In my experience of cuddling I've learned how important it is not to just listen but to hold a conversation and let the person know that whatever they're going through in there time of need you been through it as well. It makes the person feel more at ease to know that they're not the only ones going through hard time and that there are people out there that can relate to their struggles.
So true ☺️ I’m always ready to say whatever I can to show people that there are those out there that care. Sometimes when someone talks to be about something they’re going through, I’ll ask,” would you like to just vent, or would you like some advice?” Some people do just want someone to listen but more times than not, they want a friend to help make the situation better. 💖
I expect that sometimes some people want the physical act, without the conversation "payment" ; like eating a pizza delivery when they can't face dressing up to go out to a posh restaurant.
Other times it may be a welcome prompt, and "I don't want to talk about it" becomes a verbal flood.
Communication, like many topics here, probably will be divided among pros v. non-pros. In general, my feeling from the forum are that certain people like the "transaction" ease of using a pro--schedule, cuddle, pay, in and out, no connection. Others, usually non-pros, like to establish a connection, on some level, with their cuddler for different reasons, one being that it allows a greater sense of ease and comfort, thus making the cuddle more enjoyable.
That said, I've found quite a few people here, most whom I have NOT cuddled with, who I now consider friends. I have shared details of my life with them I haven't share with people geographically closer or whom I've known much longer. Again, in general, I think that many of the non-pros are here because they are missing/desire physical intimacy/affection/touch and have similar reasons for what created that need (divorce, self-worth issues, etc.) so empathy and kind shoulders abound.
@2dogmom "In general, my feeling from the forum are that certain people like the "transaction" ease of using a pro--schedule, cuddle, pay, in and out, no connection. Others, usually non-pros, like to establish a connection, on some level, with their cuddler for different reasons, one being that it allows a greater sense of ease and comfort, thus making the cuddle more enjoyable."
For me, the connection part is one of the most important things about cuddling a professional. With two different professionals who I had already cuddled several times, there was a time when I felt a lack of connection and I mentioned it to them (in a positive kind of way) -- and the next cuddle with both of them was absolutely lovely, since they valued that too.
I guess I see cuddling as a way of knowing and being known by someone, which happens on multiple levels; if it was limited to just something physical then I would feel like I missed out. But if someone lets me close to them emotionally as well as physically, that's a precious gift and I love them for it (platonicly!).
I love the mutually supportive affection, attention and sharing that I've had with a couple of my cuddlers. My most regular cuddler was even with me as my daughter (who is away at school) had a health emergency; he was quite supportive as it unfolded during our cuddling session. Since he's also a dad, it became another dimension within which I felt connected to him. I am abundantly available during cuddle sessions for whatever wants to be communicated and heard and I enjoy when someone is mature enough to also be able to hold that kind of space. It's sweet to share our humanness in this way where it works.
@respectful I am glad to know that your need for communication was honored by the pros you cuddled. I have heard from some of my cuddles that some of the pros they cuddled are "all business" and it was off-putting.
I, too, have cuddled a pro and our communication was great before and during our cuddle. But every cuddler is different and one cuddle once told me that quiet was nice... a nice way of telling me to be quiet! lol
As I note in my profile, I love getting to know new people and, through this site, I've made several new friends--some whom I've met, some whom I haven't, and some I hope to one day soon--and I definitely feel love and affection for them!
@littermate I love your last line... "It's sweet to share our humanness in this way where it works." I might change even add "soul-changing."
At the risk of sounding like Michelle from "American Pie", who began every anecdote with "That reminds me of this one time at band camp". . .
I took a taxi passenger on a near-silent journey of about an hour. At the end, she said, "I enjoyed our conversation"
When I replied that I hadn't said anything, she said "That's what I enjoyed about it".
I think that might be a secondary benefit of movie theatre cuddling, no conversation is expected.
Cuddling is a form of communication in an of itself. If we add verbal communication I feel even more comfortable and connected. I know everyone is different, and talking to each other will always help, in my experience.