This is amazing !!! I never seen so many good intentioned , pure hearted , polite and well behaved people in one place !!! 🙂🙂 you guys make me feel so safe and comfortable.... we should all ho to church together 😊🤗😊🤗 and do a cuddling orgie rigth after 😃😃😃
Amen brother @DrJames.
I always say that if you are you’re truest self then you will attract in you life exactly what you want. Which is why I haven’t cuddled yet, coz I haven’t found it. But when I do it will be awesome.
If you are fake, you will attract everything you’re not and do not want.
I don’t charge for wisdom either.
Awesome @cuddleguy1977 . Let's have cilantro too.
@DonLonG I am still cracking up at the secret police doggie poster.
@cuddleguy1977 i couldn't agree more with you brother . I have been blessed so far , because I'm a true believer in the philosophy of " giving is how you receive " in other words .. you will always receive quality if quality is what you give ...
To my lady cuddlers , be patient and be careful . Don't miss out on the beauty of the forest by focusing on a few dead and unfruitful branches. 🙂
@cuddleguy1977 I know, the pic is a treasure. It came across my FB feed right after I joined here. Gets a lot of laughs.
@DrJames as long as any of the dead and unfruitful branches don't sexually assault me, or push my very clear boundaries, I'm good. I'd never toss the gorgeous forest of male humanity out for the ones that need to go to finishing school before being allowed close to a woman's body. I'm actually thinking of starting that school honestly. A place where guys aren't ridiculed for being ignorant of basic human relating stuff and so get to learn in a loving environment. God knows our culture sucks at that.
@littermate bravo ❤️ Our culture really does suck at that I've been pondering the probability that s o m e of the poorly behaved would be cuddlers are the ones who need us most, but they're reprimanded and kicked out, reinforcing isolation and acting out. I do my best to provide loving and non judgemental guidance, but it can get so exhausting. We need help.
@Miabear I don't think you'll get much repeat business at $105/per hour for a cuddle, conversation, and nap session.
Would you repeatedly pay someone that much for similar service? Do you know any women who would book you at that rate?
I'm not criticizing your rate, I'm just saying it's way too high for the amount of business you want. I don't speak for anyone but myself, but I personally don't see it being worth more than $20/hour and assume most people get their "cuddling" needs met for free. How would you define your customer base for your services at $105/hour? Any women? Is it the elderly, ill, or special needs indviduals?
I can see someone occassionally needing this service because they're temporarily lonely, travelling, or heard about cuddling and are curious, but at your rates, you would need to pair it with professional level skilled services like meditation, yoga, massage, therapy, being a tour guide, dinner companion etc. Or you could try offering your services to a hospital or nursing home and possibly make a killing in terms of repeat bookings.
I don't think its fair to question the intent of your clients and take them as insincere when they said they had a great experience. Men are capable of having platonic encounters with women. However, men are still looking for female companionship and "energy". That's why most of the professionals are women and most of the clients are men. Its honestly none of your business what they go home and do afterwards as long as they treat you professionally and respectfully.
I don't think its fair to assume other professionals are breaking the rules. I suspect most professionals with repeat customers are doing their best to be attractive, charismatic, and provide intimate company. They're filling emotional needs for people who are, for whatever reason, at an emotional deficit.
I could just as easily make the assumption you're trying to gouge the pockets of emotionaly starved men and then judging them and making accusations when your session is over.
Are your male customers going to get aroused during cuddling? Absolutely. If that shocks you, you should find a different line of work or at the very least let them know up front if arousal happens, the session gets paused or ended.
Yes, there are occasional bad actors, just like in every single other aspect of life. Do a better job screening and setting expectations.
Overall, I think all the threads from other professionals over the years questioning the intent of customers or professionals are self-serving and intentionally provacative. It's like they're upset people aren't forking over $80+/hour for them to show up and take a nap.
So many of the threads in the forum are accusatory and judgemental while ignoring the absolute absurdity of thise niche community, which is probably a step below being a furry on the social hierarchy. If you disagree, then let me know if this is something you tell your coworkers about.
Some people in this community are asexual. Most are not. It doesn't mean the sexual ones aren't following rules.
Holy completely missing the point of the thread topic Batman
No, I'm not.
She's frustrated she's not getting more repeat business from her clients at $105/hour.
She's "wondering" if other professionals are offering services outside of TOS.
She's also "wondering" if her clients aren't being forthright when the they said they had a great experience and she's asserting they're going home to jerk off. Her conclusion being these said customers are then giving business to the professionals she mentioned earlier.
I'm saying she's way off base making assumptions about people's motives and needs to instead look at what's she's offering for $105/hour. At that rate you should probably be professionally trained and certified in whatever you're doing or have one hell of a gimmick or a ton of charisma.
She's also saying she hasn't met any "genuine" people lately. Well, I would guess her rate is preventing her from meeting more people in general, genuine or not.
Also, since we're discussing if someone is "genuine," then I feel its fair to question her intent as well. I she truly providing therapy (is she even capable of doing this at a professional level?) or is she fleecing her customers?
