Dogs are very special animals. They're very observant and loyal. They have a strong sixth sense. They know when you hurt. They know when you're happy. And they're creatures of habit.
Last night I had a dream. In it my childhood dog Brimmer sat staring up at me. It's not the first time I saw him in my dreams. But this time he gave me such an intense stare I saw my reflection in his Iris. He never winked. He never dropped his face like he used to. My heart sank. I woke up.
I'm not sure if dogs can dream. But I have often seen mine in my dreams in the almost 30 years since he passed. He appears to me in difficult moments: grieving the passing of my very best girlfriend, giving birth to my first child as a single mother,ending my 15 year relationship and having medical surgery.
We had a very special bond. This dog would wake me and my siblings up every day for school. His bark was akin to an owl's call. He would walk us to school every morning. Find his way back home. Then meet us half way there on our journey around the time he knew school recessed for the day.
We lived 2 miles from school. And halfway between home and school was a gas station. Brimmer would hang out at a spot near that station where he knew he could see us coming. And before we could see him he had his paws and drool all over us to say hello. How was your day?
Of course , as young kids we received him with our usual babble of stories of our day at school. Sometimes the poor dog would be so confused trying to make sense of all the babble and attention he got. He would just plop down on all fours and lift his furry eyebrows up at us and stare. I never forgot that stare. That awe. That wonder in his eyes.
That's what made him so special. For a dog he showed such interest. Such loyalty and love. Such heartfelt kindness and generosity. Such patience. I learned as a child what true love is, looks and feels like from my dog.
As an adult I believe I see him in challenging moments and milestones when I need that kind of empathy and understanding the most. I use his presence as reminder to be compassionate, patient and kind to myself and others. Just as he was to me and my siblings when we were kids .
May you forever rest in peace, dear Brim!