Has anyone ever been burned?

First time Cudler here. I have probably very healthy and normal trust issues when it comes to meeting people on the Internet. I have made some positive initial connections with people through messaging on here but have not met anyone in person yet. Of course in my mind I have the fear that someone might end up robbing me or do something crazy while we get together. Has anyone had anything bad happen after meeting up with a stranger on here? ... and is there any advice for me to keep safe. And yes I’m a man but still worry about my safety.

Lev136

I haven't had any safety issues since joining this site and have met many cuddlers. Have hosted many as well.

The only time I had a problem was a few years ago with a woman on another site. She actually brought a mentally challenged woman with her to sit in her car on a hot summer day. The woman was also disgusting looking.

I had a very short session with the woman's "friend" there.

Otherwise, nothing. Just use your best judgement and you will be safe.

Lev136

Sorry , I had the mentally challenged woman sit in my home , watching tV and had a super short session.

pmvines

First and foremost, the people at the biggest risk for safety here are the women. However, safety for men here is a valid concern too. I hear about concerns voiced from the OP happening sometimes more so from folks met on sex sites as well as hookup/dating sites. I believe since the crackdowns on the sex sites and more folks from that world migrating to places like this, it is definitely a real possibility. I have heard stories from some of folks who frequented Backpage and Craigslist, so if some of those same folks are now seeking people out on sites like this, then sure, it could happen here too. Use common sense and try not to be too needy to where you ignore your gut.

Esquire

Start out on neutral turf, pay for a room.

HappinessHenry

Most often trying to get burning toast out of the toaster with my bare hands (I'm sorry I did not read the rest of this strand before posting).

UKGuy

Guys have paid for hotel rooms and the woman has not shown up. I've also heard of a woman who paid for a hotel room and the guy never showed up. If you meet people who have Karma on their profile, that gives you some reassurance. However, I would not discount the possibility that Karma could be fake, so it's not a guarantee. I'd recommend a non-commital public meeting first. You can assess a person much better face-to-face.

JasonCuddles

Yup, what UKGuy said. Meeting up somewhere public is a must for me.

garrablanca

Because the intense of the cuddles or what?
Not really everything was so smooth and tender

CeVnte

One time (other site) I told a lady where I worked and after a lot of conversations in text and phone I gave her my first name. Didn't meet her. She threatened to call my boss and claim that I was harassing her unless I send her a $200 Visa gift card. I had to explain all this to my boss. Not only was it humiliating but my boss indicated that my personal life had better not affect my business life anymore. I try to be super cautious now.

iloveyoutoday

Living in a murder and crime obsessed culture it has affected my fears greatly. They’ve turned my love of meeting strangers into a fear of death. Very real fear.

HappinessHenry

Only most of House Lannister's army by Daenerys's dragons near the end of the last series of GOT (you see what I did there?).

HappinessHenry

Yes. You are right I just can't keep away.

hogboblin

@HappinessHenry

It would have been more practical to make a general GoT thread, instead of limiting yours to cuddling. Shame.

HappinessHenry

Sage advice HG @hogboblin

At the time I did not have the confidence that I would not be shut down for starting a spurious GoT strand.

But having today seen the new Discussion "Set your sight on me!" I would no longer worry so much.

What they call in Australia "open slather" (anything goes!).

PlushandPerfect

What i have done to keep me safe is i have a trusted friend that knows where i wil be and for how long. If i am over by 15 min they call, if i dont answer 3 times they call the cops. Always have someone know where you are and realy get to know the person. Woman or man we there are always risks and we need to keep ourselves as safe as possible.

Catloaf

Exactly @PlushandPerfect, this goes for anybody you meet on any site. Even if you're too embarrassed to talk about why you joined a particular online community, it's best to have at least one trusted person who you can talk to in your life or even online who knows where you are and cares for your safety. I've heard of people on here who didn't feel like they could talk to their friends etc. about doing this, so they opted for an online buddy to check in with them afterwards.

softlyembrace

I have them send me a photo where they are doing a specific action, so I know it’s a current photo of them. Touching their nose, ear, chin, ect that way I know they didn’t just pick an image from the internet or 20 years ago.

Also, I have set an alarm on my phone that sounds like a phone ringing, if it’s not going well, or time to leave “I take the call”.

No problems for me thus far, I also am pretty picky. I MUST have peace about meeting them from their profile and messages.

Sideon

Whether pro or non-pro, there should be a back and forth conversation and mutual evaluation: what are the session goals, info about each other, and seeing if both parties want to meet. If all that gets navigated successfully, then meet face to face in a neutral place with plenty of people around, such as a coffee shop, hotel lobby, etc.

I've met some really cool people here, pro and non pro. But like the OP states, I'm also mindful of safety and red flags and always have a backup plan.

Good luck, @9starwisher9 .

TheFunCartel

Examples of red flags:

1. Hey do you have a knife sharpener I could use when I get there?
2. Can you wear nothing? Things are more civil when there is nothing between us.
3. I know a great platonic activity we could do. My hobby is doing death masks. I could practice on you.
4. I know my hand slipped underneath your panties. I have poor circulation and this warms my hands up.
5. I have something to show you.

Examples of red flag responses:

1 — Of course I have. I need my blades sharp.
2 — We'll be cuddling on my birthday, so I think we should both wear our birthday suits.
3 — I do scrimshaw! Make sure to shave wherever you want the incision.
4 — Be careful, I'm told there are teeth down there somewhere.
5 — I have the perfect set-up for you to get absolutely everything off your chest!

I'm a little nervous about being robbed too -- a secondary worry is if I make the person feel uncomfortable in any way, I can be pretty socially awkward but I just want a nice relaxing experience and I hope the cuddlee feels at ease as well. I'm setting up a booking with a professional so I'm excited but nervous!

HappinessHenry

Joan of Arc?

TheFunCartel

@pmvines I agree ?. One’s gut instinct is the best prevention against harm ever created.

TouchIsTLC

@HappinessHenry and lots and lots of women in Salem?

Brailleangel

Another red flag question, and this has happened to me more times than I care to admit.
"Can we have a session right now?" It states on my profile that public meetings are absolutely non negotiable, so why are you asking that?
Sorry, just ranting.

TheFunCartel

@Brailleangel There will always be those that always think they are a walking, talking exception to every rule. I ignore them until they are beyond the pale. Life is too short to waste time on these “special” people.

Brailleangel

@FunCartel Thanks for the encouragement.

TheFunCartel

@Brailleangel You are welcome. You may be physically blind, but you are more enlightened than people who can’t follow the rules.

PleasantlyPunk

@Brailleangel Here is something I learned in my cuddle training that has become something of a mantra for me: Yes means yes. No means no. Maybe means no. I trust my gut, and if my gut isn’t sure then the answer becomes no. This gets easier every time I do it. I have rules for a reason - they have kept me safe and comfortable in my experiences. I’ve found that when I bend them, things don’t go as well as they could. I’m not saying you can’t make exceptions, but make sure that they’re exceptions you can absolutely be okay with in that situation.

No is also a complete sentence. I am as gentle as I can be when declining someone, often referring them back to the rules they agreed to, but ultimately no is its own answer.

It’s not always easy, but I promise it does get easier.

ReltvlyCanshes

I’ve never been burned, and because of the nature of the site i don’t think I’d get burned here, platonic stuff and all. But i hear that there’s a shot to clear it up. I don’t know if it’s amoxycillin or something else but i think 7 - 14 days you’ll be fine. ??‍♂️