Who has been having some cuddles?

garrablanca

Someone told me something that I think has so much sense...
She said to me
"Have you ever notice that the people that is having cuddles tend to be more happy and less aggressive in the forums than those that spend a lot of time in the forums pretty much fighting all the time, it's easy to see who is not happy and not having good cuddles."
Interesting observation.
What do you think?

JasonCuddles

I cannot say as I don't pay enough attention or have enough information, but there are a number of posts about trouble finding a cuddle buddy. I can imagine that if you take the time to sign up here and make posts, you also find cuddling is important to you. Not being able to cuddle despite the effort is probably pretty disheartening and makes people sad. Everyone will deal with that differently, and so some people are angry. Maybe.

Anyways I am rambling before bed so yeah, going to stop now.

Hmm. I think it's a fallacy. I mean, look at me: oldest of ten kids, loads of cuddles—super aggressive in the forums.

Of course, I am having a good time. Probably I wouldn't be this relaxed and happy (and snarky) if it weren't for all the cuddles. Without cuddles, my forum posts might (just possibly) bounce between "happy kittens!" and "I stubbed my toe today, woe is me, life is not worth living."

The type of person someone is probably determines how their forum posts are affected by cuddles.

pmvines

Sometimes debating a point is seen as negative. Like @DarrenWalker says, one can be very happy and also argumentative. Not sure I would make the correlation. I will agree that when someone is mean spirited and goes to the point of fighting instead of arguing or debating, there is likely something deeper going on with that person. But that is different.

pmvines

I personally get a decent amount of cuddles, yet I still enjoy a good argument on the forums lol, albeit the more benign ones. Once I feel my BP start to elevate or feel maybe I have intentionally said something to hurt a person, I try to step back and reassess the importance of things. Try to make sure to pick at and criticize the topic, not the person, though that is not always easy to do...

Esquire

Don't see a correlation. Had a fantastic cuddle yesterday.

TouchIsTLC

I definitely do not see the correlation - I get lots of cuddles and I'm a very happy person, but part of what makes me happy is good, edgy, divisive discussions on serious issues and I thrive with intellectual debate and conflict in general, so it's more about the person's inner workings and wiring than whether or not they are getting cuddled.

TheFunCartel

I do not see the correlation. I had a cuddle then I played paintball. So I do not see how going from blissful relaxation to active shooter is a sign of calm.

GiddyUp

I haven't cuddled in a while, but i've had plenty of interesting conversations. I'm happy !

hogboblin

My being aggressive in the forums is directly related to the phases of the moon.

cuddlebestie

Learning quickly that being “aggressive” in the forums means having an opinion opposite of someone else. ??‍♀️ Still getting my cuddle on. ?✌?

PaulaDahla

Well I agree. I really wonder sometimes how such passionate debate can come from individuals who have regular touch and connection in their lives. Or maybe they need a different type of cuddle then they're currently getting.

Following Darren's thoughts if these are comments from happy well adjusted, regularly cuddled individuals; I have to wonder then what type of posts we would get if they weren't enjoying the benefits of touch. Seat belts, NSFW, and censuring maybe. But honestly I really don't want to know. I am managing on average one free cuddle a week and it's real work. Both finding the person and fitting it into my day.

I notice such a benefit and change of my own attitude that I continue to work at it ~ I'm better for it. I still follow along but now like the majority, I'm the silent forum reader, I just don't feel the need to get defensive and confrontational any longer. Unless someone purposely is stirring the pot or behaving badly... I hate bullies of all types.

So yeah, I for one am happier and my posts have definitely changed since I'm getting regular cuddles. I think the quality of the cuddle makes a huge difference also.

Catloaf

I'm with @pmvines and @hogboblin (damn your username man, it gets me every time) lol. I feel like being argumentative isn't really an indication of much, but when pure nastiness comes out...eh, I'm tempted to wonder if one needs a hug or didn't get many in childhood, or has got something else going on if you catch my drift. Somebody who is severely touch starved might be emotionally neglected as well, so they might act out in certain ways.

Cuddles totally can have an effect on my mood and make me less of an aggressive person.

I just had a cuddle with my cat which turned into a two hour cat nap. Right now I feel pretty great, refreshed, and actually was able to get up and do some needed housework this eve. Normally I have my cuddle needs met by my spouse, but we're not currently living together due to my stepfather having cancer and needing care. I moved back home and while I love it here more than I do in Calgary, emotionally it's been hell. We talk on the phone every night, but I'm physically lonely, and the rest of my family is not receptive to touch at all. My two teenaged brothers will not let me hug them, and my mum isn't exactly a very touchy-feely person, but this partly comes from her experiences of sexual abuse in childhood.

I did have a little cuddle with my husband a couple weeks ago on one of my trips back to Calgary, and it was just what I needed. Still we like to have "long distance" cuddles where we are texting, or video calling and intently talking about how we're feeling and openly expressing our love for each other. We do a lot of talking as well about our spirituality and our growing journey towards faith, which I can't really speak openly about with my family. Being able to talk to my husband about these things which are becoming important to me and having them acknowledged really is a sort of cuddle for the soul, as well.

Those who don't get their basic needs met often are affected at the psychological level, and that includes touch and emotional validation. But I wouldn't glean anything from postings in a forum unless they were outright abusive.