What experience sets an expert cuddler apart from the rest?

DonLonG

Spoon til Noon LLC

www.cuddlecomfort.com/DonLonG
a Platonic Friendship Service

Want to meet an indie-loving guy to mosh out with in the pit of life? Could you use a strong man with a slow hand to hold you tight during that scary movie? Looking for a hookup, but want to keep your clothes on? Spooning doesn't have to lead to forking. We're offering just that: a casual encounter that stays casual.

Ranging from 1 hour to overnight, Spoon til Noon provides a vetted, discrete, gentleman cuddler for all your snuggling needs. A marathon trained "couch athlete" who can help you knock out a season of Game of Thrones in one sitting.

Our name comes from the natural tendency to lose track of the time while embracing in conversation all night long until you fall asleep. It is a common occurrence to find yourself spooned until noon. No Pressure, no contracts, cancel subscription at any time!

We can offer you several custom-tailored packages to fit your specific needs.

Bronze Level The "Acquaintance" Free Trial*

Location: Public Place Food Options: Starbucks / Fast Food Duration: 30-60 minutes This sample package is ideal for: - Initial meetings, conversations, and generally getting to know each other. Includes an assessment to determine which upgrades work best to compliment your lifestyle. - Free hug (optional) *Limit one per customer

Silver Level The "Friend" package

Location: Your Place Food Options: Snacks Duration: Several hours Our basic plan includes access to: * Introduction to the Cuddle Sutra * Massage, back scratches, shoulder rubs * Intellectual stimulation * Complimentary chocolate mint * Pillow fight (optional)

Gold Level The "Best Friend" package

Location: My Place Food Options: Home cooked meal / Pizza Duration: Overnight Our premium plan includes the previous package plus: * Netflix and Amazon Prime streaming * Personal library of 2,000+ movies * 55in. HDTV, Surround Sound * Chai Latte, Tea, Wine, or BYOB * Comfy couch or memory foam mattress * Fall asleep in each others arms * Jacuzzi * Free wifi * Game of Twister (optional)

Diamond Level The "Boyfriend" experience

Location: Remote Destinations Food Options: Restaurant / Picnic Basket / S'mores Duration: All-day Our V.I.P. plan includes a season pass to Gold Level and... Take your experience to the next level with Extreme Cuddling!: * Holding onto each other in a hot air balloon. * Warm-up one another after snowboarding. * A day ride on the back of a Harley. * Teach each other how to ice skate. * Tandem skydiving. * Horseback riding. * Rent an ATV and go off-road exploring. * Protect each other all night from bears while camping. Also offering Rent-a-Boyfriend service for social occassions: * Get the family off your back during a family reunion. * Prevent pity from your friends on Valentines. * Protection from being hit on at the office Christmas party. * Make your ex jealous (optional).

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

Book an appointment in the next 30 minutes, and we'll include an additional hour at no extra charge! Ask about our refer-a-friend incentives. Satisfaction guaranteed. Not available in all states. International rates may apply. Please discontinue use and consult a doctor if snuggle addiction symptoms occur. Medicare not accepted.

This information is not copyright protected (c)2019, because Spoon til Noon is a fictional company. Although I personally can provide these services independently, this ad is semi satire because its a slow day on the forum and I was bored. If a real professional would like to use anything here for their own personal use, then feel free. I view imitation as a form of flattery.

DonLonG

The above was inspired by a hypothetical thought, if I ever were to become a pro, what services and amenities could I provide? I have not been to a professional cuddler yet, so I can only imagine what that would be like.

When I don't know something, my imagination goes wild. For my sanity, I have to ask a question for anyone who has been with an expert cuddler. What luxury item or service is provided that adds a "beyond expectations" experience to the session? Aromatherapy? Giant 2 person bean bags? A litter of puppies to join in the cuddle? Greco-Roman wrestling lessons?

pmvines

@DonLonG I don't know but your tech abilities frighten me

Sideon

@DonLonG , I am in awe.

cuddlerforu24

What Harley ... fat boy? Road king? ______?

SpartanGuy

@DonLonG

Idle hands are the Devil's workshop. Hope I got that right.

Evie

Dang, @DonLonG I'd happily trade a professional session for those profile skills of yours.

