I hope you can find your way to a better perspective here on CC. I went through a period in my life where I struggled with my understanding on various levels of relationship expectations. It took about one full year of abstinence, counseling, a spiritual intensive and support from friends to arrive at a better place for myself. CC now acts as a reminder of how important it is for me to be able to come and go from close, physical contact with another person and truly let go. Until that day came in my life, I was never truly free.
"You are a sexual being. Embrace and express it in healthy ways and if you cannot, deliberately seek out people who can help you to do that" - Teal Swan