@ubergigglefritz Perhaps "addicted" was the wrong word. I meant that sex gives people a nice feeling ; and unlike say heroin, they are born with that knowledge.
Men who don't enjoy sex, are less likely to have children, so for that gender it is genetically favourable, at least in numbers.
Its perfectly normal for someone to have a high sex drive or even want it on a regular or daily basis. Addiction would be described as the need to have it everyday as to maintain normalcy in one's self. Thats different from " If sex was available to me everyday I would have it ... But its not so that's ok " I would also disagree that we are born addicted to touch. I have several friends who have no interest in cuddling or hugging holding hands things of that nature. Its not a result of any past trauma or neglect its just something outside their comfort zone and I respect that. But at the same token they lead happy and healthy sex lives. To each their own is what it boils down to.
There is obviously more to sex than the physical sensation of contact ; else inanimate objects would be just as effective, and gender would be irrelevant for everyone. That suggests there is an intrinsic benefit to the "other" aspects, when they are experienced with one's gender preference.
I'm thinking of a parallel with food. Some natural combinations ( such as fish and chips ) can be enjoyed separately, and are in some circumstances preferred without the "normal accompaniment".
@hugonehugall Were your friends aversive to touch as babies? Babies are born with a need for touch and connection. That's what I said. I know there are plenty of adults who don't like touch. You may not know of a real reason for their discomfort with touch, but I can all but assure you there is. Even if it's not trauma, there are cultural reasons, familial environment they grew up in, attitudes of their father and peers growing up, etc. But all babies are born with that need. Sometimes if a baby is neglected right at birth, they can quickly develop issues with touch though, and become a baby who is uncomfortable with touch. But they are born with that need to be close to another human body, until something in their environment changes that. 🤷
@ubergigglefritz I find that a good way to cope without having something, is to convince myself that I don't want it.
When I was a teenager, my mother had an unhelpful knack of saying of any attractive girl that I knew I had no chance of dating, "She seems nice". As if the only thing preventing my success ;was that I either hadn't noticed them, or hadn't considered them that way.
Imagine Man Friday saying to Robinson Cruse, "Would you like a cigarette ?" then explaining that he didn't have any, it was just an idle question.
@ubergigglefritz some of them are ok with touch if it's leading to something sexual , some are fine with hugging but would certainly never cuddle a " platonic " friend because to them that would just be weird. And some will tell you " Im not a hugger " which is fine if it's not their thing.
@geoff1000 Totally get that. It is a lot more emotionally difficult to want something you feel like you can't have than to convince yourself you don't want it in the first place. 😞 There's also a oudant attachment style which is a similar concept. 😇