The cutest ones are the ones to be cautious of the most. ^^
Joking.
@CUDMELU I agree, good points as well.
I feel that in general we as individuals have a sense of if someone does us wrong that “it’s our fault, that we could’ve/should’ve done better”. This often faulty thinking then expands to societal levels in which we in general tend to blame the victim. This is not to say that people should not take steps to help them increase their safety. They should, and we should help each other with that.
For example. Say you meet with someone who you don’t even video chat with, meet somewhere public, etc., and you straight up went to their home. Telling nobody about who, and where. Photos of them, etc. Then that would for sure be hella unsafe for the individual. It’s a dangerous practice even, if nothing bad happened these times. Though, if something did happen. After attending to the victim’s needs, and that they seem okay: it is important to have that talk with them about how moving forward they can help increase their safety. It’s important to not blame the victims, though. Unfortunately, we have individuals who have no concept of hate, violence, etc., and so they think of the best of any, and everyone: it takes a lot of guidance to help them understand that not everyone is kind. While some safety plans can help. At the end of the day, it is the fault of the perpetrators for whatever injustice they cause. Even if any and everyone took these safety precautions:/perpetrators will, and do find a way. So, we need to remember that it’s less to do with what victims can do, and more to do with what perpetrators do. Also some crimes are said, that it is more likely to be done by someone we know. So getting to know someone “well” while in many ways it helps. It really depends on whether someone is evil, or kind. Does evil, or does good. Whichever way one wants to put it. There are some good tips around here, and I hope we all consider them.
@BashfulLoner, I refer you to @Lovelight: "The cutest ones are the ones to be cautious of the most."
You've got me on the sun rays, though. I can't ride those. Sunlight, ugh. It burns.
Edit: Found another bunny.
@DarrenWalker I think soaring through cloud 9 on your fancy jet, is the solution. ?
Your jet, is just one imagination away. Only question, can a jet reach cloud 9? Or do we need a more powerful aircraft? Maybe a rocket can? Let's be efficient, and not use much more than necessary. Proceeds to ask Siri how to get to cloud 9 ?
@Lovelight: I live in Colorado. I know a number of ways to make it that high. Gotta say—it's not really my thing!
I will walk through the dark of night, slipping through shadows like doors, to get where I want to go.
This thread was linked to an article online regarding the expectations an autistic person may have regarding working as a professional cuddler and referenced safety concerns and precautions listed in this thread. ( link below )
https://neuroclastic.com/professional-cuddling-a-safety-guide-for-autistics/?amp
Definitely some great tips within the article and this thread but there are many more which include but are not limited to using apps such as Life360, having a safety team with multiple people aware of your schedule, pertinent client information and location with designated video and voice check ins. Beyond this, training especially around safety, boundaries and consent can help guide and empower professional cuddlers. Fully support video chats, meeting in public, clearly discussing boundaries prior to a session to ensure congruent expectations, and reviewing karma ( reviews). Also strongly recommend anyone beginning this line of work consider seeking training or even a mentor to to help anticipate and navigate not only the safety side of things but other logistics. There are a wealth of online modules, certifications and resources available, many of which are imbedded within other forum threads. @cozygal is a pro based in Austin who offers an excellent mentorship and training background. She and @JayaVibes host Cuddle Tea, which is an excellent networking opportunity for pros and prospective pros who are seeking development, safety procedures, tips and much much more. @CuddlesByDeep is currently organizing an upcoming Austin cuddle retreat with a clear vision for cuddle therapy and more. I definitely recommend exploring this event as it will be a safe container for cuddle therapy with emphasis on boundaries, consent and wellness as a whole.
With the possibility of traffic to the site via this thread being sited as a reference I encourage anyone else who has safety procedures, tips, for pros / paid cuddlers with or without autism to feel free to share.
Happy and safe cuddling to all 😊
I chat with them online for awhile and get a sense of who they are. If we both feel like meeting, I’ll meet them in a public place. While I’ve had guys I’ve met on here get a bit pushy I’ve never felt threatened. I pay attention. So far that’s worked pretty well for me.
I should mention I’ve been a self-employed massage therapist since 1991 and I’ve been putting myself into a situation where I’m alone with total strangers for 30 years. My instincts for screening may not be perfect but they have worked well enough.
Safety threads always freak me out a little. I mean, I like that those who need the info can access it but, I don't like that by it being in the open, those who are predators have it too. I just don't like them knowing what types of measures to plan counters for.
I had a session with a pro once where we had a little tequila. The little tequila turned into a lot of tequila. Like…. A lot of tequila. As fun as it was, I don’t recommend any girls do this unless you know the guy really well.
