Loud Talking During Session

Dan5280

I had a session with someone recently who was really nice, but she talked LOUDLY. I mean, we're lying in bed together and she's talking like I'm in the next room. I found it jarring. She doesn't have a hearing problem.
I didn't want to be rude and say something, but I won't be using her again.
Anyone else ever run into that, or something else that ruined the mood?

Sheena123

I think if I were in your shoes, I would have said “do you mind if we just listen to some music? I prefer silence with a bit of relaxing music in the background.” If she still barrels her way through a conversation, the she obviously isn’t for you.

I think the only thing I’ve experienced that ruined the mood a bit was with a woman that booked me every week. She has a 5 year old that goes to bed about the time I show up. I feel bad for her because she wants to enjoy a nice cuddle but her boy starts acting up and crying. Sometimes he has to cuddle with us. Poor thing.

hugonehugall

I can see how that could spoil the mood for some. Also keep in mind though that some people are just naturally loud talkers and don't really have control over their own volume. So I wouldn't think she was purposely speaking loudly in a way you couldn't relax , I have friends who are the same way it sounds like they're shouting in a crowded room and don't realize it but it's their natural tone. Like @Sheena123 suggested you can opt for soft music or maybe suggest quiet mediation time while you're embraced.

Sheena123

@hugonehugall now that you mention that, I’ve noticed I’m like that sometimes. Whenever I talk with my family, they are always shushing me because I’m much too loud, but I never notice 😕

hugonehugall

@Sheena123 I know I've had moments like that too especially once I get comfortable around certain people. I've been told my voice is deeper than people expect and it carries. But I can tone it down when I have to ... Some people cannot unfortunately how hard they try. I guess they were born without volume control 😬

Dante_S

I have a loud voice that carries... (and while I've never been told I've been loud while cuddling or something like that)... I have been told many times my speaking keeps getting louder (and I have been tested, I'm not going deaf!)
To the point where my friends know, and some co-workers know... if I'm ever too loud, just to motion with their one hand... motioning moving their hand down, and I'll get the hint.
It's not intended at all.

She may just be excited / comfortable like other people have mentioned. Maybe just mentioning to her "Hey, I really enjoyed our cuddle time together, but I found when you talked it was a bit loud..."

Oh, and as for things that ruined it (kinda)... Having a dog STARE at us from the second floor. It was just really creepy. LOL

TheFunCartel

I have found a lot of loud talkers that I have known and met quite often fail to pick up on social cues. I cannot speak for the people here that say they are loud. When I say they fail to pick up on social cues they do not pick up on the other person looking away, or fidgeting, or just acting disconnected or indifferent in general to the loud talker. Loud talkers can exhaust me quickly.

hogboblin

I can’t tolerate loud people. Not just when it comes to cuddling, but in general.

If I were wrapped around a person, and they started being obnoxiously noisy, I’d likely emit a blood-curdling scream and scurry away.

littermate

If it were me that was the loud talker, I would appreciate someone to say something to me like, I have sensitive ears and your voice is a little loud for me.

KariMeiSnuggles

My voice is pretty calming but my laugh is annoying lol. I hope I never annoy a cuddler and if I do they tactfully tell me.

geoff1000

Some people in my office aren't exactly loud, but have a voice that carries, like a theatre actor in a huge auditorium. There are plenty of training courses for being loud, but none for being quiet. Perhaps try saying that the walls are thin, and the neighbours listen in.

My cuddle sessions are usually spoiled by my alarm clock going off. My cuddle partner says, "You have to wake up and go to work, and I have to turn back into a pillow".