Transitioning from enthusiast to pro

DeathbyChocolat

I’ve been on this site for several years but never started to actively cuddle until spring 2018 I’ve cuddled with over five people and have received good feed back Before I was on able to be mobile because I did not have a car but recently this past year I’m learning how to drive so I’m able to be more mobile so due to life issues and things I would be nice to get paid for a hobby that I like a lot does that seem strange or weird and if so has anyone ever transition from an enthusiast to a pro and how do you feel about that

boomerang86

If your a woman you should have no problem transitioning to being a pro. I have a feeling a lot of women on this site were looking to cuddle for free until they landed here and saw how much money they could make. If you a man you’d probably have a steadier income donating plasma than advertising your services as a pro.

I can't help but think that if you start out as an enthusiast - assuming that you came to this site with the intention of fulfilling a need that you had - and then shift to seeing yourself as more of a 'service provider' that something about the authenticity of the exchange that you were hoping to find has seriously shifted. Dunno. Not quite sure how to articulate it. I just get saddened sometimes thinking that most people assume that the majority of women come to see this is mainly a money making venture.

I can't help but imagine that the quality and authenticity of my own cudddling experience would be highly compromised if I were doing it solely for the $$. I'd be focused on the client's needs and less likely to feel like I could let my hair down and be myself. Would be interested in hearing from other enthusiasts on this topic.

luv2cudl2

@DeathbyChocolat - I'm glad you posted this discussion because it kind of answered something I've been thinking about. I even typed up a similar discussion topic of my own last night, but felt it would be received the wrong way. I did save it though, and this is what I had:

(Discussion Topic) "Are you a non-professional woman with a positive cuddle experience to share?"

(Body) "In my opinion, over 90% of non-professional women on this website have never cuddled with another non-pro. However, in order to have a successful cuddle session, there needs to be a ton of trust...."

Obviously, there was going to be more but I decided to end it abruptly. Basically, it was about non-professional women being too scared and worried to actually meet another person to cuddle with. Although, nobody will admit to either, it's very obvious that these are the reasons. However, I don't blame them for feeling that way because it truly is a "scary" situation. Personally, I've yet to cuddle from here (not by choice), but do know that I'll be extremely nervous when it happens.

Therefore, I thought it would be helpful if the <10% who've cuddled would share their success stories. (Yes, I feel 2 non-pros meeting to cuddle is a major success due to how difficult it is). It would be nice to hear details on how it all transpired along with your person thoughts throughout experience. Hopefully, if enough people share their story, it might help others to finally take that next step. Having just 1 person taking that next step from reading others stories would be a "success" in my book.

@luv2cudl2 - I am a non pro female. Been a member here for about 18 months. I've met several people in person and had about 5-6 cuddles. So, yes - it happens. In my experience, female enthusiasts are the least likely to be active on the forums. At least I don't. see them contributing very often. Maybe they cuddle more and post less, lol. Something like that perhaps.

luv2cudl2

@SJSpooner I definitely believe it happens, which is why I said 10% :-). Obviously, you are part of that small group that I wish everyone would be a part of.

Would you be willing to share one of your experiences? Maybe your very first one and how it went? I assume it went very well if you continued to have more of them.

@luv2cudl2 - I would be happy to exchange private messages with you if you want details about my own experiences. And just curious, where do you come up with with this approximately 10% figure?

Melancholy

It really changes the whole dynamic when someone goes from being a cuddle enthusiast to a professional cuddler....its such a strange concept to me to say that well if I can get paid doing something I like then why not....its like someone taking advantage of the imbalance of men to women when it comes to platonic cuddling sites.
I'll give you an analogy that might explain it better.
imagine you are a very smooth and great conversationalist...and you make friends easily without any difficulty...and you make friends with a shy introvert who has trouble talking to strangers and making new friends. once you are friends and you realize that this shy person really benefits a lot from being with you....would it be nice if you said to them sorry but you have to pay me now if you want to keep seeing me? The reason you could do that is that its easy for you to make friends, so if this one can't pay and you need a new friend you'll just find another one very easily....but this shy friend can't do that..and is desperate to maintain the friendship because loneliness is terrible....so they'll pay for it even though it feels bad to have to do so. Once you start paying for cuddling services, gone is any sense of mutual benefit. You'll always be wondering if this person is cuddling with you simply because you have money, or because of you.
When you cuddle with someone who isn't a pro...it feels pretty amazing because you know they aren't just doing it for the money.
I just think mixing the two is a bad idea....if you get plenty of cuddling from your significant other and don't need/want cuddling...then sure go for it, charge for it and be a pro. There is a need for that...but don't expect your existing cuddle buddies to be happy if you start asking them for money for it.

@melancholy

In professional service contexts of all kinds, if the money wasn’t there, the service provider wouldn’t be either.

Which isn’t a bad thing.

I prefer knowing what motivates a professional. It helps me to know that asking for specific ambience, cuddle positions, time spent, or even making the session all about me, is all part of the service exchange.

For me, the difficulty is in immediately discarding any feelings of connection, companionship, or friendship, that the session might have created.

By the time I get home from the cuddling/haircut/pedicure/massage/concert/restaurant I will have recited my mantra a dozen times or so:

They were a skilled professional.
It’s nice they were nice but remember, you were paying them to smile. Enjoy the exchange, but don’t think you have made a friend. They were a skilled professional.

ubergigglefritz

@CharlesTwisted Very good points. But also know that authentic and genuine professionals that do this work, you are not paying for us to care, you are paying for our time. If I did not get paid to cuddle, I would have to get a traditional job, and there is no way in heck I would have enough time to communicate and cuddle with everyone that I do in that case. I care for all of my clients, even when they are not active, and I care about people I talk to and haven't even seen yet. The care is there naturally. The payment allows me to do it as much as I am needed. But congrats on understanding the boundaries of the client/professional relationship. That's one of the hardest things in this work... 😞

It helps, I hope, that I’m a professional musician, and artist.

My music, my expression, would be terribly stale if I had no emotion, no passion, no determination invested into it.

In all aspects, from study to practice, from practice to performance.

But, none of that emotion during a performance, or put into a finished piece of work, is personal between myself and the audience.

It can be INTENSELY personal for me.

And it can be INTENSELY personal for them.

Which has nothing to do with it being a shared personal experience.

BoomerSpooner

@boomerang86 you are definitely not wrong. I see it all the time and it is why I am entirely jaded about any professional cuddler ascribing altruistic intents to what they do.

Christen

It didn't sound like she was uncaring or ny becoming a professional she would stop caring. For some people the world of traditional work is not a feasible way to make a living. Does a nurses aid working in a facility care less for her patients because she gets paid. And I use that as an example because I use to be one. It was hard work ,but being paid for it didn't mean I cared less. If anything I left that feild because I cared to much and could not give what I felt was proper care and saw to many wrongs being hidden.
We all do things for our own reasons and I don't believe transitioning from non pro to being pro is not a bad thing. It just is a thing for some people. Just because something is a service doesn't mean all caring is removed. I support anyone and everyone who is here. And while I believe it is a sad commentary on our society that people can be so touch starved I am glad sites like this are here to help them connect.