I agree that you can't really know a persons intentions or what they are capable of simply by meeting them in public for 15 minutes before going to cuddle them in their hotel room. I have had cuddlers that were very respectful the first hour and then were very aggressive the second hour because they started to feel "too" comfortable. Unfortunately, meeting and cuddling a stranger you met online will never be a safe occupation, but here we are, because it exists and some of us risk ourselves anyway. Yes there are apps like Life360 that could help. Also, just like us women are fearful that we could be walking into a trap so could the guy, granted, more women get assaulted by men, than men by women, but you never really know until you know, because we are choosing to meet up with strangers and to be vulnerable by cuddling eachother one on one. IP addresses can be traced, but, they would only have to if you went missing, this website is not here to keep tabs and aid our safety. Right?
As men, have any of you ever taken safety precautions when meeting a pro or anyone else when meeting up for a cuddle session? Do you let some red flags slide pass? Just curious
@Gabriel2k I have always dealt with well-known pros, I suppose that being in Philly makes that simple. When I get the usual speech about boundaries, I feel more safe and secure. Somebody trying to set you up would probably try to harness the power of your own hormones and bad judgment.
@Gabriel2k I try and be very in tune with the tone of the female cuddler I'm interacting with, in particular any requests or suggestions they make that result in me feeling uncomfortable. I like to think I'm a good judge of people, so its worked nearly all the time.
@DelicateOrchid But are you fine if the cuddler do the same things for his safety ? taking your license plate texting to a friend etc
@android3665 she’s temporarily paused. I think it’s been that way for a while since this post was from almost 3 years ago. But I think it’s perfectly fine for any human being to do what they need to to feel safe. Usually safety is more pushed upon women and feminine presenting people because we are statistically harmed more than any other gender, but that doesn’t mean that men and masculine presenting people can’t take the same precautions to be safe. If I offer one of my male cuddlers a ride, I support him wanting a pic of my license plate before getting in. Makes sense to me. Safety is important for everyone 👍🏻👍🏻
@android3665 There are a lot of people in this world that don't know how to process rejection to inappropriate moves and requests in a safe, healthy manner when scheduling with a Pro. Which may lead to them trying to blackmail or intimidate the Pro in other ways.
I would say professionals are at a higher level of risk compared to clients when it comes to meeting others for a session. They may see more than a dozen people in a week, where we may just be able see a Pro once or twice a month.
My personal opinion is that no, as the client seeking to make the appointment, I can't justify being as invasive as a Pro should be when it comes to screening and having a safety net which gets to hold on to your license plate and driver's license pictures until the session is over and you are both on your separate ways.. idk, anyone has any other opinion on this?
I’m friends with @DelicateOrchid for a long time now way before CC. She will get a kick out of resurrecting this thread from years ago. 😊
@Sheena123 Yes you're right I didn't check the date, her comments just caught my eye, personally it's not something I would think about before meeting a pro but it would have been interesting to see her response if the same thing was applied to her by clients
@Gabriel2k Thank you for asking about the client’s perspective. I understand the desire to get as much information as possible about a client while giving as little information about yourself as possible. I do consulting in data analytics and I know how to find and connect the dots on nearly anyone starting with a single piece of personal data. I also know that while there absolutely are potential risks to pros, there are also some potential risks to clients as well.
There is an incredibly thin line between a pro with no karma and an enthusiast with no karma. While all of my experiences with pros on this site have been phenomenal, I would still insist on a video chat or a public meeting with any new pro who did not have at least a couple of karma reviews on their profile. Inviting a pro into my home, or going to an address they claim is their home, without having at least met them online (or even reading a positive review from someone else who met them) seems like a really bad idea.
Dear@Worthy please don't let anyone make you secind guess your intuition ever .I take things as slow as I need to and those who object immediately get excluded as a possibility. Nobody can tell you you being unreasonable about safety, most men don't have to constantly where we go ,when we go ,who we go with so don't really understand fully what an unsafe place certain environments can be so i talk for as long as I need , meet up in public ,then cuddle if it feels and continues feelimg good for both of us .I fimd others ridiculing or minimising your need for safety in whatever measure You need it .
Just a reminder that on some of these older (like almost 3 years old on this one) threads, a lot of the people we are addressing are deactivated, deleted, or possibly even banned from this site. 🤨 I don't know if that is something to consider when replying to older threads but just my thoughts. I have been here so long I can remember without looking those frequent posters who are now not active or members anymore lol. There are some I dearly miss. Best wishes to all!