A couple of questions that I
have seen are:
Does
anyone meet to cuddle?
Has
anyone traveled far before?
I
am an old school brother, who frowns on the advent of social media. I personally
think it is intrusive, and helps to depersonalize who we are largely as a
society. Having said that; this is the closest forum I have used, in relation
to any type of social media. Why? Because I wanted to try and connect with you. And, isn’t that after all; what
cuddling does – brings us closer together? I would be surprised in a year’s
time; if my profile and photo remain on this site.
But let me get on with the
good news. I have met some interesting folk already, across the country, who
have shared themselves personally, and passed on some really great information;
about the art of life. As suggested on the site, I would sometimes send out a
greeting; perhaps sharing what I might be reading (Grant Park, a great
historical novel by author Leonard Pitts Jr.) Or, that I was listening to
singer-songwriter Lianne La Havas’ newest CD, “Blood,” whose sound I have
lately been transfixed by. I received quite a few good responses, that did not
necessarily always generate a friend request; nor was that my goal. What I did
do, was give myself permission to travel within a radius of 100 miles from
where I live in Connecticut. If I go out to my door towards the left, I will be
headed towards Boston. Should I head out towards my right, I will be on the way to New
York City.
One
of the good folks I reached out to with a note, replied back, and we started to
exchange emails. I try to be as transparent as possible on who I am; or aspire
to be. The vibe seemed right, and certainly the energy was on a positive tip.
So, as this quickly developed over a short period of time (a week or so); I
then sent out my cell phone number. Later that afternoon, while napping on the
couch, my phone rings. I glance over at the phone, and see that the Caller ID
is from somewhere near Boston. I chuckled; because while it was not discussed
when we would speak, I knew who happened to be calling, from a number that I
did not recognize.
“Hello,” I answered.
“Hey Bill, its James,” he
replied. (“James” is not his real name.) We exchanged
pleasantries about the day. My friend told me he had just gotten a new phone.
The connection was not all that great, probably because I had my head buried in
a pillow. After repeating myself twice, I cut to the chase; “Do you want to
cuddle,” I asked?
“Yes,” my new friend
answered, easily.
And this is where the real
adventure begins. While on the phone, it was decided I would travel to Boston,
James would host, provide me with some dates on his availability; and I would
come up with a tentative itinerary, on which we would then mutually agree. We never spoke again, until the day we met.
It gets better, stay with me, please. We hung up the phone, and I had just
accepted an invitation to cuddle with a guy, that I did not know – nor did I
even know what James looked like! I have a photo attached to my profile, and
James did not. For me, this was not a deal breaker; and I will explain as we
get further along in this tale. In the meantime, I went to work doing my due diligence,
like a champ. I only learned about the business of cuddling, very recently; so
I have been reading and researching, in and outside the box. In subsequent
communication with James, I passed along my personal contact information;
requesting he send me the same, along with a photo. No problem. I tossed him a
card in the mail, to say hello; and he emailed me a photo of himself, and the
card. The sentiment was real; but I also wanted to make sure wherever I would
be going, was not in the end zone. (Serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer lured his
victim’s home, and then ate them.) I was not going off the grid. The point I am trying to stress, is there should be protocols in
place to ensure your personal safety.
You would never go out to dinner, order lamb; and a plate of prime rib shows
up. That would be unacceptable, as it wasn’t what you asked for. Simply said;
check out the establishment, and its reputation before ever going there.
Once we set a date and time
to hang out, it was decided James would pick me up at South Station, around
11:00 a.m., on a recent Saturday morning. Before leaving home I packed a cuddle
kit inside my gym bag: sweats, an oversize tee shirt, a good attitude; along
with my love and kindness. I avoided having milk and coffee that morning, for
obvious reasons. By this time, I was comfortable in setting up a play date with
James. He had been forthcoming all along with any information I had asked for,
and genuine in his responses. James had also been vetted properly, by the
aforementioned steps I took. (This would also provide him with a certain
comfort level, as it relates to me.)
Real talk. For me, it was all about trust. I was willing to put my ego
aside, and allow myself to be embraced, inside the comfort and care of another
human being – who happened to be a male. Huge. I have found that you cannot
articulate goodness. It is not a learned behavior; but intrinsic in the spirit.
The important factor here, was not what the brother looked like; but for me, how
well he handled himself in character and deed. As it turns out, I was in very
good hands. James had brought his love and kindness, too. Showtime.
James picked me up, and we
headed over to his place. He went into the bathroom to change; while I switched
gear in his bedroom. Notably; at the end of our session, we both changed
together into our street clothes, in the bedroom. Modesty had passed the test;
and we now were in a comfort zone. Meanwhile, at the start of our cuddling
session; James and I sat together on the couch. He put his arm around me. I
froze. James asked me; ‘what I was thinking’? ‘Oh, I’m just freaking out’; I
might have said. He then mentioned having gone to see a professional cuddler;
who had shared some of her techniques. James then introduced me to “Papa Bear;”
my new nickname. I lay flat on my back, the length of his couch. He laid on top
of my lower body, with his head resting on my torso. I put my arms around his
neck; and in that moment, relaxed. The joy of all this, is that we spent the
entire day in very good communication. We would ask each other, what are you
thinking, or feeling? Are you comfortable? There is another site (Cuddlist)
that seems to work with exercises. James and I informally utilized those skills
in our session. We played games. Held hands. (Massaged our fingers.) Talked.
Talked some more. About an hour into it, I said; “who knew that cuddling with a
dude could be so much fun?” We both laughed. It was intense, loving, and
therapeutic for me. More so then I had imagined, or expected. Contrary to what
most folks might think, it was not sexualized in any manner. While we were all
over the map; there were boundaries not bridged or broken. The synergy between
James and I had a proper connection. Would I see him again? Is a bullfrog
waterproof? Absolutely.