Attraction and sadness

adorable48adorable48
edited July 2019 in General

Has anyone ever experienced real connection and attraction to their cuddler and real sadness after having left the session ? I don’t mean physical stuff. I mean real connection. How did you handle it? Did you talk to your cuddler about it after the session? Do you leave it be if they are a pro ?

Comments

  • HugsAndAttitudeHugsAndAttitude

    I have only had two sessions and both ladies were nothing to fall for.

  • CuddlyRetireeCuddlyRetiree
    edited June 2025

    If you are looking for some long term emotional connection for a relationship beyond cuddling then I think you should not expect that here. Regardless of whether they are a cuddling enthusiast or a pro.

  • MelancholyMelancholy

    The op did not say he is expecting that steve so your comment is off.

  • [Deleted User]Zundar (deleted user)
    edited July 2019

    If you're talking about a strong emotional bond (or what feels like one) then I'd not be surprised to hear that a number of cuddle-starved cuddlers get that after their first cuddle in a while, or the same for ones who don't open up much but had some kind of "real talk" with their cuddling partner. It's quite natural for the mind to latch onto people like this after being deprived, but that doesn't mean the connection is "real".

    Emotions are tricky things, and can easily get shoved in there where they aren't welcome. I won't deny the possibility of forming an intense emotional connection with someone in a short span of time, but from my own personal experiences and ones I've heard about they're generally not to be trusted as being too reflective of reality. Oh so many tales of "love at first sight" that end badly and of people having an immediate dislike/hatred for someone else with no sensible reason.

    One example was a friend or someone I thought was a friend, we talked pretty regularly about everyday stuff for weeks without much of a connection going on. Just random chatter, then one night we both ended up staying up really late (4-5AM) in a call talking about all kinds of things - past relationships, emotional issues, insecurities, etc - and I felt I'd both gained a deep understanding of them and that they'd gained an understanding of me. It wasn't the case for them, it was just more chatter on different topics, the feeling was 100% one sided and as such was basically meaningless. Connections go both ways - emotions can go one or both and that's exactly what this was, just a phantom feeling that had no real grounding in reality.

  • RaindropSweetieRaindropSweetie

    I definitely feel this with some of the people I cuddle. We are in a open and vulnerable moment together. If our personalities hit it off, that makes it even more intense. How you handle it after... I would go for a reserved approach. Respect that this is a more formal relationship. Without meeting your cuddler, I do not know how they would take it if you put too much out there. It might make them uncomfortable? The best response has been for both people to really express how much they enjoyed the session.

    I agree with Zundar. Cuddling induces the same hormones that cause bonding and attraction with others. While they are great for your health and well being, they do not necessarily mean that this connection will last or work out in everyday life.

    I hope that makes sense and helps.

  • adorable48adorable48

    @melancholy thank you for understanding what I meant. @RaindropSweetie. It’s difficult to do it that way, but I agree with you that the reserved approach is probably best. The sadness feeling is strange to me. I don’t totally understand it.

  • respectfulrespectful
    edited July 2019

    @adorable48 Here is a related thread that may be helpful:

    Do you feel sad after your cuddling session is over?

  • adorable48adorable48

    @respectful that does help. Thanks!

  • taraslothtarasloth
    edited July 2019

    @adorable48 the chemicals in our brains can be such cruel things. personally, i would want you to talk to me about how you are feeling, but i do not know that all cuddlers (pros or enthusiasts) would necessarily be comfortable talking about it. i consider myself a cuddle therapist, not just a professional cuddler. i have clients that i stay in semi-regular contact with between sessions, because they need that connection. i do not have any sort of degree, i am just a person who has a knack for helping others.

    as relationships of any sort develop (personal and professional), conversations should be had to discuss boundaries, needs, expectations and feelings. if your cuddler is ok with a text, just to touch base, maybe this would help you? The reassurance that you will see them again, that you do not need to be without touch or closeness might ease your "cuddle drop".

    i hope this helps a little.

  • boomerang86boomerang86

    You could simply ask the cuddler to do something outside of cuddling. Maybe go to a park or have a drink. If they say no you know they are not interested in friendship and can move on.

  • calineurcalineur

    For me, "cuddle love" lasts briefly and goes away once I cuddle someone new if not before. So you might try cuddling someone new.

    No, I wouldn't talk to her about it. After hearing her say: "Sorry, I cannot cuddle you any more", I would definitely feel worse.

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