@bigcomfycuddler wow. Have you ever been to NYC? Did you look at the rates of most of the cuddlers in the NYC area? It is not out of proportion with other cuddlers in that area. It is just an overpriced city that gets more so every day. But her rates are not overpriced given the market she is in.
I'm not saying $105 is unreasonable for a single session.
I'm saying most people will not repeatedly pay that rate for a hug and nap session with the same person, regardless of market, unless that professional cuddler is somehow skilled or exceptionally charismatic and fun to be around.
Maybe if the client was in close proximity and had a severe and ongoing emotional need. I could see that being a case for repeat business.
She's basically insinuating she's losing repeat business because she won't be sexual with customers and that her customers (men) aren't booking her for genuine cuddling only sessions.
I'm saying she's probably losing business because her services are probably not worth $105/hour. If they were her customers would be come back more often.
She's blaming her clients' intentions, I'm saying it's probably her rate, service, and skillset.
We can't all be successful professional cuddlers. If that was the case, many women with terrible jobs would switch to cuddling full time.
I can't beleive how many guys jumping to her defense (actually I can).
Imagine if I registered as a professional cuddler (who only sees opposite sex) and charged $80/hour and even offered overnights for $500.
Now imagine if I started a thread saying I'm frustrated because I get little to no business or repeat business and then I "wondered" if my clients weren't being "genuine" because I caught a few of them with hard nipples or maybe some of them asked me to take them to dinner or something because what they really want is either sex or financial and emotional support, i.e. a relationship.
Would you support me in the same way you're supporting her? No, you wouldnl't. LOL.
@biancalovecraft you are my soul sister. Thank you.
Also, I don't think the "karma" feature of the website has significant impact on whether someone gets booked or not. Its just another data point. I have a hard time beleiving someone would break TOS and have sex just to boost their site karma.
@littermate @biancalovecraft
Bianca is quite lovely. I had the pleasure of conversing with her when I first joined. I think she’s awesome!
@PhilosophyL @calineur @eddie2sweaty @hugonehugall - I think you all made great points regarding customers possibly having temporary needs, limited finances, and an interest in booking someone new/different.
You addressed the OP's first few points about losing repeat business and assuming its due entirely to not breaking TOS.
Most of the others are saying you're missing the point but you're not. They're ignoring the first part of what OP posted and focusing on the same thing that interests them in every other thread: men and their [assumed] seedy intentions.
@bigcomfycuddler $105 is nothing with the amount of traffic generated in NY. But if you disagree that is fine but you are ignoring her main point that @pmvines pointed out—when the sexual component is introduced and shut down she has noticed the dynamic changes and those people want to get out and never return. Many are trying to turn the thread into what she charges, which would be a thread topic better served in the professional cuddling forum.
Also, if you disagree that price is part of the discussion she was looking for, then point out to me where she mentioned her rate. You sought her rate out. If I sought your rate out in your hypothetical scenario you posted it would not be germane to the main topic.
When did it become bad form to defend a woman from off-topic attacks by angry incels?
@FunCartel I think its fair to say the entire thread is better suited for the professional forum, but it would be ridiculous to say that only discussion of her rate should be in the other forum.
I think its obvious her problematic customers seeking things outside of TOS are not returning when she sets them straight. Nobody is refuting that. What we're refuting are her musings that the only reason she doesn't get more business is because everyone else is breaking TOS. @pmvines is not the patron saint and standard bearer of all things cuddling. He's just dude with an opnion, like many of the rest of us.
What we're saying, that you're ignoring, is that her rate, her capabilities as a professional cuddler, and the changing needs and interests of her customers are also significant factors.
@bigcomfycuddler you freaking nailed it my friend !!! I find those assumptions highly offensive as well . No matter how they wanted to mask them . I will like to add that she should take it as a compliment and be proud of herself when a man reacts with a "boner" as she poorly made reference to a male's arousal or erection ,because i personally and honestly don't get one with just any girl just because she looks ok on the outside .. it takes more personality , intellect and a ample education in a woman for me to produce a "boner" with 😂😂
@bigcomfycuddler I think you have no idea about the New York market. And I did not ignore it—I addressed it earlier and just now. For a young lady in NY offering a service that puts her at risk this is normal. If that is what is causing it in NY then a whole bunch of ladies would be leaving. But that is not the case—NY has a bunch of long term pros who charge 120 to 150/hr. It’s NYC. Compare a hamburger in Denver to NYC and you will see. And I would much rather have a Cuddle than a hamburger. There addressed for the second time—not ignored and not really relevant. And I only go to NYC a few times each year, so I am not some provincial yahoo marking his territory. It is just fact.
@FunCartel I sought out her profile for context, just like you and pmvines did to me. I saw that she's a professional and I saw her rate. Then I applied my own perspective, experience, and opinion.
I think the best advice someone gave in this entire thread is for her to give it time so that her customer base and customer exposure can grow.
Nobody needs you and @pmvines swooping in to validate all her man-fears and attempts accuse every other professional of impropiety. Nobody asked you to try invalidating feedback from myself and others. You're doing it because you're forum bullies that want to crap on the perspectives people with differing opinions. Hell, I'm talking from the perspective of a hetero man, which appears to be her client base. Can you say the same?