MissAdventurous

extra brownie points for the Spoon til' Noon name, catchy

SnuggsALot

This is fantastic 😂

Awesome ad @DonLonG. You have mad creative skills.

mb0

Nice work with the profile and this post.

To address your question, because I suspect maybe you did want an actual answer...

For my sanity, I have to ask a question for anyone who has been with an expert cuddler. What luxury item or service is provided that adds a "beyond expectations" experience to the session? Aromatherapy? Giant 2 person bean bags? A litter of puppies to join in the cuddle? Greco-Roman wrestling lessons?

Maybe it's unfortunate from a certain perspective, but I don't care about any kinds of services or amenities like what you have in mind, and I've never really been offered them. The things that matter are the actual physical act of cuddling and the human connection with the cuddler.

BoomerSpooner

@mb0 I agree. I really have no interest because I am limited by time constraints. However, that is me and I am quite sure there are a lot more people that are interested in the social aspect of extra services.

People are increasingly becoming alienated from social interaction because of technology, ideological differences, and fear. I can see where the social activities fill a need for some people. It is safe, they can control the situation ahead of time, and they chose the pro. That is a secure feeling for some people being able to do that.

Catloaf

@DonLonG

Teach me how to Markdown.
Teach me, teach me how to Markdown.

The funny thing is, it's satire...but your formatting, lordy. You would absolutely shine in pro requests with a post like this.

gentlesnuggle

Wow! I stand in awe. Very, very impressive.

tarasloth

you are brilliant!

i can tell you via feedback i have received from my clients that they appreciate my genuine concern, my ability to make them feel safe and to establish a connection. Even when i buy fancy pillows, and yummy smelling candles, these things seem to contribute more to my comfort than theirs. When i ask clients if they liked a new water i tried or the scent of a candle, these are clearly not things they have noticed, the common response being "oh...yeah".

BoomerSpooner

@tarasloth Guys, for the most part, are oblivious to esoteric details. In my job I work with architects and designers all day and it is very much a female dominated industry. I can throw a simple compliment at a female designer like, I like the blue in that scarf and the way it is heathered, it sets off the yellow on your dress, and they go over the moon not because they are flattered, but that a man even noticed details about their apparel at all. So I am not surprised men overlook the water and scents—I have been guilty of that myself. We do appreciate it, we just do not always verbalize our appreciation.

I’d cuddle you silly for that post alone. 🙌🏻🙌🏻👍🏻👍🏻😍😍

And OMG on the biz name... “Spoon Til Noon” 😂

tarasloth

@FunCartel that is completely fair and gave me a giggle.

AceCuddlerMike

I think spoon til noon is a mattress you can buy online?

Well done. This amazing. I am wasting my time online shopping while at work when I could be doing this. Just kidding, I could never do this. Fantastic post from start to finish. (tips her hat to you.)

natural_oceans

This is embarrassingly painful. I've heard of guys going to extreme lengths to beg for a cuddle but this is a whole nother world of hurt. And it comes close to breaking the rules against untagged pros.

DonLonG

@natural_oceans I just wanted to get the community talking and more active while infusing a little humor to make it more entertaining. I also wanted to try out markdown language and see what formatting could be done on this forum to give me options for future posts. I used to teach HTML coding and markdown is very similar to it.

I have no plans to be a paid professional, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to learn more about being an expert cuddler. I don't need to be a paid Uber driver to keep snacks and water in my car for friends/family/guests. I do it because I like doing nice things.

In addition to getting a better feel for the community, I was hoping to hear replies with some "Cuddle Hacks" that members have discovered to make it an even more enjoyable experience. And if it made my profile more noticeable in the process, well that couldn't hurt either.

I thought it was apparent that this was satire. I have not received any messages as a result. I actually removed about 30% content from my original draft while I was proofreading it because I thought it might be too much. Maybe I didn't cut enough out? Was this more offensive than I thought?

KeeleyShoup

@DonLonG I read it as satire and you explicitly state that in the bottom, so I wouldn't worry too much about whether or not it was offensive. Thanks for the good chuckle

I find myself wishing that more clients had read past the funny and really answered the question of what elements they value most about being with a pro. That kind of market research is gold for us pros. lol

From 4 years of full time professional cuddling, certifications from three institutions, and thousands of cuddle hours logged I can tell you a few things about why my clients come to me.

