Feel free to explain your reasoning.
I've briefly been thinking about this on, and off. Though, I've yet to really think about it, and come to my own conclusion.
In general, I think people give respect to those they think deserve it.
Who deserves it? Different people will answer the question differently, based on how they see others. When I'm given respect, it has less to do with me than it does the person giving me the respect.
Some people respect me because I'm a sentient being, just like them. Some people respect me because I can laugh at myself. Some people respect me because I can admit it when I've messed up.
Some people consider me completely undeserving of respect because I'm not cis, or or straight, or conventionally moral, or....
To earn someone's respect, you first have to know what they think deserves respect, then try for that. To earn one person's respect, you will have to lose the respect (actual or potential) of someone else; because everyone has different standards, and you'll never be able to make everyone in the world think you deserve their respect.
So respect is both given and earned, and in all cases except the case of self-respect, it depends more on others than it does on you.
As Darren touched on, respect is not codified and rigid. Matter of fact some people believe respect is a modern concoction void of any meaning.
“Respect was invented to cover the empty place where love should be.”
Leo Tolstoy
I think the respect given to others shows respect for yourself, and the opposite applies. So if you truly respect yourself you will always show respect. People can show they are undeserving of respect, but for a person to act out of character and be disrespectful show more about them than the other. I pay them no attention if the don’t deserve it.
For most, I usually shift between dislike and indifference—respect, even in its myriad forms, is rare for me.
I'm not sure whether I respect everyone, or no one at all. Both? Contradictory as it seems... it's possible.
Respect noone but yourself unless given a reason to respect someone
Of course, there are different levels of meaning for the word "respect." There's deep admiration. There's going (at least slightly) out of one's way to not offend. There's mild admiration.
In the sense of being polite, maybe respect everyone. Safest that way, no?
Short answer is both, so yes and no
Respect is used in two different ways, as is demonstrated by it having two dictionary definitions. Respect - admiration of a person's qualities/achievements and respect - due regard for a person's feelings/rights.
I think that all people deserve respect (due regard given to their personal autonomy, feelings and wishes) even if I do not Respect them (hold them in high regard). Excepting people I hold in contempt or great dislike, who I still think deserve to have their rights respected but maybe not their feelings, wishes or opinions.
Given until someone loses it.
If it is just given then you really do not know what you are giving it for when you do not know the person. For example, almost 100 years ago Ruth Goldstein said, “I respect you Adolf.” Then after an unsuccessful trip to a group shower sponsored by Adolf’s organization we assume she lost respect before her throat closed up. He never changed. Respect should be earned. When all human institutions fall it will be the ones who do not automatically give respect who will survive because they will be prepared and assume the worst until the best happens.
Respect as a human being should be given. Respect as an authority should be earned.
Earned vs Given: Are they really mutually exclusive?
In general, there is a minimal amount of respect with which I treat everyone to start out. This isn't to say that I treat everyone with the least possible amount of respect. Rather, there is a lower end limit; I try not to go below that line, below that boundary. I treat every person, strangers and onward, with at least that much respect. So, in general I give this amount of respect to everyone.
As time passes, a person's behavior does affect with how much respect I treat them. Whatever level of respect that ends up being, a lesser or greater amount, is the respect the person has earned.
I think one element to receiving respect is giving respect to others.
Respect is never automatically given with people you do not know though there are some that swear they do. But everyone judges...it is human nature. For instance, if I see someone wearing a ubiquitous red and white hat with an acronym starting with the letter M on their head I am starting at 0 on the respect scale.
Respect is not the same thing as acceptance. I think some people are confusing the two. Respect has to be earned but not necessarily from me. Someone can earn my respect by doing something noble or clever for someone else or some other cause. I dont expect anyone to respect me, nor would I go out of my way to earn it. That's probably a British thing. We tend not to be comfortable with any kind of approbation.
@UKGuy I do not believe that is purely a British thing. Many of us were brought up believing that. Blind respect is not really respect....it just sounds kind, but it is neither true nor tested.