very sites where they should be looking for escorts. The point of purchasing sexual favours as a hobby is to look for the best deal and experience wherever you can get it. Hobbyists are dangerous to this movement. The only thing we can do is kick them to the curb. I have found many men in my area who are also on local escort review boards, and in one post on such a forum they actually talked about the platonic providers they wanted to try and goad something sexual out of. It made me sick to my stomach reading that level of toxicity.

    Seriously, band with the other pros here and come to the pro forum to air out this stuff and expose these people. We know where you've been. Nobody deserves this level of mistreatment. And make sure you're reporting them via their profile, as well as sharing their username in the 'Questionable Clients' thread. So that this doesn't happen to anyone else they may be trying to contact.

    We don't need sexual hobbyists on this website.
    We're here to heal and be ourselves.

  • @Dreamy_Sweetie I hate to hear you are still having these issues. Completely not your fault. I remember you had a thread re these same exact issues several months back. Please make sure to report them to the site admin, and spread their identities to the other paid cuddlers. And if you have been violated or assaulted i recommend filing a police report, if you are comfortable doing that.

  • An unspoken reality is fetish folk and escorts are the competition.

    As there are more and more online crackdowns they will flock to what they can get.

    Recently that seems to be the cuddling world.

  • [Deleted User]denveromelette (deleted user)

    Wow, I am shocked about the panties gifted by a client.
    I am also stunned by Catloaf’s account that men were ok with your terms of cuddling with your husband in the next room. The later sounds like a platonic cuckold situation.

  • Platonic cuckold? Lmao. Your colors are showing. My husband respects that I do this as a professional, dear omelette. I get my actual need for touch met by him, not others.

  • [Deleted User]denveromelette (deleted user)

    Yes, I have invented a new term- platonic cuckold. But from a client perspective I would think it a bit odd and undesirable scenario to walk into.

  • For the sake of safety I don't host in my home unless he or someone else is at home with me, and this is a huge deterrent to those who are either put off by professionals having personal lives and relationships out in the open, or people wishing to do harm. Neither of which I'd want as a client. Maybe it's a huge cut to business, but thankfully I don't have to rely on this to pay the bills.

  • I don't think I would feel very comfortable cuddling with someone's husband in the next room. that's seems really weird to me :) It happened to me once or twice that I ran into the husband or boyfriend of a cuddler pro on the way in or out...and that was weird enough. I totally understand your need for safety though. Its your life and you're perfectly allowed to what you need to feel safe...I'm just really grateful other pro cuddler's didnt' do that.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesTwisted (deleted user)

    If it makes the participants feel safer, and more secure, it seems fine.

    I will say, in the cases of partnered people I personally would want to meet the partner too, and get a sense of what the dynamic was.

    But, assuming I was comfy with the partner, and vice versa, then fine.

    Heck, join the party, we are listening to Silk Road Trance Blues!

  • edited April 2019

    This thread has totally derailed and I apologise to the OP. This will be my last reply on the subject.

    I get and totally understand why not everybody is OK with being in a cuddler's home while the spouse is present, even just cuddlers being married period, that's part of what makes for us having boundaries. Luckily I let my clients know from the get-go that I am married, and that if I need to host, he will be in the home. They are never led to believe that I'm not married and they are told he would not intervene unless I was in danger. We like having cuddle guests in our house, he enjoys that this profession makes me happy (when people follow rules, anyway). He's only met 2 of my clients though, sadly. He is a little more on the shy side with all genders, and is very much a keeps-to-himself kind of dude. We have that in common. I have just learned to break from it a bit. :) I wonder if people would feel the same way if they went to a massage therapist who operated out of the home with her own table. Probably not, but maybe I can't compare the two practices since we are much more newborn than massage.

    Also @denveromelette I was on my phone at the time of my reply and could not tag...re-read my comment and the auto-corrected "dear omelette" sounds like I was almost trying to be condescending or something. Anywho, from now on, I hereby dub you "dear omelette" since the omelette is the very sacred, quintessential all-included breakfast food to me. Have never had the Denver variety. Looks similar to a quiche.

  • [Deleted User]denveromelette (deleted user)

    That is fine by me. Omelettes are usually a good choice on any menu!

  • Back on topic - I come across an alarmingly large number of female accounts that are suspended or banned.

    Maybe that's where some of the prostitute vibe is coming from. Females and Pros playing a game other than the cuddle game.

  • @chococuddles it is alarming of so many getting banned, it’s also alarming i get that vibe from that haven’t been banned.

  • [Deleted User]denveromelette (deleted user)

    The moderators or whoever bans people and closes threads are doing the web site a disservice in my opinion. Plenty of perfectly fine folks get banned and run off. I wonder if the owner of the web site knows how much bigger the site would be if not for this?

  • They get banned for a reason.

  • I read someone’s post and that said they had to write in their bio they aren’t a prostitute. I had to do the same thing. The problem is there are women out there that are sending men menus on the side of what they are willing to do. I’m not a prostitute and will not have sex with a client for money or no money period. I hate that there are good people really doing it for the comfort and then those who are just undercover prostitutes using the site for customers. It makes it hard for the decent women who are on here.

  • @Lotus_Flower6 the unfortunate thing you and a lot of other pros are coming across is the thinking by some clients that once they get to the appointment " I can wave enough cash at her to persuade her to do things she says she won't do " or something along those lines. And the reason it keeps happening to you is probably somewhere along the line it's worked for them. But I would also say don't be discouraged and stick by your guns. There's more good clients on this site than bad.

  • This may be taken the wrong way which is not my intention. But I think by saying you are not a prostitute you are helping the people you want to get rid of. Essentially you are saying not me and they eliminate you as a cuddler but you are passing the buck. Instead, if they message you inappropriately you can report them and get them banned which helps everyone.

  • And the reason it keeps happening to you is probably somewhere along the line it's worked for them.

    This is very true. Undercover SWs who are selling sexual services here "teach" clients that you can look for sex here or cajole it out of someone who is desperate enough. Then, there are also pros who have weak boundaries or are people pleasers, and they don't know how to say 'no' to the behaviour or requests from sex seekers. Some will give into it because they feel like they need the money. Those are the pros I feel the most sorry for. I'm inclined to say that isn't their fault though, because if they were given a choice between having some other way to pay their bills, or breaking CC terms by booking with undercover johns for extra money, they'd probably go with the former.

    It's entirely the fault of people who come here and know exactly what the rules are and yet continue to skirt them or manipulate others into breaking them.

  • So there are hookers on this site and because I said that on another thread they removed my comment for being inappropriate?people are in denial.I bet a lot of the people meeting are doing the nasty here.

  • edited December 2019

    @Catloaf There's an old saying that goes " Doing something strange for a little bit of change " To your point yes people become desperate when bills are due or if they potentially have a family to provide for. Like in my original post it's even more evident this time of year at least around here , the amount of pan handlers increases along with the scammers especially online. There's stories on the news every night about packages being stolen off people's front porches and postal workers rifling through your mail at the post office for Christmas cards that may contain gift cards or cash. So it would only make sense that some pros who feel they have no other option would stretch their moral flexibility just to make ends meet. The clients who come here looking for such seem to have a knack for finding them.

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