1. A Safe Container - The code of conduct or rules are in place by the site, but without someone to compassionately and expertly hold them, the situation can become confusing, uncomfortable, anxiety producing, or downright unsafe. As a pro, it's MY responsibility to establish the trust between us and have the integrity to honor my client by honoring the rules. My clients get to relax because they can completely let go of any worry that they might "do it wrong" or "screw it up" or "be fumbling/awkward"
2. Clarity - The transactional part of cuddling with a pro gets such a bad wrap sometimes. I see it as such a valuable tool FOR THE CLIENT. My clients don't ever have to care-take for my emotions. They don't have to worry if they are being selfish or self-centered by talking about themselves the entire session. They never have to worry about fulfilling any of my needs. They give back equally to what they get by paying me. They put a roof over my head and food on my table. I'm grateful for what they give me and in turn they get a session that is 100% dedicated to them and their needs without guilt or shame.
3. Coaching - I can't say the same for all pros, but I view this career as my life's purpose. I take continuing education seriously. I have been trained on how to teach people to set healthier boundaries, how to understand the subtleties of consent, and how to unpack the shame around desire and touch that the vast majority of society feels. My clients are able to work through some important things that enable them to make more meaningful healthy connections in other areas of their life so that they don't need to see me. Think of it as "Teach a man to fish" only it's teach a man to connect and cuddle with quality.
4. Presence - I'm being paid to give 100% of my attention. I'm not going to zone out and not listen while we cuddle. I'm not going to be in my head thinking about the million things I've got to do. I'm there for you and in that time nothing is more important to me than what is going on in your world right then. I've been trained on a technique called Deep Listening which helps people to feel seen, heard, validated, and valued when they share about themselves or what they are going through. I give unconditional positive regard to all my clients. The quality of spending time with me as a pro is higher than just casually hanging.

I find it so interesting when I hear people talking about this industry and putting importance on weighted blankets, or cuddle spaces that are just so, or watching tv/movies while snuggling, or even what positions are the best. The vast majority of my clients give ZERO shits about all that. What people want is much more vulnerable and difficult to admit. They just want deep authentic connection. The room could be completely bare with a simple clean mattress and pillow in the center of it and if the the pro can authentically connect deeply with the client while exploring touch they could have the best experience ever. Often times, anything else actively detracts from the experience. There are of course exceptions to this. People have a vast range of desires and I'm not shaming a single one of them. I'm saying that I notice the most profound impact in my clients when the fog of all the other stuff gets cleared away and they get the thing that matters most: to have their TRUE self valued and connected with.

elguapoblanco

I'm up for a pillow fight! 👍

CuddleStella

your post! amazing! lol

mb0

@natural_oceans Given that every other commenter here recognized that @DonLonG was just having a bit of fun, that he was neither advertising services as a pro nor begging for cuddles, I would humbly suggest that in the future you slow down and process before criticizing other people's words.

elguapoblanco

@natural_oceans Lighten up, Francis!

natural_oceans

lol

DonLonG

The way my mind works, I will get an idea stuck in my head like most people will get an annoying song stuck in theirs. Sometimes it will go away and become an afterthought, but after 3-4 days I realize the only way to purge it is to record it down. Sometimes its an idea I can write down, sometimes it is something visual I have to create in photoshop. Once I see it with my physical eyes, it disappears from my mind's eye.

My original idea that got stuck in my head for like a week was a Cuddle resume. Instead of applying for a job, I was applying for snuggles. Halfway through developing, it evolved into one of those stereotypical infommercials you see on late-night TV.

Once it was done I wanted to share it with the community, but I realized there was to much content. Therefore I trimmed a bunch of it out. My original had a 5th Corporate Plan called the "I know a guy" package. It would have offered business type services like Seminars to raise public awareness, workshops for pros to hone their skills and learn new safety techniques, professional "about me" profile makeovers, organizing cuddle parties, etc.

Other things that were left on the editing floor was I orignally had prices set to $0 on the packages, and a guarentee with double your money back if you weren't 100% satisfied. Also, I was available nationwide and Mexico, you just had to pay shipping and handling fees. I also removed a few slogans, reviews, and two additional cartoons.

Although it worked and I can stop mulling over this idea, it's not a cure. All it did was free up room to allow other ideas to take root and start growing.

DeathbyChocolat

this is well thought out and if i ever become one i will borrow this