Smile!

Worthy

I giggle that a cultural expectation is that women should SMILE because when I look at the male profile pics I am put off by men who do not have smiling pics. And there are so many. Why would you not smile in a pic where you want people to approach or engage with you?

UKGuy

I know more than a few people who have perfected the 'selfie smile' who seldom smile otherwise. So I think if you are judging people on a smiling photo you could end up sadly disillusioned. And I've never heard of a cultural expectation that women should smile any more than men. I've looked at hundreds of female profile photos and in most of them the person is not smiling. Maybe they aren't smiling because they aren't getting enough cuddles?

Sideon

self-edited/removed

Lorelei

@UKGuy Ehh, I've been told to smile (particularly by southerners) an awful lot more than my male siblings, I can tell you that. To be honest, it always irked me. No one should be forced to put forth an air of positivity if they don't feel that way, and no one knows what people are personally going through.

In my case, I use to hate smiling in photos because I didn't like my smile (I don't particularly love it now, I've just gotten used to it) and I have a noticible gap between my front teeth, which some people may indeed find charming, but I never personally liked it on me. Mind you, I can be a very cheerful person, I just don't like smiling for photos.

UKGuy

@Lorelei - I would never ever ask anyone to smile, man or woman. I would consider that extremely rude. And I think you look perfectly fine in your non-smiling photo.

mickcuddle

I don’t mind photos without smiles. But so many men scowl, or try to look tough, or indifferent. Who would choose to engage with that. So it doesn’t have to be a big toothy grin, but how about a facial expression that doesn’t look like you’ve come to tie Nell to the railroad tracks.

pmvines

Personally with me, I don't smile a lot in pics but I really don't smile a ton in general, at least not more than a grin. I have snaggle teeth in front from when I was smashed in the face with a golf club as a child when my permanent teeth were still newbies. And I also have had Bells Palsy, which damaged the nerves on left side of my face. Not usually noticeable, but my left side of my mouth as well as left eye do not quite open as wide as the right. So a wide eyed gaping jawed smile just looks and feels awkward

TheFunCartel

@Worthy Depends on how you look at it. I would venture that 80% of these sad sacks are depressed, so wouldn’t it be fake and disingenuous to smile? Aren’t cuddles supposed to bring you in from the brink? So frowning is truth in advertising. So I look at it this way—if you are a woman and do not want to smile, then why smile? Hey, just look at my face on my profile pic—I am blue.

@UKGuy I think you are missing an American cultural cue. I have lived in london for 2 years and youre right, over there, there is no expectation of smiling especially in london lol, but here in the US women are told to smile all the time and it is a form of street harassment- another American cultural norm that is not seen as nearly in the UK as it is here.

BlueIris

I agree with the other ladies. I've been told I should smile by perfect strangers on the subway -- all of whom were men. It is definitely a cultural expectation in the U.S. that women should put on a happy face, it's definitely rude to order a stranger to smile, and it always irritated me when it happened.

But to come back to the OP's remarks, a smiling picture isn't necessarily better, but trying to look less like an axe murderer is. The scowly photo is shooting yourself in the foot.

reallifebear

I hate taking selfies as it is, and when I smile in them I feel like it looks creepy

@reallifebear:

TheFunCartel

@reallifebear Hating selfies is a good thing. It means you will survive the Grand Canyon.

ReltvlyCanshes

@worthy while i enjoy seeing women smile because it makes me feel good, I’d hope I’m not the guy that says something like “smile for me gorgeous!” But i don’t often do a toothy smile because it doesn’t feel natural, i mean if i laugh or something i probably would butsince I’m taking a selfie its

Toshibazen

@FunCartel I've recently somehow got to a link that talked about all the grand canyon deaths tsk tsk yeah man a good time to not like selfies for sure LOL

pmvines

I was reminded of this thread while eating at a breakfast joint today and a song came on that goes this is the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world. Though she looks so sad in photographs i absolutely love her when she smiles.

Women have physical expectations tied to beauty that men dont. The archetype is for the woman to nod her head smiling along, no matter how stepford it may be. And smiling is tied into performace in beauty contests, talent contests, etc. It is not lady like to be angry or upset or to show negative emotions. We have gender specific derogatory names that we reserve for those kind of women, whereas men are seen as strong, assertive, and stoic.

ColouredCrayons

@pmvines lol that song, good stuff. It was largely responsible for me to deciding to never smile. No one ever asked me to smile afterwards and I wondered why. Then I realized it was because there were/are double standards based on perceived gender. I'm over it now but seriously everyone should smile if they feel like it, even if they look dopey. That's why ppl have ugly dog contests, not everyone has to be cute to be lovable.

Lorelei

@DarrenWalker Got me to actually LOL again.

HappinessHenry

Smile...and the Seven Kingdoms smile with you...the Daenerys Targaryen way.