LOL. I am most certainly not an incel. Unless of course you're an eco-terrorist jihadi SJW feme-nazi cat lady. See, its easy to throw labels at people.
Interesting points I'm seeing on free vs. paid:
It seems I have heard these arguments before, when people first started selling bottled water. In our culture, whether it is bottled water or cuddled women, people will pay for safety and convenience.
Can't/Won't pay for that luxury for any number of perfectly valid reasons? There is nothing stopping you from convincing someone to suck on their garden hose for free.
There is also an equal number of valid reasons for such a service to exist. There are men dying of dehydration in the desert who would pay any price for a bottle of water. Just as there are also men dying inside of emotional dehydration that are willing to pay to quench their soul. That last scenario is the exact reason I discovered this community.
@FunCartel I frequently travel around the country, including to New York, for work. I'm aware of the different market factors, including cost of living, commute time/cost, and competition, that affect a professional's rates.
Are you aware that not everyone can get business at a certain rate and that adjusting your rate is a method of controlling how many clients you get? I personaly see no reason to only book her and to book her often.
Her rate is probably fine for one off appointments. I can also see how she's not really special enough to warrant repeat business at the exclusion of other proffesionals. If her rate was lower than others, or if her cuddling skills were absolutely amazing and measureably better than the others in her market, then she would get more repeat business. Until then, the market has spoken and if she doesn't change anything on her end, then she'll need to wait for the market to change.
You're basically saying all her customers and potential customers are creeps and its not her fault she can't get more repeat business. That's simply not true.
If her rate was like $60, her calendar would fill up and she could then begin raising her rate until she finds the right balance. Or, she can keep same rate and instead hope word gets out that she's an exceptional cuddler.
@bigcomfycuddler LMFAO !!!! I could hear the microphone dropping . Great and most importantly ... valid arguments . Including the arbitrarily attempt of validation from a few characters . Well said and staying on point! any mention of a deviation from topic , it is in fact , a form of manipulating the freedom and entitlement to your opinion, which in reality is the voice of several who preferred to remain silent .
It's a wonder anyone ever puts out a vulnerable share on this site.
You fellows can cry "unfair assumptions" all you like, but from the experience of the women on this site, both nonpro and pro alike, yes indeedy there are LOTS of men who are pushing for more than platonic cuddling when the rules of the site clearly state that's not cool. Yes it's likely and probable that there are women offering more than platonic cuddling. Yes it's a reasonable thing to question based on the evidence collected, and it's reasonable thing to ask for input about. This is a classic situation where a woman is exploring a vulnerable area and gets responded to not from the heart but from the head - now logic would be fine if it were paired with sensitivity, but in this case my radar says it's sitting on top of some undigested tweaks about women's assumptions about men and thus lands as a dumptruck full of lecture with an underbelly of shame shame shame on you you you stupid woman.
Are boners bad? Is being attracted to a woman bad? No. Is it breaking the rules and making it unsafe for your average woman to want to join this site and offer herself for platonic snuggling when she has to wade through unsolicited penis pictures, groping, crossing of boundaries and demands for "more" based on having an attractive female body? Boners are great when they are invited and consensual guests - they aren't so wonderful when they are pushed up against us and rubbed on us by people bigger and stronger than us when we've contracted for platonic cuddling. Sorry that so few of us are appreciating boners as compliments -- honestly when boners so often come with aggressive advances and shaming us for causing them, we seldom actually can muster gratitude and honestly would rather that you keep those sorts of compliments to yourselves on a platonic site such as this one. I'd much rather have a guy acknowledge my intelligence, my kindness or my snuggly warmth than say or display any sign that he's admiring me sexually within the context of this site.
@DonLong I mostly agree with you.
I don't think her rate is too expensive. There are plenty who charge more without issue. She could actually probably charge about $120 with some success.
But your rate, your quality of service, your competition, the changing interests of your customers, all affect repeat business. Its not simply a case of everyone else cheating.
Also, why isn't anyone similarly complaining about more women not repeatedly seeking her world class platonic cuddling services?
For sake of argument, let's assume the OP and her supporters in the thread are correct. Let's assume her area is full of people breaking TOS. Then what? If nothing else changes, she just has to wait it out and take time to develop right clientele base. This is certainly a perfectly valid option. She just needs to be paitent and not get "frustrated", as the thread title implies.
@littermate Don’t waste your breath. There will always be a subset of men who find it easier to criticize a woman asking a question than to try and empathize a bit. I wouldn’t waste your breath. I won’t...this has devolved into a locker room bum slapping thread replete with celebrations of what it takes for them to get a boner.
My guess for most of them it is Viagra.
@DrJames Yes DrJames, thank you for making your voice heard. They've been bullying and labeling people with different views for awhile now, pushing others out until the forum is a microcosm of the actual site membership. Its not right and it doesn't have to be this way.
Always speak your truth, regardless of their attempts to shut you down. And always observe forum rules because their backup is to run to the mods. I've seen it happen time and time again.